legal aid
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
legal aid
im sure some of you on here have been through divorces and may have used legal aid
my questions may be a stupid but i dont know anything about divorce or any legal stuff like that, im resceduling my appt. but if i do go through with it what happens if my husband doesnt sign the papers? do i still get a divorce or because he wont sign that means we stay married until he does? Or if they make a court case, since we have a child, and he doesnt show up in court, will i still get divorced and full custody by default cause he didnt show up?
my questions may be a stupid but i dont know anything about divorce or any legal stuff like that, im resceduling my appt. but if i do go through with it what happens if my husband doesnt sign the papers? do i still get a divorce or because he wont sign that means we stay married until he does? Or if they make a court case, since we have a child, and he doesnt show up in court, will i still get divorced and full custody by default cause he didnt show up?
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 46
If he doesn't show up the judge will rule in your favor. He will be able to appeal it and have it opened up again. Is he interested in custody?
A ruling can be forced if he refuses to sign the papers but he would have to go to court to contest the parts he doesn't agree with.
A huge percent of divorce cases settle before going to trial and most judges will force you to work it out (or attempt to force it) before letting a divorce go to trial.
If he's disinterested all together he may just sign what your legal aid lawyer draws up.
Good luck! Divorce is a hard thing but you do bounce back
A ruling can be forced if he refuses to sign the papers but he would have to go to court to contest the parts he doesn't agree with.
A huge percent of divorce cases settle before going to trial and most judges will force you to work it out (or attempt to force it) before letting a divorce go to trial.
If he's disinterested all together he may just sign what your legal aid lawyer draws up.
Good luck! Divorce is a hard thing but you do bounce back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
well hes already asked me not to go through with the divorce and when i said i still would he said well what are they gonna do if i dont sign the papers, i dont think hes interested in getting full custody from me, hes alot of things but i dont think he will try to take my son away from me
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Every state is DIFFERENT to some degree in their divorce laws and proceedings.
Your best bet, is to make a list of your questions, then INTERVIEW several attorneys. Most attorneys give the first 1/2 hour or hour free.
Are you getting a divorce or not? Don't know for sure yet? Well the interviews and answers to your questions should help you in making up your mind.
Doesn't matter what he is QUACKING about. This is about you and your child and what is BEST for the two of you.
Even if you are still on the fence ............................................. you can go ahead and make some appointments to see which attorney would be a 'good fit' for you, and in the process get the answers to those questions, which in turn will help you finalize your decision.
As to whether he signs or not ................................................ as far as I know in most states it doesn't matter, after a certain length of time .............................. one month to 2 years it would be automatically final.
So, please don't change that appointment. Write down your questions and get some answers so you and your child can keep moving forward.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Your best bet, is to make a list of your questions, then INTERVIEW several attorneys. Most attorneys give the first 1/2 hour or hour free.
Are you getting a divorce or not? Don't know for sure yet? Well the interviews and answers to your questions should help you in making up your mind.
Doesn't matter what he is QUACKING about. This is about you and your child and what is BEST for the two of you.
Even if you are still on the fence ............................................. you can go ahead and make some appointments to see which attorney would be a 'good fit' for you, and in the process get the answers to those questions, which in turn will help you finalize your decision.
As to whether he signs or not ................................................ as far as I know in most states it doesn't matter, after a certain length of time .............................. one month to 2 years it would be automatically final.
So, please don't change that appointment. Write down your questions and get some answers so you and your child can keep moving forward.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
I have not made the ultimate decision as to whether or not to go through with it, as i have to use legal aid and if you back out they wont help you, so i know once i start i have to go through it completely, as i do not have the money to pay for a lawyer myself, i priced it before and its like 1200 dollars, which with a baby im not willing to spare if i had it, my biggest concern was if i went through all of it and he refused to sign that it would have just been a waste of my time , i had an appointment for tomorrow (10th) but have rescheduled til the 23rd
im only thinking of me and my son , im fine with where i am in my life and whether or not my husband is in it, my only concern is i dont have time to be wasting and if they wont grant me a divorce if he wont sign then im not gonna bother until he will sign
im ok with where i am with my husband, im giving him a chance to get through rehab and be a father but if he dont its not the end of my life, life still goes on with or without him, but i dont want to get divorced to just get remarried all over again to the same person so im weighing all my options , i do see some effort on his part but thats his business , if he wants to be a father then i wont stand in his way, if he can accept my boundaries then ill go to marriage couseling with him, im open to either way, its been almost a year since he left and im still standing
things are painful still but nothing like before, im ok with everything now, he wanted me to completely cancel the appointment but i didnt do that, in order for me to stay married i want to see some effort on his part to see his son, i spent three months with no contact and him not seeing the baby and i realize theres no point in me keeping him away from the baby, no reason for me to hide from him, he now has my number and address, if i dont want to talk to him i simply dont answer the phone or if i do then i answer, regardless we are connected by our son so i cant really cut all contact anymore, ive come a long way and im going forward not back, but i want to be sure of everything before i go through with the divorce, but now that i know it dont matter if he signs or not then it helps with my choice
im only thinking of me and my son , im fine with where i am in my life and whether or not my husband is in it, my only concern is i dont have time to be wasting and if they wont grant me a divorce if he wont sign then im not gonna bother until he will sign
im ok with where i am with my husband, im giving him a chance to get through rehab and be a father but if he dont its not the end of my life, life still goes on with or without him, but i dont want to get divorced to just get remarried all over again to the same person so im weighing all my options , i do see some effort on his part but thats his business , if he wants to be a father then i wont stand in his way, if he can accept my boundaries then ill go to marriage couseling with him, im open to either way, its been almost a year since he left and im still standing
things are painful still but nothing like before, im ok with everything now, he wanted me to completely cancel the appointment but i didnt do that, in order for me to stay married i want to see some effort on his part to see his son, i spent three months with no contact and him not seeing the baby and i realize theres no point in me keeping him away from the baby, no reason for me to hide from him, he now has my number and address, if i dont want to talk to him i simply dont answer the phone or if i do then i answer, regardless we are connected by our son so i cant really cut all contact anymore, ive come a long way and im going forward not back, but i want to be sure of everything before i go through with the divorce, but now that i know it dont matter if he signs or not then it helps with my choice
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by veryrestless722 
I have not made the ultimate decision as to whether or not to go through with it, as i have to use legal aid and if you back out they wont help you, so i know once i start i have to go through it completely,
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
And one thing that my lawyer pointed out that I did not know, I had discontinued my ex's health insurance when I had him put out for spousal abuse, and my attorney told me later that this was a mistake because if my ex-husband had contracted cancer or some other costly disease prior to the divorce being final, I could have been sued. The hospital could have potentially attached my assets. Thank goodness it didn't happen. But it just goes to show you that we don't know all the ins and outs of the weird legal system.
KJ
KJ
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: florida
Posts: 269
well he was the one with the insurance, we own nothing together, have no money together nothing like that , the only tie left between us is our son, but i definately dont want to be responsible for any kind of bills hes accuired since we've been separated, i do believe i will go to the next appointment, im not forking out any money for anything to do with him
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