justtired

So this is what I've decided this morning.... that leaving an addict is like having a baby. Now I have not yet had a baby, so I'm not saying this from experience. However, wanting children, I often have thought of the pain of going through labor and it's SCARY to me. But then I have seen lots of my friends go through pregnancy and by the time they are nearing their due dates, they are READY for it to be over. They had some nice experiences being pregnant, but they are now completely uncomfortable, they can't sleep and are ready for it to be over. As their due dates near, I have not heard even a single one of my friends talk about any fear of pain. They Just want it OVER WITH.

That's where I'm now at. I had some nice experiences with my abf. But I am now uncomfortable, I can't sleep and I'm ready for it to be over!

Too bad we don't all have a "due date" to give us a time-line on when it's supposed to happen! And no chance to turn back!

sailorjohn

Well, don't know about the having the baby analogy, will have to take you're word for it. In the "Getting The Sober" series, Toby Rice Drews makes the comment that knowing it's hard to leave an addict "helps to calm us down and keeps us on the recovery path" Title of one of the chapters in the last volume of the series, in fact. Unfortunately, there are no stickies from these books posted here, so if you want to read the book you'll have to buy it. Helped me a lot, made sense of a lot of the insanity I had to deal with-my own and that of the addict in my life.

kj3880

I'll give you a due date...Feb 1, 2009. That makes you more than 2 weeks overdue!!!! Are we going to have to schedule you for a C-section or will you just open up and start to push that sucker out????

Love,
KJ

racaple78

I feel your pain. I have both given birth and have also left my AH, and filed for divorce. The pain lasts as long as you allow it to. I will say that I have dragged this separation out unnecessarily; probably b/c I had remorse after leaving (albeit very momentarily) wondering if I did the right thing. Its been 5 months, and I can tell you....I DID THE RIGHT THING.
The longer you maintain contact with your ex, the harder it will be to cut cords. If its possible, leave him and never look back. You will be so much happier that way.

justtired

Ha! That made me laugh. I HAVE been "prego" for 9 years as of today, so it's probably about time huh???

Could happen any day!

justtired

Unfortunately we own a business together. So I can't just make a clean break which is really going to make it hard. Plus I worked hard to get this business where it is and that's also hard to give up. But I know that goes along with the territory. I really wish we didn't have such a tie and that I could just go and not look back. But I'll make it!

I'm glad that you were able to do the right thing for you and look back and KNOW it was right. Congrats on making the best decisions for you!

wuzzled

After labor, (this is the easy part) you are blessed with a beautiful child, and your journey as a parent has just begun. This journey will be joyous, rewarding, challenging, exhausting, and at times painful. It will also be worth every minute of it!

After leaving the addict, you are blessed with a beautiful new future, your journey to self discovery has just begun. This journey will be painful, exhausting, challenging, and will be rewarding and joyous as you find you have strength you didn't know you had, and it will be worth every minute of it!