ChangeIsHard

hello,

I have never been to an Al Anon meeting. I have an ex-boyfriend who I still have feelings for who has been through one year of recovery through AA. (We split up one year ago). I still have a lot pain - that the relationship didn't work out, confusion, and I know that his drinking did affect me. So i guess I'm wondering.... is Al Anon appropriate for my situation?

tallulah

Hi... welcome to the site

I've just started out on the Al-Anon road. I'm in a similar(ish) situation to you. Just broken up from recovering alcoholic boyfriend. In fact we broke up just after my first meeting (but we were rocky for a year before). I too still have some feelings for him. Not surprising I suppose as the split is recent.

All I can say is try it. If it is not for you then you don't have to continue and look for another path. They do say keep going back for 6 meetings before you make any decisions about whether Al-Anon is for you.

I'd probably also say that bear in mind that if you feel that it is not your thing it may be the meeting. I still go to the meeting that I first turned up to but have found another meeting which is more like 'home'. I think maybe if I'd just stuck to that first meeting I may have given up on Al-Anon.

best wishes... x

historyteach

Alanon and naranon is for friends and family members of the alcoholic and substance abuser. If you consider yourself a friend of the alcoholic, then alanon is for you. It's that simple. There's no test to get into the meeting. ANd the steps are a way of life that can benefit anyone. Finding a sponsor to help you work those steps will help make the way smoother and more comprehensible.

Try it out. It cannot hurt. But, it can help.
I wish you luck.

Shalom!

Daisy30

I say try it out too!!! Alanon is for those whose lives have been affected by an A. It sounds like you fit that

There are many in my home group that didn't come to Al-anon until the A in their life was dead.

I say try at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is for you!

Cynay

I have to agree..... Try it out, heck its free. My suggestion is to try at least 6 different meetings.... at first Al-anon felt very uncomfortable to me, but like most of my major life changes that were for the better... changing is uncomfortable.

Cant hurts..... and I have to say for me .... its the best thing I have ever done for myself.

GiveLove

Same here, changeishard (and yes, it is, isn't it???)

I didn't feel comfortable at first, but I eventually recognized that as a symptom of the uncomfortable breaking of the little "cocoon" of habitual, hurtful thoughts I'd been in for so long.

It helped me a lot, and prepared me for dealing with alcoholism wherever I might find it in the rest of my life. Very valuable.

Your mileage may vary, but as others have said, if it doesn't help after a few times, you can stop going and you haven't lost anything but some TV-watching time. Good luck!

freya

...I know someone who dated an A for about 2 months, probably 8 or nine years ago now, and during the time she was dating him she started to attend Al Anon. She's still attending Al Anon, although he's obviously long gone at this point. When people ask her why, she says: "Because Al Anon is a life-enhancement program, not a relationship enhancement program!"

freya

ChangeIsHard

thank you everyone so much for your replies! they mean so much. i am definately going to try it out and i will keep you posted on my first meeting.