1 + 1 = 2
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
1 + 1 = 2
After spending 2 weeks without my guy and being in my own space has me wanting to keep this feeling of staying in my own box and leaving him in his own.
In the 0 8 0 pattern, the 0, my circle is where I have been. Tomorrow night, I will be re-introduced to the 8.
My desire is to continue staying in the above pattern and not wind up intertwined or the "0 8 0" intermingled - to the point that it all gets blurry and the "crazy making" rules the relationship.
I am going to do this by:
Keeping the focus on me.
Not taking it personally.
Fake it til' I make it - (like I did when I was unsure with how I was going to be while being on my own)
Be in tune with my wants, desires, needs, and rely on myself to fill my own holes.
Working the 4th step.
.................................................. ............
It's been a really nice 2 weeks, but I can't help to wonder if it's because *he* was making me feel secure because I had no worries with *him* .... OR if it was because I'm working strong on my recovery?
I faked it til' I made it - forcing my mind to stop wandering and staying focused on myself and what I was up to. Refreshing, is the word I am looking for.
Now, that he is coming back, I want to bring this self-worth to the relationship... and keep strong. Being loving, kind, and yielding, in a balance, without sabotaging or losing myself.
Journaling will also be good.
BTW - I read a few of my old journals from high school...... Drama with a capitol D. And I remember when I was going through it - I was aware and shaking my head thinking... just STOP.... or ... being aware of what I was challenging. It wasn't that I made the drama- I just challenged a lot of people's energy - to really understand them. Having compassion - that if they knew they were hurting someone - surely they would stop. Never mind - that I would just leave the situation! Or work on myself, and not take things so personal. (yep - I'd give myself that "self talk", even then!)
SO TRUE!!!!!
Peace and love xoxo
In the 0 8 0 pattern, the 0, my circle is where I have been. Tomorrow night, I will be re-introduced to the 8.
My desire is to continue staying in the above pattern and not wind up intertwined or the "0 8 0" intermingled - to the point that it all gets blurry and the "crazy making" rules the relationship.
I am going to do this by:
Keeping the focus on me.
Not taking it personally.
Fake it til' I make it - (like I did when I was unsure with how I was going to be while being on my own)
Be in tune with my wants, desires, needs, and rely on myself to fill my own holes.
Working the 4th step.
.................................................. ............
It's been a really nice 2 weeks, but I can't help to wonder if it's because *he* was making me feel secure because I had no worries with *him* .... OR if it was because I'm working strong on my recovery?
I faked it til' I made it - forcing my mind to stop wandering and staying focused on myself and what I was up to. Refreshing, is the word I am looking for.
Now, that he is coming back, I want to bring this self-worth to the relationship... and keep strong. Being loving, kind, and yielding, in a balance, without sabotaging or losing myself.
Journaling will also be good.
BTW - I read a few of my old journals from high school...... Drama with a capitol D. And I remember when I was going through it - I was aware and shaking my head thinking... just STOP.... or ... being aware of what I was challenging. It wasn't that I made the drama- I just challenged a lot of people's energy - to really understand them. Having compassion - that if they knew they were hurting someone - surely they would stop. Never mind - that I would just leave the situation! Or work on myself, and not take things so personal. (yep - I'd give myself that "self talk", even then!)
Originally Posted by Chino 
Just like an addict, our disorder WILL come back if let untreated.
SO TRUE!!!!!
Peace and love xoxo
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
One more thing....... focus on my own health! Join this gym that is walking distance from my house! Make change ..... but change that will benefit me and in turn benefit the relationship..... all of my relationships!
What a concept!!!!
What a concept!!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It is often difficult to not let what is in front of us, disturb us. It helps me to mentally accept what is good and park what is not good to deal with at a time I am calm and can think it through.
It helps to take walks too, just to reclaim my own space for a short time.
You have a good attitude, just hang on to that and remember this good feeling in days that are ahead.
Hugs
It helps to take walks too, just to reclaim my own space for a short time.
You have a good attitude, just hang on to that and remember this good feeling in days that are ahead.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I've made a commitment that I'll not ever go back "there" and I haven't and I won't. Good for you and welcome to the other side! Hold tight to yourself because there will always be times you are tested. It may be your husband or other people, circumstances. When that happens to me, I remember really fast "before" and "after". Like Ann, if I can't find my center right away, I step away so I can. There's a voice inside me always ready to scream "FREEDOM!!!" and I will not silence it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
LOL Anvil! 
1 + 1 = 2 ....... symbolizes meaning a interdependent relationship.... so you were right on to begin with. But like your 2nd analogy!
0 8 0
0 = abs circle
8 = "our" circle - relationship
0 = abf
1 + 1 = 2 ....... symbolizes meaning a interdependent relationship.... so you were right on to begin with. But like your 2nd analogy!
0 8 0
0 = abs circle
8 = "our" circle - relationship
0 = abf
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