CheekyOne

Hi all Just stopping in to introduce myself.

I have a white wine habit, two bottles in an evening (well, sometimes starting as early as 1pm) three to four times a week. This has been going on, waxing and waning, for over a year. My fiance confronted me about a week and a half ago about my problem, which I'd been well aware of, going so far as to hide the bottles from him. I promised him I'd quit. That promise lasted all of two days, until I remembered that vodka supposedly doesn't have a smell and went out and bought a pint and finished it off that evening. That was last Monday.

I found this forum yesterday morning, having woken up with a raging hangover after consuming almost a liter of vodka the night before. My sweet, sweet fiance had confronted me again during my binge, and even in my alcohol haze I had enough common sense to be deeply ashamed. When he told me that he thought it best that we postpone our wedding plans until I get a handle on this, I felt a sadness I can hardly begin to describe. So I'm here, and plan to go to an AA meeting tomorrow night. My addiction has been increasing in severity for at least five years, but my inability to stop at one or two drinks has been with me since the first one at 17 (I'm 38 now). I've just been able to keep it relatively under control most of the time -- until now. So I'm sober since yesterday morning. and plan to keep it that way.

I've been so, so encouraged reading the various threads. This seems like a wonderful resource for support and advice, and I know I'll be regular presence here. Thanks for listening!

flutter

Welcome.. I switched to vodka towards the end of my drinking career too. You'll find a lot of support here, it's a great place to hang out Read, post, ask questions, make friends. Good job on the sober start!!!

Gypsy Feet

Welcome

SuperTrucker65

Welcome to SR!! Good Attitude, that You are starting out with!! It might be tough, to stop your drinking habit... But it is entirely possible!! And I wish You the Best of Luck, with it!!

NA is My place to go, and I go to Lots of Meetings, to help Me, to stay Clean!! Drugs were My Deal, not Alcohol... So AA is probably what You need, to Help You!!

I was taught... Go to at Least 3 meetings, every week, to stay Clean!! So... I did, and I still do, and I always Will!! I have to!! But it is working for Me, and I'm 16 months clean now!!

So... Good Luck!! And Keep up Your Positive Attitude!!

dave47

Welcome CheekyOne,
great support and advice for you here.

Iriss

Hi and welcome, you will find so much support here and every day sober you will feel even better x stay around...

CarolD

Welcome and conratulations on your wise decision

Blessings to the 2 of you!

yeahgr8

Hi there

I could not stop for more than one night and one morning last year, have been soner now coming up 5 months so it can be done and there is an infinitely better life ahead of you in sobriety that is guaranteed!

Keep coming here, reading and posting!

December15

Hi Cheekyone - I used to be a white wine drinker as well, would drink at least a bottle sometimes two every night of the week. Definitely more on the weekend. I'm now over two months sober and it feels great. A large part is due to the great folks on this site. Welcome to SR.

DeepBlue

Hi CheekyOne - another former white wine addict here! Welcome to the forum and the very best of luck. I remember too how easily one bottle becomes two, and how it slowly saps your strength and will. I'm only a week into sobriety and have much to learn, but feeling positive. I hope that you will receive all the support that you need.

DB

Fubarcdn

Welcome Cheeky.
You probably don't see it right now but your fiancee is doing you a big favor. Get yourself clean and have a wonderful wedding that you will remember entirely and shine as the happy bride that you want to be,

CheekyOne

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone!

I absolutely know he's helped me turn the corner. I've known for a long time that something needs to change (i.e., I need to quit drinking full stop), but haven't had the willpower. Now that it's been made explicit what I have to lose, the reality of the damage I'm doing to myself and my relationship has truly set in. I know it won't be easy. Right now I'm running on determination and fear, but sooner or later I'll be tested. Tested repeatedly, I'm sure. And that's why I'm glad to have found this forum. To have a place to immediately go to vent and talk through my feelings, with people who understand what I'm going through, well ... I think SR will be a key component of my recovery.

Thanks again, all.

NewBeginning010

CheekyOne :ghug I am at the exact point as you are... I just cant have one or two like everyone else. I wish I could but.... You have someone special in your life who truly cares about you, please don't mess it up with alcohol.

Everytime I think I can cut down or maybe just have a few on the weekend ended up a mess.

We are all here with you & I look forward to hearing your story & being a part of your recovery.

Take care & all of the best.

NB

nibroc

One of my friends has a wife who has a 2-bottle-of-wine a day habit and he's had to deal with that for 3+ years. Divorce is impending.

I wish you the best on combating the DEMON. I have not killed it yet myself. But we both know it has to be killed to live a normal life.

ViciousCycle

oh Boy, I see alot of myself in your post. I too drank alot of wine at night and it was on the increase. I was in a 3-year relationship and had a promise ring on my finger. The drinking pretty much took care of that. Looking back, I wonder if I was drinking because of the pressure of the relationship...........I am sure it means alot to you, if that's the case do something, don't ruin it like I did. I would have one suggestion though. Go see some kind of counselor, not just the AA thing......see if you can figure out what is going on inside that is causing you to spiral......we do use alcohol to mask things. Figuring what you are masking may be a helpful tool toward quitting. Anyway, I have certainly been when you are, be proud of yourself for realizing it and desiring to take action.

There are alot of good people here....alot of sound advice. Take what fits for you and leave the rest.

Good luck in the journey to a new life! Hugs.

readyforhelp

Glad you are here! :ghug

four812

welcome and thanks for sharing your story. keep up the good work.

so have you thought about trying an AA meeting?

CheekyOne

Thanks again, everyone. Your support means a lot to me. Oh, my drinking has definitely been on the increase because of issues surrounding my relationship, but they have very little to do with the relationship itself. Moving to another country to be with him, becoming a part-time stepmom, being unable to work at the moment because my current visitor's visa won't allow it, not yet having found a new group of friends locally, getting all of my stuff and my dogs moved across an ocean ... That'll do it! Today is my third day off the booze and I feel like I've come out of a trance -- and it's not just the absence of a hangover. The only time I had any desire to go for a bottle was when I got some anxiety-producing news this morning, and even then it wasn't a really strong craving, and it was brief. Oh, and another when fiance and I talked over my 'condition', which brought up a whole lot of shame. Mainly, though, I'm just feeling mildly emotionally uncomfortable. All in all, I'm feeling pretty okay with things thus far.

That said, I'm a bit afraid of falling back into that 'oh, I can have just a couple' mode, so AA is still on the agenda. And I had my first appointment with a new therapist (had one back in the old country but not here) last week with another one coming up in a couple of days, so I'm trying to take positive action.

So far, so good!

least

Welcome and congrats on three days sober! That's a great start as most of the withdrawals should be gone by the third or fourth day. I'm glad you found and joined our family. Lots of support here. Again, welcome!

DeepBlue

You're doing well Cheekyone! I felt a bit uncomfortable about the 3-4 day mark as well. But today I feel great - and it is only Day 8! Keep going, you are turning the first corner.

DB