Feeling Alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 8
Feeling Alone.
I have a daughter in Rehab. and a husband who is a practicing alcoholic. Drinks every night. Denial saying he doesn't have a problem.
I am having breast surgery on Thursday, 8/14. Results on Friday. On Monday, we were supposed to go to his 50th. class reunion. Surgeon has already said she would prefer I didn't travel. He wants to go witout me and thats ok, except I have nobody or a car here for 3 days while he is gone. Friends stopped coming around for 2 years because of daughter being here. I know the reunion will just be another excuse for him to get drunk so, I don't want to go.
Should I go against doctor's wishes since she wouldn't want me to be here alone either or just take the chance of traveling anyway. I would feel guilty if he had to miss this, although he has left me for 13 years on Christmas to be with his family.
Surgery is almost 6 mo. overdue, due to doctor here losing paper work. I am concerned.
Thanks for any advice you may have.
I am having breast surgery on Thursday, 8/14. Results on Friday. On Monday, we were supposed to go to his 50th. class reunion. Surgeon has already said she would prefer I didn't travel. He wants to go witout me and thats ok, except I have nobody or a car here for 3 days while he is gone. Friends stopped coming around for 2 years because of daughter being here. I know the reunion will just be another excuse for him to get drunk so, I don't want to go.
Should I go against doctor's wishes since she wouldn't want me to be here alone either or just take the chance of traveling anyway. I would feel guilty if he had to miss this, although he has left me for 13 years on Christmas to be with his family.
Surgery is almost 6 mo. overdue, due to doctor here losing paper work. I am concerned.
Thanks for any advice you may have.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 407
Galemarie -
I think that you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. We have only one car at the moment and my husband had to go out of town for a few days. I just stocked up on everything that I thought I might need before he left and enjoyed the time by myself. If you should have an emergency, ask a neighbor to drive you or call a cab. I hope all goes well with your surgery. Who knows, you might really enjoy the peace and quiet for those three days. Whatever you decide, just take care of yourself.
Jo
PS: If you stay home, you can spend some time with your friends here on this site!!!!!
I think that you should do whatever you feel most comfortable with. We have only one car at the moment and my husband had to go out of town for a few days. I just stocked up on everything that I thought I might need before he left and enjoyed the time by myself. If you should have an emergency, ask a neighbor to drive you or call a cab. I hope all goes well with your surgery. Who knows, you might really enjoy the peace and quiet for those three days. Whatever you decide, just take care of yourself.
Jo
PS: If you stay home, you can spend some time with your friends here on this site!!!!!
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
I also say follow doctor's order. You never know what might happen and you need to be in a safe place in case of emergency. Not being pessimistic here, just realistic.
Like jojo said, if there were to be an emergency, you could call someone or cab. If you go with him and he's drunk, how good of care would he take of you?
You take care of YOU first. And that's an order from Dr. Hangin' In!...
I'll be praying that all will go well with the surgery. Enjoy the peace and quiet of being home alone to recuperate. I know surgery doesn't sound fun, but not having to deal with your A should be a relief.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Like jojo said, if there were to be an emergency, you could call someone or cab. If you go with him and he's drunk, how good of care would he take of you?
You take care of YOU first. And that's an order from Dr. Hangin' In!...
I'll be praying that all will go well with the surgery. Enjoy the peace and quiet of being home alone to recuperate. I know surgery doesn't sound fun, but not having to deal with your A should be a relief.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
galemarie
I agree with Dr. Hangin' here. YOUR health comes first. The heck with him and his plans. You just take extra good care of yourself and enjoy the peace and quiet.
I'm sending special prayers that the surgery goes well for you and
that you can heal in peace. Just know that we care and are here for you anytime you want to talk about this. And we'll all be holding your hand all the way. I'll be sending one of my special Guardian Angels to watch over you too.
Hugs
Ann
I agree with Dr. Hangin' here. YOUR health comes first. The heck with him and his plans. You just take extra good care of yourself and enjoy the peace and quiet.
I'm sending special prayers that the surgery goes well for you and
that you can heal in peace. Just know that we care and are here for you anytime you want to talk about this. And we'll all be holding your hand all the way. I'll be sending one of my special Guardian Angels to watch over you too.
Hugs
Ann
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
I'm going to sound like an echo. You need to take care of yourself the way the doctor tells you to. And being on a trip with someone who is partying is not going to get you looked after and taken care of. Make sure you have all the emergency numbers you need, the house stocked and the number of a reliable cab service.
Hugs,
Smoke
Hugs,
Smoke
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
I'm so sorry that you have to deal
with this surgery all by yourself. I cry foul and unfair on that. No one should have to go through something like that all by themself. You are in my prayers and I hope that everything goes well with your surgery and that you heal quickly. You need an Angel. I'm going to talk to Heaven about this.
Big hugs to you galemarie.
Peace,
Gabe
Big hugs to you galemarie.
Peace,
Gabe
No More Mrs. Nice Guy
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 724
Galemarie:
I agree. You should listen to the DR and take care of you. Is there anyone you could call, an old friend, family etc? Perhaps they will be there for you. WE darn sure will. All of us will be with you in spirit, holding you up and hovering about the doctors & nurses while you're having your surgery. I bet they comment on the strength and support they feel eminating all around you
HUGS
O59
I agree. You should listen to the DR and take care of you. Is there anyone you could call, an old friend, family etc? Perhaps they will be there for you. WE darn sure will. All of us will be with you in spirit, holding you up and hovering about the doctors & nurses while you're having your surgery. I bet they comment on the strength and support they feel eminating all around you
HUGS
O59
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Galemarie,
Everyone seems to have agreed on the subjuct, but I just wanted to send some more ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to you. In addition to the stocking what you will need physically, rent some movies too. They are great for relaxing the mental state. Relax and recover!
Blessings, Constant
Everyone seems to have agreed on the subjuct, but I just wanted to send some more ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) to you. In addition to the stocking what you will need physically, rent some movies too. They are great for relaxing the mental state. Relax and recover!
Blessings, Constant
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Northern California
Posts: 8
Feeling Alone
Thank you friends for all of your kind words. I will be ok here. He will be leaving on Monday morning and will be back on Wednesday. By then, I will be feeling better and am realizing, being alone here may be a good rest for me. I cannot believe how many friendly people have replied to my message. I will be spending more time here.
I am trying to feel positive about the surgery tomorrow so I will appreciate prayers from anyone as due to a paperwork loss, I am 6 months overdue for this surgery. I only found out about this 10 days ago. Of course my surgeon is livid about this terrible mistake but, I figure everything happens for a reason.
I am in good hands as I have a great surgeon who is known as a "doctors doctor". Her specialty is breast and ovarian cancer. I am not even believing it will be cancer. I think it is benign and want to keep on believing it. I will know the lab results on Friday.
There is a problem with my daughter in rehab however, the counselor has reassured me, not to worry. She is in a wonderful place but I feel so sorry for the staff that they have to put up with the abuse I had for 2 years when she was living here.
I am so grateful for the staff there. There are no words that could express my gratitude and feelings I have for them.
My daughter is so spoiled and I accept all the blame for this. Everything was handed to her and I am now realizing what a terrible mistake I made.
God Bless You all for caring enough, to take the time and post for me..just a a stranger.
Love and Blessings.
I am trying to feel positive about the surgery tomorrow so I will appreciate prayers from anyone as due to a paperwork loss, I am 6 months overdue for this surgery. I only found out about this 10 days ago. Of course my surgeon is livid about this terrible mistake but, I figure everything happens for a reason.
I am in good hands as I have a great surgeon who is known as a "doctors doctor". Her specialty is breast and ovarian cancer. I am not even believing it will be cancer. I think it is benign and want to keep on believing it. I will know the lab results on Friday.
There is a problem with my daughter in rehab however, the counselor has reassured me, not to worry. She is in a wonderful place but I feel so sorry for the staff that they have to put up with the abuse I had for 2 years when she was living here.
I am so grateful for the staff there. There are no words that could express my gratitude and feelings I have for them.
My daughter is so spoiled and I accept all the blame for this. Everything was handed to her and I am now realizing what a terrible mistake I made.
God Bless You all for caring enough, to take the time and post for me..just a a stranger.
Love and Blessings.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Galemarie,
DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR!!!!!!!!!! Honey child, you are NO stranger here. Heck, you are ONE OF US! There are no strangers on this board once you share your story...
I'm sorry to hear about the trouble with your daughter in rehab. When you said she is spoiled, boy, could I identify. After we spent 'famiy week' with our daughter in rehab I had the family counselor tell me that our daughter is spoiled. WHAT? How dare she say that! I AM the only one allowed to say that!!!....
Well, we both agreed that she is spoiled and I was told to quit treating her like she is the center of the universe. Yep, those rehab folks put it to me pretty plainly. But like you said, your daughter is in a good place and think of it this way, Galemarie. Just be glad THEY are the ones having to deal with her now. You've had your turn. It's their turn now.
I will be specifically praying for you as you have your surgery. And I'll be praying for good results from the lab tests. And I'll throw in some extra prayers for both your spoiled brat and mine (and you know I say that with love.... )
Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR!!!!!!!!!! Honey child, you are NO stranger here. Heck, you are ONE OF US! There are no strangers on this board once you share your story...
I'm sorry to hear about the trouble with your daughter in rehab. When you said she is spoiled, boy, could I identify. After we spent 'famiy week' with our daughter in rehab I had the family counselor tell me that our daughter is spoiled. WHAT? How dare she say that! I AM the only one allowed to say that!!!....
Well, we both agreed that she is spoiled and I was told to quit treating her like she is the center of the universe. Yep, those rehab folks put it to me pretty plainly. But like you said, your daughter is in a good place and think of it this way, Galemarie. Just be glad THEY are the ones having to deal with her now. You've had your turn. It's their turn now. I will be specifically praying for you as you have your surgery. And I'll be praying for good results from the lab tests. And I'll throw in some extra prayers for both your spoiled brat and mine (and you know I say that with love....
)Keep us posted.
Hugs,
Hangin' In
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