The Al-Anon "Pink Cloud"
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
The Al-Anon "Pink Cloud"
My sponsor warned me about this today. She said it happens to a lot of people, they are so "high" when the program finally clicks for them. It's definitely happening to me right now. She says that some people stay with that feeling, but others crash extremely low when "real life" hits them in the face and there is some type of disappointment they weren't expecting.
My brain is just in overdrive with all this information and realization. And I'm pissed because it took me 40 years and countless therapy sessions and wasted time before I "figured this out." Then I think, man I have made such a mess of my life, especially in the last 3 years, what if it's too late to turn things around? It's like somebody gave me the answer book for the big test--too much info at once--brain overload.
I know, take a deep breath (hee hee).
My brain is just in overdrive with all this information and realization. And I'm pissed because it took me 40 years and countless therapy sessions and wasted time before I "figured this out." Then I think, man I have made such a mess of my life, especially in the last 3 years, what if it's too late to turn things around? It's like somebody gave me the answer book for the big test--too much info at once--brain overload.
I know, take a deep breath (hee hee).
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
It is never too late, we are always learning and will keep on making mistakes.
But at least they will be DIFFERENT mistakes!! Not the same mistake over and over again
Keep working on you, you are doing GREAT
But at least they will be DIFFERENT mistakes!! Not the same mistake over and over again
Keep working on you, you are doing GREAT
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Oh honey, I made the same ones over and over and OVER. I would rationalize to myself that it was different, I'd dress it up in different clothes etc but I crashed into that same wall quite a few times before I started to see the pattern and realize that the common denominator in all those toxic relationships was ME.
That's one of the reasons they say to keep going to meetings. I have been going for over 14 years and I dont think I'll stop anytime soon. I get what I need in those rooms... those people know what my life was like, and they keep me accountable for my decisions today. It doesnt matter what meeting I go to, I am among friends who understand. They help me keep my tools polished and ready for the next time I'm going to need them. Because in MY world, it's not "if" I need them... it's a matter of when.
There is always someone or something over which I am powerless, he or she just isn't doing what I think he needs to do!
That's one of the reasons they say to keep going to meetings. I have been going for over 14 years and I dont think I'll stop anytime soon. I get what I need in those rooms... those people know what my life was like, and they keep me accountable for my decisions today. It doesnt matter what meeting I go to, I am among friends who understand. They help me keep my tools polished and ready for the next time I'm going to need them. Because in MY world, it's not "if" I need them... it's a matter of when.
There is always someone or something over which I am powerless, he or she just isn't doing what I think he needs to do!
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Honey, you are human. You make mistakes. We ALL do! It what we do when we recognize those mistakes that really matters. You are taking very definite steps to improve your life! Congratulate yourself on coming out of the fog and deading with reality! Way too many never manage to do what you are doing. :ghug3
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
Thanks, I know...I'm a spaz (lol).
I realize that 40 years of anxiety is not going to disappear in one day no matter how hard I wish it would.
It's like I want to shout to the world what I have "discovered," but my brain is still trying to sort it all out, and I'm sure I would sound bizarre
I realize that 40 years of anxiety is not going to disappear in one day no matter how hard I wish it would.
It's like I want to shout to the world what I have "discovered," but my brain is still trying to sort it all out, and I'm sure I would sound bizarre
Getting to my HAPPY PLACE!
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 298
Glenna - good for you! 
Anvil:
Thank you for that...I needed it.
Anvil:
we are here, now, alive and in the moment......our lives have been handed back to us, for today we are capable of doing wonderful things and have learned to savor the sweet simple moments, appreciate each day, each challenge, each opportunity to do our very best and leave nothing behind.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
I read this in Courage to Change today, and it goes along with some of what Anvilhead wrote...
"This day is a beautiful room that's never been seen before. Let me cherish the seconds, minutes and hours I spend here."
It would help me to keep that in mind
"This day is a beautiful room that's never been seen before. Let me cherish the seconds, minutes and hours I spend here."
It would help me to keep that in mind
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
I went to ACOA meetings for a long time. They really helped me but I didn't learn much because I constantly went right back into the stress.
Sometimes it does take 40 years to finally get it. And just in time to enjoy a good retirement without having to be the enabler, the controller and the helper! Who wants to be OLD and have to deal with that kind of stress when we have had the ability to stop it all along?
Ah, when it clicks, it's magic!!
Sometimes it does take 40 years to finally get it. And just in time to enjoy a good retirement without having to be the enabler, the controller and the helper! Who wants to be OLD and have to deal with that kind of stress when we have had the ability to stop it all along?
Ah, when it clicks, it's magic!!
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Georgia
Posts: 341
Well, it took me 45 years and I look at it this way. Better to get in and work on things NOW and change and stick with it then to waste ANOTHER 45 years (if I'm around that long) stuck in the same pattern I was before.
Frankly, it's never to late to do something good for yourself!:ghug
Frankly, it's never to late to do something good for yourself!:ghug
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Thanks for your post Glenna.
I've never heard of it in relation to Al-Anon, but I have read some stuff on it in relation to alcoholism/addiction.
Have to say I'm on the lookout for it. I have some moments of reprieve from the struggles of being in early recovery but (crosses fingers) not as yet had any belief that I hold the keys or believe in myself more than the process. I read somewhere that is where the seeds for relapse are planted and so I'm trying to be careful to spot any signs of that.
But it is exciting when some (if not all) pieces of the puzzle start falling into place.
I've never heard of it in relation to Al-Anon, but I have read some stuff on it in relation to alcoholism/addiction.
Have to say I'm on the lookout for it. I have some moments of reprieve from the struggles of being in early recovery but (crosses fingers) not as yet had any belief that I hold the keys or believe in myself more than the process. I read somewhere that is where the seeds for relapse are planted and so I'm trying to be careful to spot any signs of that.
But it is exciting when some (if not all) pieces of the puzzle start falling into place.
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