Coolmummy

Have managed to do 25 days and had a big wobble last night. We are having some major financial issues at the mamanet, and are all very stressed about it. All I wanted to do was have a couple of drinks to relax and try to think about something else But I CAN'T - It angers me so much that I can't just open a bottle of wine and have ONE stinking GLASS. ARghhhh.

So...I didn't..and am pleased I didn't, but when will I stop caring?? My dh went to the pub for a drink, which is fine, but I so wanted to be able to as well..

However,when I got this morning and felt good - able to deal with the yelling kids and the washing up, I was relieved.

Does this make sense? I want to do it, but I'm pleased when i haven't?

cm xx

yeahgr8

Makes complete sense! Well done on staying strong. You may need to figure out something to do when your dh goes to the pub, like having new hobbies or getting into a group like AA. For now though just make sure you stay strong and don't drink, which you are doing

least

I get the same feelings, I want to drink to escape but am pleased when I don't give in. Stay strong - you can do it.:ghug3

shanman422

Great job!!! You did it... I'm so glad you didn't give in to temptation. I have been sober for 5 months now and I've had my struggles. I wish that I was a 'normie' but I've accepted that I am not and I can't give in... I just can't! I remind myself of how horrible I would feel the second the thought of drinking enters my mind, even if it's just one drink! You and I both know it doesn't stop there... one turns to two, two to three. I've been there, tried that.... sober life is MUCH more enjoyable and I AM WORTH it. I am NOT going to drink today and I am very proud to say that!!!

Enjoy another wonderful weekend sober... You CAN do this!

Shannon

KenL

Good work cool!! Waking up and knowing we didn't drink is such a good thing in so many ways. It's the little things in sobriety that make it such a worthy thing to have.

PinkClouded

25 days is GREAT! And you faced your first show-down and won! Good for you! I never thought being sober meant hiding away from "all the fun" and staying home feeling like you're missing something. I went out anyway, and didn't drink. I originally did things that didn't involve alcohol, with the exception of my job singing in a band. I had to be in clubs to do that, but I was working. I also had the benefit of seing other people smashed and behaving like idiots and being grateful I wasn't one of the "LOOK AT ME!" dopes. Maybe you need to find a way to be social so you don't feel deprived.

xym297

Know how you feel, I had an invite to the pub last night but was committed to a meeting so couldn't go. What went on in my head was why do I have to be going to a meeting when I could be having fun in the pub. The answer for me was I have given up that right, had I not abused alcohol for so long maybe now I could be going for an occasional drink, who knows. But I chose to abuse and with the progression the pub is no longer an option. When I woke up this morning, I thought I am so glad I didn't go to the pub because I would be feeling like death and today would be thrown away or drinking more. So one of the questions for next time I am tempted is will I be glad about it tomorrow, I know the answer so it might just help and get me to think about the downside as well as what I mis-believe is the good side.

coffeenut

Makes perfect sense. And....the longer you are sober, the more sense it makes.

PinkClouded

Hey! No fair peeking at Sunday...

Coolmummy

Hey everyone thank you..

The pub isn't a problem tbh, I've been there three or four times since I gave up and not been worried. It's just that I 'fancied' a drink - on my own in my living room in front of the tv. Just been chatting to my dh about this and seriously questioning him as to whether, if he was told he could never have a drink again, could he do it? Well, he ummed and ahhed a bit and said he would get a hobby. OK, so I get a hobby - with two small kids in the house, and him working and our evenings being taken over by the childcare etc!! Can anyone advise me on a hobby?!! Gym out of the question for financial reasons sadly, I wish I could rejoin! Sorry feeling a bit and today...


cm xx

Fubarcdn

I felt the same way after reaching about a month also but it is going away. I know I never fancy just one drink and I remember the hangovers being worse than the night of drinking being good. The going up ain't worth the coming down.
Good job resisting. Hopefully there will come a time when you don't want that just one or two.

TryingSoHard

Hi CM!
Well, honey, of course it does! But you wouldn't just have ONE STINKING GLASS, would you?

It makes total sense. The conflict is your addict voice and your rational voice arguing with each other. Your addiction wants to win, but you are learning to say no and fight back. You feel pleased when you win because you SHOULD - you are doing the right thing, and you are killing the beast. GO, YOU!

Hobbies... actually, you have lots of choices. Your choices are limited only by your imagination, really. (Ok, finances come in to play a little but you can pick and choose and work around that.) Photography. Scrapbooking. Knitting/needlepoint/cross-stitch. Who needs a gym? Go for a walk or a bike ride! Get an exercise ball (I forget the name of them, the big ones that you sit on) and do that at home - they are relatively inexpensive. You can even find exercise videos on sale pretty commonly. Heck, turn on some music and dance while you clean house or pick up after the kids! Gardening is a great hobby and one you can get the kids involved in, too. Reading. Learn a new language. Challenge yourself to find one NEW thing to do with your kids each day. I found a book on clearance at the bookstore one time called The Busy Book, with 365 craft/project ideas to do with kids of varying ages. Most can be done with common household items and are appropriate for kids of any age. Oh! And then there are PUZZLES: crossword puzzles, sudoku, logic puzzles, mazes, etc.

Hang in there honey, you're doing GREAT!!!

mamabin

I was going to mention puzzles as well. I can't count how many times I left unfinished puzzles on the table for weeks because I couldn't do them once I started drinking. I think I'll start one today. I have some unopened Christmas ones. They're ugly but that doesn't really matter And I also cross stitch (or at least I used to). It's relatively easy, I just bought one of those packages and read the directions. Another thing I gave up for drinking. Just start with a small one. They take longer than you might think. And they're hard to put down once you start.

nelco

could you join a group....to get you out socially for a hour or two a week. Like amateur acting, or night classes in pottery or interior design or something. if those things are costly where you are ....maybe you could start your own gym fund. Get a little jar going ...and each week put the money you would have spent on wine. Reward yourself with something like gym membership, or a treadmill for your home, or even a facial one a month. Whatever you like to do. It would be a good incentive to get healthy also.
By the way ,well done on your 25 days sober.

Coolmummy

you know I'd really like to do some amatuer drama - used to act when I was younger and have been thinking about it.. Anything to do with cotton or wool though - argh, I cannot sew a straight line, nor do I want to!!!!

Thanks for all your help and advice xxx

nickishine

CM....

I relate all the way! I was thinking yesterday how nice it'd be just to kick back and have a couple... wine(s), beer(s).... then bottles...! It's the nature of the beast for us alkies. We WANT to drink like normal folk but can't! I've had to concede to my innermost self that I AM ALCOHOLIC therefore, just can't take that 1st drink into insanity...

I, too, like to wake up -- not come to -- and feel good! You make perfect sense to me, Girl!

Have a great sober day today! Thank you for sharing this with us!

WELL DONE ON NOT GIVING IN!!!! :ghug3

serenityqueen

First off, let me say WAY TO GO for not giving in on the urge last night. Sitting and having a drink is just as much of a habit as some sit with a bowl of potato chips and watch tv in the evening. But, it is a habit that can be broken!

As far as hobbies, I do think it would be great to do something with the kids, a great way to reconnect if you will. But I think it's just as important, if not more, to do things for you. When I had about 9 months or so in Recovery, I went and spent about $20 on some silk flowers, a hot glue gun, glue sticks and a wreath like base. I played around and discovered that I have a natural talent for this. It's a lot of fun and I can not only make some great gifts for people for relatively cheap, but have sold a number of things as well. That first Mother's Day, I made over $200 on a week or so of spare time fun. Nothing like having a hobby that creates beauty and I love to do but makes me some much needed extra money as well!

God Bless,
Judy