onlyliveonce

Hi everyone-

I read everyday on these forums but don't post much. I have learned ALOT in reading here. My H is a crackhead and alcoholic and was living in his van ( which is not registered, tagged or insurance) and just started working at a burger place for $7 per hr. which pissed him off. He has a CDL license but the last driving job he got fired from (in Oct. 2008) and before that he was unemployed for awhile, anyway the ladt job he was fired from was for leaving his rig running and unattended and he went over to the railroad tracks to smoke crack with some man he had just met. The company come and got the truck right then while he sat on the tracks and smoked crack so he was scared (since he had been smoking paranoid and crap) so he proceeded to find the nearest crackhouse in Atlanta and smoke it up the rest of the night. He's an idiot!!!

We have been married for 17 yrs. and have a 14 yr. old son who has no respect for his dad cause he's been so in and out of his life. I really think our son dosen't like his dad. I know I don't. We got married at 18 but he has always been addicted to something or another and currently uses crack and alcohol. He was living at the truckstop in his van and he was caught stealing a beer but the manager was going to judt talk to him but my CH called the police himself wanting to make a report on this man. Anyway he was arrested for the warrant he had out from not going to court when he was arrested at the bar trying to fight. I have distanced myselg from all his crap and when he talks he's just quacking ot lying, you can take that to the bank. He is a very good manipulator and liar. He takes Lexapro for depression and I'm trying to figure out whether it's enabling to call the nurse where he's at and make sure they are aware of that. I don't know if he told them or not cause he has the mentality that the medicine subdues him and makes him a nice person but when he's in jail he does not need the nice mentality. I guess my question is that enabling calling the nurse and letting her know or should I just leave it alone?

I talked to him every couple of days or so he would call to see how we were doing? I've seen him twice (took him Lexapro samples from his dr) since I kicked him to the curb for starting the behaviors I recogonize well as the road to HELL!!!!! I will move forward and leave him to his journey. I have only started this a couple of months ago and I still think about him alot but I know that none of his BS is gonna affect me daily like it had for years. I had hope for many a years for him but these days I don't waste my time wondering what could have been with him cause I know the answer to that: NOTHING!!!!!!!

Anyway he's in jail for the warrant and I guess will go to court next week sometime. He's gonna have to deal with the consequences of his actions. He also has 2 warrant in FL but they are non extritiatable(sp) so unless he's caught in FL he will never take care of that. Anyway I'm getting better day by day and my life dosen't seem so gloomy these days. I will be returning to school in the fall and I'm excited about that. Our son is a know it all 14 yr. old who just goes with the flow but dosen't say much about dad.

I have now gotten it and it feels good!!!! I don't worry about him anbymore cause I can't control what he does (interesting concept, huh)!!!!! And hell I don't want to for that matter. Thanks for letting me vent and post. All encouragement appreciated.

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

Freedom1990

Good for you on returning to school in the fall. I finally decided to complete my college degree last fall, and am in my second semester.

As for telling the nurse about the Lexipro, well he's an adult, isn't he? He can make the decision to tell her or not.

I'm just curious why you are still staying in contact with him since you say you are done with him.

greeteachday

Good to see you posting!! Sounds like you have learned a lot about letting him face the consequences of his actions. I'm sorry you and your son have had to deal with active addiction, but it sounds as if you are both acquiring toools to cope. Hugs

Serenity Bound

Welcome to SR! Sounds like you are using the tools you have learned. Yep, he's an adult, if he choses to use, let the nurse know about his meds, or any other thing, WELL it's up to him.

I'm glad to hear that you are going on with YOUR life.
Hugs,
Chris

outtolunch

This is Radio WBBS and we're playing the hits for all you recovering co-dependents, out there........

"He's in Jail and I feel good" .....da-da-da-da- dum.


Let go. Let God.

kj3880

You sound kinda like a good friend in my recovery network, "Jane." Jane always says that she is "totally done, D-O-N-E done like dinner" with her abf when he is in jail. But he always gets back out and she always takes him back. She leaves a hole in her life for him while he's in jail. She visits, brings him things he needs, writes, accepts collect calls....how is that done???? What are you doing for your recovery?

Love,
KJ

onlyliveonce

He is not living with me and when he is in jail or out of jail I give him nothing. He is homeless living in his van at a truckstop just hustling or whatever. I don't feed him, give him money, nothing! I'm better at sticking by what I say now than I used to be. I do what I can live with and what makes ME comfortable. He's gonna do whatever he wants to do so I don't let that affect me anymore. I have let go!! Some of the things going on with him tugs at my heart but my stance dosen't change no matter how I'm feeling at the moment cause that feeling will pass too and I know that. I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart these days. I talk to him about one or twice a week when he calls to check on son.