Al-anon and your HP
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Al-anon and your HP
I have a question. I spend most of my time on the Newcomers Forum as I am an alcoholic in recovery. (In terms of why I'm on this forum, I came here initially to try to understand my husband but I stayed because it has helped me with my whole life - I have an alcoholic brother, an ex-husband who I have 2 children with who is a meth addict, an ex-boyfriend who died of a heroine OD, a mom and a sister who struggle with their alcohol consumption, a brother-in-law who looks like an alcohlic to me, an enabling sister, and a husband who binge drinks occassionally.)
Anyway...... that's the long intro....
My question is this. There are so many people on the Newcomer's Forum who do not like AA because of the spiritual nature of it -- the talk about a HP -- saying the Lord's Prayer at the end -- etc. I see many people who are really contemptuous and discouraged of any talk of God within the context of recovery.
How do people in Al-anon handle that? Are there people in Al-anon who are discouraged and/or put off by the talk about an HP?
Anyway...... that's the long intro....
My question is this. There are so many people on the Newcomer's Forum who do not like AA because of the spiritual nature of it -- the talk about a HP -- saying the Lord's Prayer at the end -- etc. I see many people who are really contemptuous and discouraged of any talk of God within the context of recovery.
How do people in Al-anon handle that? Are there people in Al-anon who are discouraged and/or put off by the talk about an HP?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
I'm sure there are people in Al-Anon and Nar-Anon who are put off by talk of a higher power. It seems as though there are secular support groups for recovering addicts, and so I believe there should be secular groups for the family and friends, too. I do not, however, have any experience in that....there is a 'secular connections' forum on this site, you might ask them about it.
Hugs, HG
Hugs, HG
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Hi mle! Always good to see another alkie over here 
I spent some time in the rooms of Al-Anon after my first year in AA, and then I started attending CoDA meetings every week, I continue to do so to this day. At the Al-Anon meetings I went to we said the Lord's Prayer, at the CoDA meetings we don't, but it doesn't keep any of our members from sharing about God. One thing I've noticed that all those meetings have in common.....most of us believe in a God of our understanding, our Steps have evolved from those in the program of AA.......and there will always be those who struggle with the concept of a Higher Power, no matter what program they're in.
So my question to you: Why not try attending a few Al-Anon meetings in your area and decide for yourself?
I spent some time in the rooms of Al-Anon after my first year in AA, and then I started attending CoDA meetings every week, I continue to do so to this day. At the Al-Anon meetings I went to we said the Lord's Prayer, at the CoDA meetings we don't, but it doesn't keep any of our members from sharing about God. One thing I've noticed that all those meetings have in common.....most of us believe in a God of our understanding, our Steps have evolved from those in the program of AA.......and there will always be those who struggle with the concept of a Higher Power, no matter what program they're in.
So my question to you: Why not try attending a few Al-Anon meetings in your area and decide for yourself?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 17
mle-sober -
Hi there.
One of the things that brought my XABF and I together is that we are both Agnostic. We were both raised in Christian households, but through one way or another, we both ultimately chose "Agnostic" to describe our religious beliefs.
My XABF entered into AA before I entered into Al-Anon. I knew he would have a problem with some of the steps because of the talk of Higher Power. There are actually some AA groups out there who identify as Agnostic/Atheist and have rewritten the 12 Steps to coincide with their belief systems [they're not that much different from the original 12 Steps]. Unfortunately, the closest of such meetings for us was 2.5 hours away. Regardless, I offered to go with him to those meetings because I didn't want anything to hinder his recovery.
He continued to mention how uncomfortable he was with the program because of the Higher Power aspect.
The truth is, when someone is not ready for recovery, they will find any reason to not like the program. Convenient for my XABF, he used the Higher Power thing. Not it may have been something that genuinely turned him off, but it's important to note that neither AA or Al-Anon are inherently religious.
I have been attending Al-Anon for a few weeks now, and I can tell you that I have not once been turned off by that aspect. I still identify as Agnostic, but the program is working for me.
I don't know if this helps or not, but good luck with everything!
Hi there.
One of the things that brought my XABF and I together is that we are both Agnostic. We were both raised in Christian households, but through one way or another, we both ultimately chose "Agnostic" to describe our religious beliefs.
My XABF entered into AA before I entered into Al-Anon. I knew he would have a problem with some of the steps because of the talk of Higher Power. There are actually some AA groups out there who identify as Agnostic/Atheist and have rewritten the 12 Steps to coincide with their belief systems [they're not that much different from the original 12 Steps]. Unfortunately, the closest of such meetings for us was 2.5 hours away. Regardless, I offered to go with him to those meetings because I didn't want anything to hinder his recovery.
He continued to mention how uncomfortable he was with the program because of the Higher Power aspect.
The truth is, when someone is not ready for recovery, they will find any reason to not like the program. Convenient for my XABF, he used the Higher Power thing. Not it may have been something that genuinely turned him off, but it's important to note that neither AA or Al-Anon are inherently religious.
I have been attending Al-Anon for a few weeks now, and I can tell you that I have not once been turned off by that aspect. I still identify as Agnostic, but the program is working for me.
I don't know if this helps or not, but good luck with everything!
I'm growing
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Right where I need to be
Posts: 601
In my home group we have a wide variety..many claim no religion at all. Some consider the "group" to be their higher power.
In the 12 steps it is underlined (or italisized) as we understood him Which to me leaves the door wide open.
We do not say the Lord's prayer at my home group, but at another one I frequent they do. It is up to each group what they say.
It doesn't really matter since we Take what we Liked and Leave the Rest
I thought I would tell a story about a guy that went to Al-anon and did not have a higher power. He struggled and struggled with what it meant. He just couldn't get past it. SO he decided to make the tree outside of his apt. his HP. On occasion he may have told the tree his troubles, etc. and then one day he came home from work and they had cut the tree down.
In the 12 steps it is underlined (or italisized) as we understood him Which to me leaves the door wide open.
We do not say the Lord's prayer at my home group, but at another one I frequent they do. It is up to each group what they say.
It doesn't really matter since we Take what we Liked and Leave the Rest
I thought I would tell a story about a guy that went to Al-anon and did not have a higher power. He struggled and struggled with what it meant. He just couldn't get past it. SO he decided to make the tree outside of his apt. his HP. On occasion he may have told the tree his troubles, etc. and then one day he came home from work and they had cut the tree down.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Hey MLE,
I'm an alkie in recovery also. I am currently separated from my active AH. I did not use AA to gain my freedom from alcohol addiction. My tools were my brain, SR and support of my children and a couple of friends. I chose not to use AA for several reasons, and one of them was the reference to God as a Higher Power.
I grew up in a religious home, attended church regularly, and continued the tradition into adulthood. I have read the bible cover to cover many times. AH and two of my children have also read the bible cover to cover many times. I quit attending church about 7 years ago and quit reading the bible about 6 years ago.
Today I do not consider myself to be religious. I shy away from any type of label to classify my beliefs. I prefer to say that I am a spiritual person.
I began to realize my codependant issues a few years ago. I have read the books and tried to make the changes on my own. I recognize my part in trying to control the actions of others in my home and the resulting frustration. I knew I needed outside help on this one!
I don't have health insurance or spare finances, so counseling is not an option. My friend that is a social worker does not have any experience with alcoholism. I decided to give Alanon a try. I have learned a lot from SR members about what to expect as far as the religious aspects of meetings. Also, I knew I could take what I needed and leave the rest.
I can tell that some of the people at meetings really embrace their religious beliefs and stress that in their sharing. I am happy they have found the comfort they needed. I support them and thank them for sharing. I know the words to the prayers and say them of my own free will. I'm not there to be converted or to convert. I am their to find support and experience. I'm glad I started attending alanon.
I reminded my group tonight, that as long as I can keep getting sober hugs, I'll keep coming back!
I'm an alkie in recovery also. I am currently separated from my active AH. I did not use AA to gain my freedom from alcohol addiction. My tools were my brain, SR and support of my children and a couple of friends. I chose not to use AA for several reasons, and one of them was the reference to God as a Higher Power.
I grew up in a religious home, attended church regularly, and continued the tradition into adulthood. I have read the bible cover to cover many times. AH and two of my children have also read the bible cover to cover many times. I quit attending church about 7 years ago and quit reading the bible about 6 years ago.
Today I do not consider myself to be religious. I shy away from any type of label to classify my beliefs. I prefer to say that I am a spiritual person.
I began to realize my codependant issues a few years ago. I have read the books and tried to make the changes on my own. I recognize my part in trying to control the actions of others in my home and the resulting frustration. I knew I needed outside help on this one!
I don't have health insurance or spare finances, so counseling is not an option. My friend that is a social worker does not have any experience with alcoholism. I decided to give Alanon a try. I have learned a lot from SR members about what to expect as far as the religious aspects of meetings. Also, I knew I could take what I needed and leave the rest.
I can tell that some of the people at meetings really embrace their religious beliefs and stress that in their sharing. I am happy they have found the comfort they needed. I support them and thank them for sharing. I know the words to the prayers and say them of my own free will. I'm not there to be converted or to convert. I am their to find support and experience. I'm glad I started attending alanon.
I reminded my group tonight, that as long as I can keep getting sober hugs, I'll keep coming back!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
When I came back to Al Anon, I was angry with God. I certainly didn't want a Higher Power if it was the God of my child hood, the type who kept score and was very punishing in nature. As a child I always felt like I had one foot on the stairway straight to H*ll.
What I did want was recovery. I wanted the peace and serenity that I saw in many of the faces at the meetings. At first, I decided to make the group itself my higher power. I could see them as a power greater than myself which could restore me to sanity.
As time went on, I discussed all this with my sponsor. She told me the most wonderful thing: I could FIRE the god of my childhood and hire a new one!
She suggested that I write down a list of attributes that I admired in certain people - friends, celebrities, famous people in history. I spent some time on that list, and it included things like a sense of humor, unconditional love, understanding, compassionate etc.
She then told me that I had just written a description of my higher power - the god of my understanding.
Al Anon is a spiritual program, but not a religious one. Some groups say the Lords Prayer at the end of meetings, other groups say the Al Anon Declaration. Some say the Serenity Prayer. There are people at my meetings who participate in that closing prayer, and people who don't. But they keep coming back to the meetings because they see how it works in other peoples lives.
It works when you work it, pure and simple.
Hugs
Cats
What I did want was recovery. I wanted the peace and serenity that I saw in many of the faces at the meetings. At first, I decided to make the group itself my higher power. I could see them as a power greater than myself which could restore me to sanity.
As time went on, I discussed all this with my sponsor. She told me the most wonderful thing: I could FIRE the god of my childhood and hire a new one!
She suggested that I write down a list of attributes that I admired in certain people - friends, celebrities, famous people in history. I spent some time on that list, and it included things like a sense of humor, unconditional love, understanding, compassionate etc.
She then told me that I had just written a description of my higher power - the god of my understanding.
Al Anon is a spiritual program, but not a religious one. Some groups say the Lords Prayer at the end of meetings, other groups say the Al Anon Declaration. Some say the Serenity Prayer. There are people at my meetings who participate in that closing prayer, and people who don't. But they keep coming back to the meetings because they see how it works in other peoples lives.
It works when you work it, pure and simple.
Hugs
Cats
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 225
Originally Posted by WomanFriend 
The truth is, when someone is not ready for recovery, they will find any reason to not like the program. Convenient for my XABF, he used the Higher Power thing. Not it may have been something that genuinely turned him off, but it's important to note that neither AA or Al-Anon are inherently religious.
HOWEVER, I did shop around a bit, and found a perfectly lovely group that was much more my speed.
Personally, I think that meetings are a pretty intimate affair. And I found it hard to be vulnerable in a setting that was so unlike myself. I would think this would hold true for any subset of the 12-step groups.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Hi 
I'm not religious and I am in Al-Anon. I have had difficulty with giving some substance to HP and I have found it difficult to give it some form.
So what I have done is just see my HP as the universe. My HP has no shape, my HP isn't a traditonal image of God. It's just all the positive things that are in my life: the group, nature, the air. If I look to HP for guidance or courage I just think about it and throw it out there and don't think about it too much.
I'm not religious and I am in Al-Anon. I have had difficulty with giving some substance to HP and I have found it difficult to give it some form.
So what I have done is just see my HP as the universe. My HP has no shape, my HP isn't a traditonal image of God. It's just all the positive things that are in my life: the group, nature, the air. If I look to HP for guidance or courage I just think about it and throw it out there and don't think about it too much.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
I struggle with the HP notion of 12 step recovery.
I am an atheist, which (she says defensively LOL) is a stable world view not synonymous with codependency or addiction problems.
I don't think I am God, I'm not angry, I am not denying the existance of a HP against all/any evidence. I have no problem with the beliefs of others or their relationship with their HP of their understanding and I can take what I like from most of the Al-anon/12-step teachings.
But some make absolutely no sense if the concept of any HP is alien to you. Some are fine to align with the Al-anon group's wisdom, some with the one-ness of the universe and its existance, and there are others that I modify a bit e.g instead of letting go and letting god, I just let go......
but there are places where it makes no sense, and one where I come a cropper specifically is let go and let god (or HP) in relation to my children's safety. The inability of some people within al-anon to understand that can be very difficult especially if it becomes attributed to unwillingness to change, directions to "act as if", or helpful comments that "it doesn't have to be god you know it can be anything: a doorknob, a chair" because I am not going to act as if my childrens' welfare can be placed in the care of a chair.
...but there isn't anything else around here that's f2f, except therapy, which I go to, so I take what I like and leave the rest
I am an atheist, which (she says defensively LOL) is a stable world view not synonymous with codependency or addiction problems.
I don't think I am God, I'm not angry, I am not denying the existance of a HP against all/any evidence. I have no problem with the beliefs of others or their relationship with their HP of their understanding and I can take what I like from most of the Al-anon/12-step teachings.
But some make absolutely no sense if the concept of any HP is alien to you. Some are fine to align with the Al-anon group's wisdom, some with the one-ness of the universe and its existance, and there are others that I modify a bit e.g instead of letting go and letting god, I just let go......
but there are places where it makes no sense, and one where I come a cropper specifically is let go and let god (or HP) in relation to my children's safety. The inability of some people within al-anon to understand that can be very difficult especially if it becomes attributed to unwillingness to change, directions to "act as if", or helpful comments that "it doesn't have to be god you know it can be anything: a doorknob, a chair" because I am not going to act as if my childrens' welfare can be placed in the care of a chair.
...but there isn't anything else around here that's f2f, except therapy, which I go to, so I take what I like and leave the rest
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Thanks for all the wonderful and insightful answers. I was actually asking out of a curiousity about how different this appears between the two forums here at SR. The Newcomers forum seems constantly in need of discussing this issue. But the Friends & Family forum never seems to need to discuss or debate it. I kept wondering why.
I was raised in a monastic Catholic environment. But my mom has converted to Mormonism and my father has converted to Budhism. I have two sons from a previous marriage who I agreed to raise Reform Jewish. I have two younger sons who I've agreed to raise Episcaplian like my husband. One of my sisters is very New Age and I guess you'd call her a Pagen. My other sister is an Aethiest. When I think about this, I get kind of happy because I love the diversity. I think of myself as spiritual and I do pray. But I don't feel like I'm a Christian. I don't even really have a name for it. I just know my spirituality as a voice inside me that is greater than me and is connected to the universe in some mysterious way that I don't feel the need to define.
I get frustrated with the anxiety that some people new to AA have over the issue. Or some in the Newcomer's Forum who disdain any talk of an HP. And I have to work on my patience and tolerance. So I think I was venting and looking for understanding about why it might be different in Al-anon. Like why do Al-anon people seem so much more tolerant of talking about an HP.
At any rate, sorry for the rambling. I appreciate your comments. I did gain insight. Thank you!
I was raised in a monastic Catholic environment. But my mom has converted to Mormonism and my father has converted to Budhism. I have two sons from a previous marriage who I agreed to raise Reform Jewish. I have two younger sons who I've agreed to raise Episcaplian like my husband. One of my sisters is very New Age and I guess you'd call her a Pagen. My other sister is an Aethiest. When I think about this, I get kind of happy because I love the diversity. I think of myself as spiritual and I do pray. But I don't feel like I'm a Christian. I don't even really have a name for it. I just know my spirituality as a voice inside me that is greater than me and is connected to the universe in some mysterious way that I don't feel the need to define.
I get frustrated with the anxiety that some people new to AA have over the issue. Or some in the Newcomer's Forum who disdain any talk of an HP. And I have to work on my patience and tolerance. So I think I was venting and looking for understanding about why it might be different in Al-anon. Like why do Al-anon people seem so much more tolerant of talking about an HP.
At any rate, sorry for the rambling. I appreciate your comments. I did gain insight. Thank you!
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Hey..
My group speaks lovingly of a Higher Power..although each member comes from
different religious upbringing and backgrounds. Or none. One says "Creator" as they hold to
Native American beliefs. I think the difference, at least between AA and Alanon
is..in AA we are hard on ourselves and easy on others. "It's not about me."
In Alanon.."it is about me"..and it is a softer, gentler program, ..we are easy
on ourselves. It is a loving program.
My group speaks lovingly of a Higher Power..although each member comes from
different religious upbringing and backgrounds. Or none. One says "Creator" as they hold to
Native American beliefs. I think the difference, at least between AA and Alanon
is..in AA we are hard on ourselves and easy on others. "It's not about me."
In Alanon.."it is about me"..and it is a softer, gentler program, ..we are easy
on ourselves. It is a loving program.
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Originally Posted by IO Storm
I think the difference, at least between AA and Alanon
is..in AA we are hard on ourselves and easy on others. "It's not about me."
In Alanon.."it is about me"..and it is a softer, gentler program, ..we are easy
on ourselves. It is a loving program.
is..in AA we are hard on ourselves and easy on others. "It's not about me."
In Alanon.."it is about me"..and it is a softer, gentler program, ..we are easy
on ourselves. It is a loving program.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: It's a Dry Heat, AZ.
Posts: 438
I hear more griping about Gawd in AA, compared to Al-anon. I've often wondered about this too. The Higher Power concept is the same in both 12 step groups. It probably has something to do with the nature of alcoholics not entirely willing to surrender completely to a power greater than himself or herself. I like to refer to it as the "Third Step Hurdle". Several members of my AA home group seem to have problems getting past it.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,636
As far as I can tell, the reason that I don't hear anywhere the amount of contention and arguing over the issue of HP -- or anything else -- in Al Anon as in AA is only because of the basic general personality differences between AAs and Al Anons. I mean, let's face it, most Al Anon's are just not as outright argumentative as a lot of AAs. If they don't like or don't agree with something, they are far more likely to just go along quietly, slink away silently, or, if they do do anything, to do it in a passive aggressive manner.
Also, when someone new comes into Al Anon, it is much more rare to have anyone "push" the HP idea on them or tell them in fire-and-brimstone language that if they don't get in-line with a particular concept of HP they will fail and run the risk of death......That's just not, for both better and for worse, the general atmosphere of Al Anon groups or the general attitude of Al Anon members. In general, Al Anons are very conflict adverse and prefer not to upset anyone -- after all, many of us derive much of our sense of safety and self-worth by trying to make and keep other people happy.
Now, to me, this is a double-edged sword: Sure, people are not driven away or given an easy excuse to go away by HP zealots or How AL Anon Works thumpers, but, on the other hand, there is sometimes, in my experience, a tendency to "not get" the urgency of recovery, to not strongly encourage people to do step work and service, etc....and, in my opinion, that's just as problematic and potentially dangerous as driving people away with too much attitude and too much fervor right out of the gate.
freya
Also, when someone new comes into Al Anon, it is much more rare to have anyone "push" the HP idea on them or tell them in fire-and-brimstone language that if they don't get in-line with a particular concept of HP they will fail and run the risk of death......That's just not, for both better and for worse, the general atmosphere of Al Anon groups or the general attitude of Al Anon members. In general, Al Anons are very conflict adverse and prefer not to upset anyone -- after all, many of us derive much of our sense of safety and self-worth by trying to make and keep other people happy.
Now, to me, this is a double-edged sword: Sure, people are not driven away or given an easy excuse to go away by HP zealots or How AL Anon Works thumpers, but, on the other hand, there is sometimes, in my experience, a tendency to "not get" the urgency of recovery, to not strongly encourage people to do step work and service, etc....and, in my opinion, that's just as problematic and potentially dangerous as driving people away with too much attitude and too much fervor right out of the gate.
freya
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 43
I am new to the alanon group and struggling with the HP as well. I see many people well into recovery who seem to be much more at peace with themselves and their situation. They all claim working the steps has done this for them. I want the same serenety, but don't want to be forced to accept a god I don't believe in to get there.
I was looking at secular alternatives, but there just isn't the amount of meetings/ support groups/ numbers as alanon. I appreciate some of the options this thread has and am searching for some good reading material. I want to continue on the alanon path as it seems to be what I need right now, but I am still desperately searching for my Hp to make the program work.
I was looking at secular alternatives, but there just isn't the amount of meetings/ support groups/ numbers as alanon. I appreciate some of the options this thread has and am searching for some good reading material. I want to continue on the alanon path as it seems to be what I need right now, but I am still desperately searching for my Hp to make the program work.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
RoundII, I have major issues with religion in Al-Anon. While they may call it spirituality it is based very heavily on Christianity. I am a Buddhist and an atheist which surprises many people that Buddhism doesn't require belief in a God or Gods.
On Day At A Time, one of the main books used in Al-Anon quotes the Bible over 40 times not to mention things like The Book Of Common Prayer and quotes from Christian saints.
I found the meetings to be hugely helpful for me in getting my life back in order, realizing that I had choices and that it was ok for me to take care of myself. I also got a lot of help from the Serenity Prayer, I simply don't say God, and from the slogans.
I did not like the steps or the idea of a sponsor at all. If you look at my signature I took the 12 steps and put my Buddhist spin on them and reduced them to 3.
1st was giving up the illusion of control. Next was letting go of the past. I had to accept that I can't change the past but also realize it has no power over me other than what I choose to give it. Last was accepting me as I am. Doesn't mean I can't work to get better but that working to get better is part of me now.
One of the big parallels between Buddhism and Al-Anon is learning to live in the moment. Some of the tools are the same and some are different. When you live in the moment you accept that both the past and future are outside of your control so there is no sense in spending mental and emotional energy fussing over either of them.
So, contrary to Al-Anon principles my higher power is me, it is my inner wisdom which I can access when I need to by quieting my mind and emotions and paying attention to what feels right, not what I try to talk myself into believing is right.
So you can get past the higher power thing but it does take some effort.
Your friend,
On Day At A Time, one of the main books used in Al-Anon quotes the Bible over 40 times not to mention things like The Book Of Common Prayer and quotes from Christian saints.
I found the meetings to be hugely helpful for me in getting my life back in order, realizing that I had choices and that it was ok for me to take care of myself. I also got a lot of help from the Serenity Prayer, I simply don't say God, and from the slogans.
I did not like the steps or the idea of a sponsor at all. If you look at my signature I took the 12 steps and put my Buddhist spin on them and reduced them to 3.
1st was giving up the illusion of control. Next was letting go of the past. I had to accept that I can't change the past but also realize it has no power over me other than what I choose to give it. Last was accepting me as I am. Doesn't mean I can't work to get better but that working to get better is part of me now.
One of the big parallels between Buddhism and Al-Anon is learning to live in the moment. Some of the tools are the same and some are different. When you live in the moment you accept that both the past and future are outside of your control so there is no sense in spending mental and emotional energy fussing over either of them.
So, contrary to Al-Anon principles my higher power is me, it is my inner wisdom which I can access when I need to by quieting my mind and emotions and paying attention to what feels right, not what I try to talk myself into believing is right.
So you can get past the higher power thing but it does take some effort.
Your friend,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I also struggled in the begining with the HP concept. I live in a rural, remote area with a large Christian influence.
I have a dog who has a lot of problems. After starting Al-anon I realized that if I as a imperfect human being could love this dog unconditionally (like I do, warts and all), there is probably something bigger than me that loves me that way too.
For now that definition works for me. I am careful to always use HP when I speak, and to take what I like and leave the rest (when it comes to that discussion). For me it has worked, but it took me awhile to get there, in part because of my concerns about the religious piece.
I have a dog who has a lot of problems. After starting Al-anon I realized that if I as a imperfect human being could love this dog unconditionally (like I do, warts and all), there is probably something bigger than me that loves me that way too.
For now that definition works for me. I am careful to always use HP when I speak, and to take what I like and leave the rest (when it comes to that discussion). For me it has worked, but it took me awhile to get there, in part because of my concerns about the religious piece.
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