Do I beling here ? ?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 49
Do I beling here ? ?
Hi Everyone! I wanted to ask for some feedback on my situation and if this is not the proper forum my apologies. I am 39, married. My wife and I have a stressful marriage in the fact that she is back east and I am in CA. We lost our tenants and given the economy can't sell, and we can't quit our jobs that pay very well.
Living like a bachelor, I go to the bars and have some beers with my pals during the week. Rarely will I have more than 2, but I will sometimes have a few more drinks when I get home. Its the weekends that are becoming the issue.
This past weekend I had to cancel all of my activities cuz I was feeling too poorly to participate. I was drinking vodka and red bull on Friday night by myself and playing some games, I fell asleep and then got up again and had some more about midnight. I did the same thing pretty much on Saturday and Sunday. By Monday, I felt so horrible that I scared myself. Its the not stopping on Sunday when it would be prudent. I was drinking fairly potent beers.
I am lonely and miss the normalcy of life. My wife is not a partier and doesn't like when I drink alone and play games. I am very successful, coach a tennis team, don't drink and drive, but not stopping when I start scares me. I did a lot harder partying in college and quit all that years ago and even quit smoking.
I am highly regarded by friends and family, but since my wife moving back East, I have retreated into a fairly solitary life. I cancel my tennis practice more than I have had it lately. I wake up at night with songs running through my head that I cannot stop, at least mostly their the Grateful Dead. Last night it was "Ramble on Rose".
I have been on antidepressants for some time but not sure if they are doing anything.
Well, thanks for the long read and I welcome your comments!
Jerry Bear
Living like a bachelor, I go to the bars and have some beers with my pals during the week. Rarely will I have more than 2, but I will sometimes have a few more drinks when I get home. Its the weekends that are becoming the issue.
This past weekend I had to cancel all of my activities cuz I was feeling too poorly to participate. I was drinking vodka and red bull on Friday night by myself and playing some games, I fell asleep and then got up again and had some more about midnight. I did the same thing pretty much on Saturday and Sunday. By Monday, I felt so horrible that I scared myself. Its the not stopping on Sunday when it would be prudent. I was drinking fairly potent beers.
I am lonely and miss the normalcy of life. My wife is not a partier and doesn't like when I drink alone and play games. I am very successful, coach a tennis team, don't drink and drive, but not stopping when I start scares me. I did a lot harder partying in college and quit all that years ago and even quit smoking.
I am highly regarded by friends and family, but since my wife moving back East, I have retreated into a fairly solitary life. I cancel my tennis practice more than I have had it lately. I wake up at night with songs running through my head that I cannot stop, at least mostly their the Grateful Dead. Last night it was "Ramble on Rose".
I have been on antidepressants for some time but not sure if they are doing anything.
Well, thanks for the long read and I welcome your comments!
Jerry Bear
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
First of all Welcome to Sr and I am sure there will be more along to welcome you to our threads, take it one second at a time being seperated from your spouse is hard no matter what and then being coasts apart must be hard as well......take your time and if you do believe this is seriously becomming a problem, especially with you taking antidepressants( they have been known to kill people when mixed so IMHO I wouldnt suggest doing it again) I would talk with someone your dr, a therapist or even an AA meeting.......more importantly, just take care of you.......good luck
Pamm
Pamm
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Course you belong here, if you want to! Welcome to SR, read and post and make friends!
I found my drinking increased when my husband started working a lot more hours, I was alone a lot more often, and though we drank together, I found I was filling lonely time with more and more drinking. I can't imagine how hard it is to be so far away from your lady! A lot of people come and hang out in chat or on the boards here instead of drinking, to connect with other people trying the same thing.. maybe it will be a nice change for you, until you figure out the rest
I found my drinking increased when my husband started working a lot more hours, I was alone a lot more often, and though we drank together, I found I was filling lonely time with more and more drinking. I can't imagine how hard it is to be so far away from your lady! A lot of people come and hang out in chat or on the boards here instead of drinking, to connect with other people trying the same thing.. maybe it will be a nice change for you, until you figure out the rest
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 49
Thanks everyone for their well wishes! If feels weird not to be able to go to the bar and have an IPA. I think I am going to take some time off, chat with you good people, and attend a meeting or 2 to see if the stories sound familiar. I just can't believe how guilty, tired, and ashamed I feel every Monday with a hangover after too much. I know 3 days in a row is a lot and I am getting older, but one would think I would be able to stop the insanity (as being defined by doing the same thing while expecting a different result). Thanks again and I look forward to hangin out with you all!
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Hey JBear,
Welcome. If you think you have a problem then you do belong here. You will find that many of us drink and then can't stop. Can't put down the bottle, hangovers, missing work and the whole 9 yards. I started drinking tons after my son left for college. Got major depressed. My hubby travels all week and I am alone all week with my two dogs. It seems like once I start drinking I can't stop. Probably because there is no one or nothing to stop me. I have taken a few months off work and what a mistake that was.
If you think you have a problem with drinking than you probably do. Please stay sober. You can do it. Sometimes you have to take it one hour or even one minute at a time. You deserve a happy, healthy lifestyle. Once all the lying and deceit is gone, the weight on your shoulders will come off and you will feel so much more alive. Big Hugs.
Read about alcoholism. "Under the Influence"..."The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure"..."Beyond the Influence". These books are really helpful and will give you an understanding of what is going on in your mind and body. I bought all of these books on ebay for just a few bucks each but you can find them in any bookstore. It is amazing how different you feel about alcohol when you find out how it affects your body.
Welcome. If you think you have a problem then you do belong here. You will find that many of us drink and then can't stop. Can't put down the bottle, hangovers, missing work and the whole 9 yards. I started drinking tons after my son left for college. Got major depressed. My hubby travels all week and I am alone all week with my two dogs. It seems like once I start drinking I can't stop. Probably because there is no one or nothing to stop me. I have taken a few months off work and what a mistake that was.
If you think you have a problem with drinking than you probably do. Please stay sober. You can do it. Sometimes you have to take it one hour or even one minute at a time. You deserve a happy, healthy lifestyle. Once all the lying and deceit is gone, the weight on your shoulders will come off and you will feel so much more alive. Big Hugs.
Read about alcoholism. "Under the Influence"..."The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure"..."Beyond the Influence". These books are really helpful and will give you an understanding of what is going on in your mind and body. I bought all of these books on ebay for just a few bucks each but you can find them in any bookstore. It is amazing how different you feel about alcohol when you find out how it affects your body.
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Here's how alcoholism typically progresses:
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
SOCIAL DRINKERS — Most Americans are characterized as social drinkers. Statistics indicate, however, that one of every 16 drinkers will become alcoholic.
WARNING SIGNS — The individual begins to drink more frequently and more than his associates. He drinks for confidence or to tolerate or escape problems. No party or other occasion is complete without a couple of drinks.
EARLY ALCOHOLISM — With increasing frequency, the individual drinks too much. "Blackouts," or temporary amnesia, occur during or following drinking episodes. He drinks more rapidly than others, sneaks drinks and in other ways conceals the quantity that he drinks. He resents any reference to his drinking habits.
BASIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual begins to lose control as to the time, place and amount of his drinking. He gets drunk unintentionally. He hides and protects his liquor supply. He drinks to overcome the hangover from his prior drinking. He tries new patterns of drinking as to time and place of drinking. He attempts cures by moving to new locations or by changing his drinking companions.
CHRONIC ALCOHOLISM — The individual becomes a loner in his drinking. He develops alibis, excuses and rationalizations to cover up or explain his drinking. Personality and behavior changes occur that affect all relationships — family, employment, community. Extended binges, physical tremors, hallucinations and delirium, complete rejection of social reality, malnutrition with accompanying illness and disease and early death all occur as chronic alcoholism progresses.
Source: American Medical Association
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
Welcome to the family!:ghug3 If you think you have a problem, you probably do. Read out stories, post when you need to vent, ask for advice and experience. I'm glad you found us and joined the family!
Anti depressants won't work as well when you're drinking. Not drinking will give the anti d's a chance to work properly.
Anti depressants won't work as well when you're drinking. Not drinking will give the anti d's a chance to work properly.
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