My Story so far
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ireland
Posts: 7
My Story so far
Hello everyone, I'm a newbie. Well I'll start from where it all started going wrong. Im 26 now. At the age of 14 i began drinking at the weekends, vodka, beer anything at all. Had some good times, started smoking then while drinking, soon began smoking hash at the age of 16. I smoked hash for about 5 years everyday all day as well as doing lots of ecstacy at the weekends. I had some brilliant times but am feeling the bad effects now. At the age of 18-19 I started having anxiety attacks but I didn't give up smoking hash for another 3 years or so. Then one day, I couldn't phsically smoke it anymore without feeling very anxious. I knocked the hash on the head when i was about 20 but continued taking ecstacy at the weekends as i absolutely loved them and the buzz from them. i also love dance music. I knew what i was doing wasn't helping me but i was just managing to get by, balancing my medication and ecstasy. Then in 2003 I started to take cocaine very heavily untill just a few weeks back when I tried to give up everything.
I had some really scary experiences on drugs, one time on a cocktail of drink, hash, E and coke, I took a major panic attack at a house party, nobody could calm me down, i couldn't control my body, it was as if i was taking fits. I ended up in hospital and had to be knocked out to stop me from going crazy. I really felt that was the end for me that day. Very traumatic event. I had to go to counselling for along time after that, got my life back on track again, but start taking the cocaine again.
On new years eve just gone, I was out in town, myself and a friend had a bag of coke for the evening, at the time i was doing well trying to come of my medication. After a few drinks I did one line, and took a major panic attack. After that I said i wouldn't touch anything again.
Well things were going well untill last night, I had been clean from drugs for 7 weeks and feeling pretty good. But bumped into and old mate in the pub who had a bag, and me foolishy did a line from it, thinking i was better again and nothing would go wrong. Well you guessed it, another bad panic attack and straight home for to take loads of tablets to calm me down.
I promise myself now I'm not touching it anymore. It's so difficult as my life is surrounded by drugs plus I dj and love dance music and always will. It's a tough one,but its just not worth doing the drugs anymore.
So its day 1 of recovery:praying
I had some really scary experiences on drugs, one time on a cocktail of drink, hash, E and coke, I took a major panic attack at a house party, nobody could calm me down, i couldn't control my body, it was as if i was taking fits. I ended up in hospital and had to be knocked out to stop me from going crazy. I really felt that was the end for me that day. Very traumatic event. I had to go to counselling for along time after that, got my life back on track again, but start taking the cocaine again.
On new years eve just gone, I was out in town, myself and a friend had a bag of coke for the evening, at the time i was doing well trying to come of my medication. After a few drinks I did one line, and took a major panic attack. After that I said i wouldn't touch anything again.
Well things were going well untill last night, I had been clean from drugs for 7 weeks and feeling pretty good. But bumped into and old mate in the pub who had a bag, and me foolishy did a line from it, thinking i was better again and nothing would go wrong. Well you guessed it, another bad panic attack and straight home for to take loads of tablets to calm me down.
I promise myself now I'm not touching it anymore. It's so difficult as my life is surrounded by drugs plus I dj and love dance music and always will. It's a tough one,but its just not worth doing the drugs anymore.
So its day 1 of recovery:praying
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by LennyandCarl 
Hello everyone, I'm a newbie. Well I'll start from where it all started going wrong. Im 26 now. At the age of 14 i began drinking at the weekends, vodka, beer anything at all. Had some good times, started smoking then while drinking, soon began smoking hash at the age of 16. I smoked hash for about 5 years everyday all day as well as doing lots of ecstacy at the weekends. I had some brilliant times but am feeling the bad effects now. At the age of 18-19 I started having anxiety attacks but I didn't give up smoking hash for another 3 years or so. Then one day, I couldn't phsically smoke it anymore without feeling very anxious. I knocked the hash on the head when i was about 20 but continued taking ecstacy at the weekends as i absolutely loved them and the buzz from them. i also love dance music. I knew what i was doing wasn't helping me but i was just managing to get by, balancing my medication and ecstasy. Then in 2003 I started to take cocaine very heavily untill just a few weeks back when I tried to give up everything.
I had some really scary experiences on drugs, one time on a cocktail of drink, hash, E and coke, I took a major panic attack at a house party, nobody could calm me down, i couldn't control my body, it was as if i was taking fits. I ended up in hospital and had to be knocked out to stop me from going crazy. I really felt that was the end for me that day. Very traumatic event. I had to go to counselling for along time after that, got my life back on track again, but start taking the cocaine again.
On new years eve just gone, I was out in town, myself and a friend had a bag of coke for the evening, at the time i was doing well trying to come of my medication. After a few drinks I did one line, and took a major panic attack. After that I said i wouldn't touch anything again.
Well things were going well untill last night, I had been clean from drugs for 7 weeks and feeling pretty good. But bumped into and old mate in the pub who had a bag, and me foolishy did a line from it, thinking i was better again and nothing would go wrong. Well you guessed it, another bad panic attack and straight home for to take loads of tablets to calm me down.
I promise myself now I'm not touching it anymore. It's so difficult as my life is surrounded by drugs plus I dj and love dance music and always will. It's a tough one,but its just not worth doing the drugs anymore.
So its day 1 of recovery:praying
I had some really scary experiences on drugs, one time on a cocktail of drink, hash, E and coke, I took a major panic attack at a house party, nobody could calm me down, i couldn't control my body, it was as if i was taking fits. I ended up in hospital and had to be knocked out to stop me from going crazy. I really felt that was the end for me that day. Very traumatic event. I had to go to counselling for along time after that, got my life back on track again, but start taking the cocaine again.
On new years eve just gone, I was out in town, myself and a friend had a bag of coke for the evening, at the time i was doing well trying to come of my medication. After a few drinks I did one line, and took a major panic attack. After that I said i wouldn't touch anything again.
Well things were going well untill last night, I had been clean from drugs for 7 weeks and feeling pretty good. But bumped into and old mate in the pub who had a bag, and me foolishy did a line from it, thinking i was better again and nothing would go wrong. Well you guessed it, another bad panic attack and straight home for to take loads of tablets to calm me down.
I promise myself now I'm not touching it anymore. It's so difficult as my life is surrounded by drugs plus I dj and love dance music and always will. It's a tough one,but its just not worth doing the drugs anymore.
So its day 1 of recovery:praying
Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
hi and welcome to you...
i too had a very scary moment experimenting with drugs at the age of 15.
So i turned around and hammered the booze till it nearly killed me...
I lost most things that mattered and still continued to drink...
That proves to me that it isnt about the substance........its about me.
I enjoyed your post and look foward to future posts.
Trucker.
i too had a very scary moment experimenting with drugs at the age of 15.
So i turned around and hammered the booze till it nearly killed me...
I lost most things that mattered and still continued to drink...
That proves to me that it isnt about the substance........its about me.
I enjoyed your post and look foward to future posts.
Trucker.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 26
Hearing your thoughts on anxiety/panic
Thanks for your share.
I personally appreciate the bit you wrote about anxiety. "Panic attacks," or anxiety, are not really about being anxious for me. They are much more severe as you describe.
For me, they are (dang, had to change that to present tense again) a scary mixture of loss of control of my body and spirit, but even more concrete than that.
Thanks again for helping.
I personally appreciate the bit you wrote about anxiety. "Panic attacks," or anxiety, are not really about being anxious for me. They are much more severe as you describe.
For me, they are (dang, had to change that to present tense again) a scary mixture of loss of control of my body and spirit, but even more concrete than that.
Thanks again for helping.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
