Alcohol and pot addiction
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 3
Alcohol and pot addiction
Hi everyone
I'm a newbie and haven't posted in a while, perhaps partly because I don't really want to face the reality of my situation. Since I posted just over a year ago it's gotten worse. My husband of 21 years has been smoking pot since he was 14. He's 47 now and smokes daily. He also seems to struggle with alcohol addiction. He doesn't drink everyday but when he does, often drinks to the point of obnoxiousness. He has promised to give up the booze many times, usually after an embarrassing episode but, usual story, it never happens.
In the past year or so, he has had many episodes of strange behaviour. He rants and raves about little things, hates the world and everything in it, thinks everyone is out to get him, and talks about suicide. At my insistence he has gone to the doc and is now on antidepressants. They seem to be useless. We have grown apart. I have trouble handling his behaviour and he accuses me of showing him no love. It's a vicious cycle.
Last week I thought he hit rock bottom. He had a job to get out quickly and was spending a lot of time at his work factory (he is self employed). To keep going he was drinking heavily and smoking pot (as always). He ended up having one of his episodes in front of some work colleagues. I picked him up from work and he really lost it here at home. At one stage he was in a fetal position on the floor screaming. I was worried and upset and spoke to some of my family members. The next day I said I had had enough and would have to move out. He promised to go to the Alc/drug centre and get help. I said I would give him another chance. He has since contacted them by phone but not yet made an appointment. He seemed to have slowed down his smoking and drinking this past week. Tonight he had another 'episode'. Accused me of having an affair (I'm not), that everyone in my family hates him (they don't), that I don't give him any affection (He's right there, I have been so upset with his behaviour), that I don't love him (he's wrong) and that he feels like driving into a tree. He took his car keys and said he would either do that or go to work as I didn't want him around. He's wrong but there was no stopping him.
I worry that one day he will act on his threats to suicide. I worry about the future. I don't want to leave him. I suspect he has some sort of long term marijuana use psychosis when he has these episodes. Does anyone have any experience with this type of thing?
I'm sorry about this huge long-winded post.
Wanted to add, I have tried to get some sort of help from his family but he is very good at minimising the situation and making me sound like a drama queen. Actually, noy sure what I was expecting from them anyway...maybe a miracle. I feel so alone in this.
I'm a newbie and haven't posted in a while, perhaps partly because I don't really want to face the reality of my situation. Since I posted just over a year ago it's gotten worse. My husband of 21 years has been smoking pot since he was 14. He's 47 now and smokes daily. He also seems to struggle with alcohol addiction. He doesn't drink everyday but when he does, often drinks to the point of obnoxiousness. He has promised to give up the booze many times, usually after an embarrassing episode but, usual story, it never happens.
In the past year or so, he has had many episodes of strange behaviour. He rants and raves about little things, hates the world and everything in it, thinks everyone is out to get him, and talks about suicide. At my insistence he has gone to the doc and is now on antidepressants. They seem to be useless. We have grown apart. I have trouble handling his behaviour and he accuses me of showing him no love. It's a vicious cycle.
Last week I thought he hit rock bottom. He had a job to get out quickly and was spending a lot of time at his work factory (he is self employed). To keep going he was drinking heavily and smoking pot (as always). He ended up having one of his episodes in front of some work colleagues. I picked him up from work and he really lost it here at home. At one stage he was in a fetal position on the floor screaming. I was worried and upset and spoke to some of my family members. The next day I said I had had enough and would have to move out. He promised to go to the Alc/drug centre and get help. I said I would give him another chance. He has since contacted them by phone but not yet made an appointment. He seemed to have slowed down his smoking and drinking this past week. Tonight he had another 'episode'. Accused me of having an affair (I'm not), that everyone in my family hates him (they don't), that I don't give him any affection (He's right there, I have been so upset with his behaviour), that I don't love him (he's wrong) and that he feels like driving into a tree. He took his car keys and said he would either do that or go to work as I didn't want him around. He's wrong but there was no stopping him.
I worry that one day he will act on his threats to suicide. I worry about the future. I don't want to leave him. I suspect he has some sort of long term marijuana use psychosis when he has these episodes. Does anyone have any experience with this type of thing?
I'm sorry about this huge long-winded post.
Wanted to add, I have tried to get some sort of help from his family but he is very good at minimising the situation and making me sound like a drama queen. Actually, noy sure what I was expecting from them anyway...maybe a miracle. I feel so alone in this.
Last edited by charlotte23; 03-02-2009 at 06:48 AM. Reason: Forgot to mention.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
21 years is long enough to see that alcoholism and addiction are progressive and the toll it takes on the binge drinker/user and his/her family.
He has been slowly killing himself all along. And that's his choice. You did not cause this. You cannot control this and you cannot cure this.
He is doing what alcoholics/addits do. And he is blaming and manipulating you.
Consider the source and let it go.
What you can do is to cease to allow his drinking and smoking to remain the focal point of your own life. May I suggest that you find an Al-Anon Meeting in your area, for yourself. You will meet many people who have walked in your shoes, who understand what it's like to be sucked into something you cannot control. The program can, if you allow it, help you let go of the outcome.
He has been slowly killing himself all along. And that's his choice. You did not cause this. You cannot control this and you cannot cure this.
He is doing what alcoholics/addits do. And he is blaming and manipulating you.
Consider the source and let it go.
What you can do is to cease to allow his drinking and smoking to remain the focal point of your own life. May I suggest that you find an Al-Anon Meeting in your area, for yourself. You will meet many people who have walked in your shoes, who understand what it's like to be sucked into something you cannot control. The program can, if you allow it, help you let go of the outcome.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 584
Charlotte,
I am sorry for what you are going through, my addict is my son. I know he is totally hooked on weed (along with other drugs), I do believe it is highly addictive. There are many here in the same boat as you that will be able to give you better advice then I can, but I wanted to give my support and hugs. You know that if your husband would hurt himself it is not your fault, he may just be trying to control the situation by saying that. Read the sticky notes about they are helpful. (((hugs)))
I am sorry for what you are going through, my addict is my son. I know he is totally hooked on weed (along with other drugs), I do believe it is highly addictive. There are many here in the same boat as you that will be able to give you better advice then I can, but I wanted to give my support and hugs. You know that if your husband would hurt himself it is not your fault, he may just be trying to control the situation by saying that. Read the sticky notes about they are helpful. (((hugs)))
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
welcome. i am glad you are here. please read around. it is a terrible life you are living. learn recovery for yourself. there is nothing you can do for him. he is not ready to quit using and it sounds as if he may never be. my son is 37 & has been using since he was 21. he is serving a 7-9 yr. prison sentence all due to alcohol & drugs. decide how you want to live your life & go for it. stick around. we all have been where u are. prayers,
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Welcome to SR!. You will find a lot of experience, strength & hope here. The addict in my life is my daughter, having said that, an addict is an addict. They lie, cheat, steal and threaten suicide. "A''s also shift the blame on others, so that they don't have to face it themselves.
I hope that you will continue to post & read around, you'll find many who have walked in your shoes.
I would also suggest that you find "alanon meetings for yourself", perhaps pick up the book "Co-dependent No More" by Melanie Beatty.
Sending you hugs & prayers.
I hope that you will continue to post & read around, you'll find many who have walked in your shoes.
I would also suggest that you find "alanon meetings for yourself", perhaps pick up the book "Co-dependent No More" by Melanie Beatty.
Sending you hugs & prayers.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
our docs opinion was that pot and antidepressants is a dangerous good mix - pot is a depressant and the effect with taking some meds is that the depression is intensified. he thinks he's making himself feel better with weed but he is actually throwing himself into a deeper depressive state.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 3
Thanks so much everyone.
I suspect the pot and drinking aren't a good mix with his meds. He also doesn't take them regularly, goes days without them despite his Dr telling him how important it is for him to take them regularly. He blames that for his 'episodes'. Or else he blames me. He says I'm always angry at him. Maybe I am. I'm certainly so disappointed with our sad life together and the fact that we now live in a constant battlefield.
Perhaps I should try alanon again. I went once and it wasn't really for me. I'm not ready to leave him but this is affecting my health and my job. I feel so helpless.
I suspect the pot and drinking aren't a good mix with his meds. He also doesn't take them regularly, goes days without them despite his Dr telling him how important it is for him to take them regularly. He blames that for his 'episodes'. Or else he blames me. He says I'm always angry at him. Maybe I am. I'm certainly so disappointed with our sad life together and the fact that we now live in a constant battlefield.
Perhaps I should try alanon again. I went once and it wasn't really for me. I'm not ready to leave him but this is affecting my health and my job. I feel so helpless.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I'll let you know when I figure it out
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by justanothrdrunk 
Don't know about the weed, but antidepressants simply do not work when there's drinking going on with it.
May the force be with you :praying
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