californiapoppy

I just got here 2 days ago, and I already have to start again with day one. Every morning I look at myself in the mirror and say "I hate you", then decide to quit drinking so I can say "you're not too bad after all". Well it didn't work yesterday, but today is going fine for the moment 9:40 in the morning. I'm going to plan my day, I'm not going to let myself get tired or hungry or thirsty, all of which lead me to crave alcohol. I'll try to remember the candy I have in my purse and eat it when I get hungry. I'll do my best to remember that I hate myself the day after! And I'll spend 10 minutes reading anything that will help me here in the forum, when I feel I need a push in the right direction, and it does look like there might be a lot to read! I'm very happy to have found you all, looks like there is always someone online, which is great! It's nice just to know that someone is there thatjust might be able to push me in the right direction when I'm about to do something silly.
Here I go!!! Day 1 all is well.
Bye for now, Poppy

least

I relapsed for several months after joining the site but I finally got it right. You can too!:ghug3

Don't give up!

ADayAtATime

Welcome to SR, Glad you are here.
Your in the right place...Lot's of support.
I too have relapsed "many times"...going on day 7 here.
Trying your best to start over is all you can do.
Take it "A day at a time".
That is exactly what I'm doing right now, I have no guarantee what will happen tomorrow...but I will try my best to not take that first drink.
Cause once I get started, I don't no how to turn it off...So it's best to not turn it on in the first place (at least for me that's how it is).
Also, there is no need for you to tell yourself that you hate yourself. We all have our glitches and we're not perfect...But each one of us is special and have a lot to offer to eachother. Learn to love yourself once again, you being here with us is a great inspiration.
Thanks for sharing...please keep doing so.
God Bless and Great big Hugs to you my friend :ghug3
XOXO

December15

Congratulations on deciding to quit cp. Soon you will be amazed at how much better you will be feeling once that poison is gone from your body.

CarolD

I too returned to drinking after I decided to stop.
I detested the woman I had become from drinking...

Here is a link to the book that finally clicked for me
I've not had another drink since....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

To enjoy my sobriety....I use God and AA.

Yes! you too can quit and stay quit..

nelco

Hey.....not a very positive start. Why not try "I am going to treat you with the respect that I would want other people to treat you with, and I am going to start by not poisoning you today"

Good luck poppy, you know there is a life after drink and its a very good one. I found soberity through A.A it worked for me. I also hated the person I had become, and was so sick of it all. Life for me is good today because I am free from the chains of alcohol

Rusty Zipper

you can do it poppy!

californiapoppy

Hi, I read the sticky, "what to expect", Wow! I've always felt so much better when I didnt drink, right from the first day. That's why I can start with an "I hate you" I guess, because I know that if I make it through the day without drinking the next day I can smile in the mirror. I'd just like to keep it up day after day, and the reason I don't seem to be able to is that I end up forgetting that I hated myself...because what's more I don't have any excuses for drinking. I'm fine, my family's fine, I don't have money problems, I probably have too much free time (time to drink, but I could probably fit it in anyway)I will be back and keep on reading because maybe that will keep my mind refreshed, or jog my awareness. Thanks to all for your advise and concern!

nelco

alcoholics don't need an excuse to drink,we often create them ,but we don't need them..good luck poppy.

readyforhelp

californiapoppy,

We're all in this together. Thanks for posting.