Are we still lost in time?
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Location: Crofton, Md
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Are we still lost in time?
I wonder at times that maybe we are still teenagers as adults, or what ever age we started numbing ourselves at. If we never gave ourselves a chance to actually be sober and feel our own feelings because we always found a way to cover up and self medicate maybe we never grew up at all and we just don't know how to learn new cooping skills, and perhaps that is a reason we keep going back to what we know and don't want to face what we have been secretly running from? Just a thought, because I don't know about you guys but it just seems weird and awkward to be sober and deal with life and myself on it's own terms and dare to feel....I mean how can I when I never really had to and most of all when it felt like nobody understood, that is untill I found this site. Thank you for I now know I'm not alone!!!Taking this one momment at a time.:praying
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They say that you are whatever age you started using drinking, emotionally anyway so it's fair to say that a lot of us haven't had to learn the usual life skills most have when we stop drinking or using and need to learn new skills. But that is part of getting sober so i guess we just all need to be patient with ourselves and everyone else whilst we get accustomed!
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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I can relate. You hear about that awkward stage that teens hit espcialy when puberty kicks in and by God if I don't feel like I'm going through my teens again, at least as far as that emotional roller coaster goes. I think after some solid recovery time of 1-2 years that should straigten out. But then again I see so many grown men and woman that are even casual users still acting like high school kids so I don't feel so much alone. Maybe it's a product of modern day society?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go play with my tinker toys in my tree house fort!
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go play with my tinker toys in my tree house fort!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tejas
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I'm learning that too, Charisma. Sheesh, last time I could remember crying was 1992 when my grandmother passed. We were watching a movie the other day and I was sitting there sobbing like a little school girl. I kept thinking where the heck is this coming from? I think it's been so long since I felt anything, I don't know how to react when I do. BUT if I find myself watching Oprah, I'm taking up drinking again.
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Originally Posted by yeahgr8 
They say that you are whatever age you started using drinking, emotionally anyway so it's fair to say that a lot of us haven't had to learn the usual life skills most have when we stop drinking or using and need to learn new skills. But that is part of getting sober so i guess we just all need to be patient with ourselves and everyone else whilst we get accustomed!
I think that you are right on target with that. I would seem to be a no brainer but when I actually sit down and think soberly things just seem so much clearer and makes more sense. It's like we can answer all our questions but have trouble sticking to them...Well I'm seriously going to try to remain clear and follow through
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Originally Posted by Bard
I can relate. You hear about that awkward stage that teens hit espcialy when puberty kicks in and by God if I don't feel like I'm going through my teens again, at least as far as that emotional roller coaster goes. I think after some solid recovery time of 1-2 years that should straigten out. But then again I see so many grown men and woman that are even casual users still acting like high school kids so I don't feel so much alone. Maybe it's a product of modern day society?
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go play with my tinker toys in my tree house fort!
Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go play with my tinker toys in my tree house fort!
Yes, Yes, and Yes... Just trying to figure out this whole thing and get different inputs, just to make sure us folks are on the same page and through the support we (well I know I ) can gain strength. I guess I will have to give it time and wait it out
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Originally Posted by Samsonsworld
I'm learning that too, Charisma. Sheesh, last time I could remember crying was 1992 when my grandmother passed. We were watching a movie the other day and I was sitting there sobbing like a little school girl. I kept thinking where the heck is this coming from? I think it's been so long since I felt anything, I don't know how to react when I do. BUT if I find myself watching Oprah, I'm taking up drinking again.
Yup that is soooo true. Some things are just plain old depressing and I don't think those things will go away totally, but I'm hoping that I can gain the skills to deal with them through the growing process. Like the gloomy dark days on top of the rain and cold with it.Ugggh that makes me want to toss down a fifth. Hopefully I can ever get to a point where I just learn to appreciate that we have rain so things can grow and when there is dark will come light....Don't know
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Location: uk
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i believe for me that alot of my recovery was and is about growing up..
learning to deal with emotions and life in general without something to "round" of the edges.
The big picture if you like.
I dont know about everyone else but for me...mid to late teens i was hitting the bottle......i believe stunting my emotional growth.
Sometimes i still feel like an kid trapped in an adult body....and responsibility is tough..
Sometimes on the sea front i can still be seen walking along the top of the wall instead of the path like all the adults....lol..lol................trucker..
learning to deal with emotions and life in general without something to "round" of the edges.
The big picture if you like.
I dont know about everyone else but for me...mid to late teens i was hitting the bottle......i believe stunting my emotional growth.
Sometimes i still feel like an kid trapped in an adult body....and responsibility is tough..
Sometimes on the sea front i can still be seen walking along the top of the wall instead of the path like all the adults....lol..lol................trucker..
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Originally Posted by trucker
i believe for me that alot of my recovery was and is about growing up..
learning to deal with emotions and life in general without something to "round" of the edges.
The big picture if you like.
I dont know about everyone else but for me...mid to late teens i was hitting the bottle......i believe stunting my emotional growth.
Sometimes i still feel like an kid trapped in an adult body....and responsibility is tough..
Sometimes on the sea front i can still be seen walking along the top of the wall instead of the path like all the adults....lol..lol................trucker..
learning to deal with emotions and life in general without something to "round" of the edges.
The big picture if you like.
I dont know about everyone else but for me...mid to late teens i was hitting the bottle......i believe stunting my emotional growth.
Sometimes i still feel like an kid trapped in an adult body....and responsibility is tough..
Sometimes on the sea front i can still be seen walking along the top of the wall instead of the path like all the adults....lol..lol................trucker..
Yup Truker,
I have to agree with you and yes the responsibility thing that we have fought for so long is hard facing, and I do find myself acting more like a big kid throwing tantrums when I can't have my way, even my addiction throws them when being tested, but I realize that the more I give it power the more it wins and the more I feel like I'm going insain. So basically I am trying to learn how to live normally step by step like you said.(fighting that alter ego)
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York, NY
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Originally Posted by Samsonsworld
I'm learning that too, Charisma. Sheesh, last time I could remember crying was 1992 when my grandmother passed. We were watching a movie the other day and I was sitting there sobbing like a little school girl. I kept thinking where the heck is this coming from? I think it's been so long since I felt anything, I don't know how to react when I do. BUT if I find myself watching Oprah, I'm taking up drinking again.
When you're not numbing yourself with booze and drugs, emotions are pretty powerful things. I went to a Christmas concert and this little girl got up in front of the choir and belted out a tune and I lost it. (My friends briefly treated me like a mental patient.) This is after 2 years with no sign of letting up. And I don't try and choke it down. It makes my throat hurt.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Attica, MI
Posts: 465
Becoming more emotionally mature to me means; being transparent, honest, standing for what you believe in, facing what life brings you head on and working thru it thoughtfully, coming out on the other side learning from the thing...good or bad, and walking thru this world with a "servants heart". Learning, listening, teaching and giving grace to others in their shortcomings.
All things I can't learn to do when alcohol gets the best parts of me. These things are the best parts...without booze I can move forward and learn how to be an emotionally mature person.
This doesn't mean I don't want to walk on some sea walls though....
Some of the most mature and confident folks I have met here, that have helped me the most, have a youthful spirit when it comes to enjoying the good things in sober life...something I have lacked most of my life....youthfullness in the areas I NEED it the most.
A friend here at SR told me that "...some wear there sobriety like a straight jacket....we need to wear it like a loose fitting comfortable garment..."
To me this means we are free in our sobriety to become the person we were meant to be.... now that the shackles of addiction have been removed....true freedom to grow and mature...
Peace all.
All things I can't learn to do when alcohol gets the best parts of me. These things are the best parts...without booze I can move forward and learn how to be an emotionally mature person.
This doesn't mean I don't want to walk on some sea walls though....
Some of the most mature and confident folks I have met here, that have helped me the most, have a youthful spirit when it comes to enjoying the good things in sober life...something I have lacked most of my life....youthfullness in the areas I NEED it the most.
A friend here at SR told me that "...some wear there sobriety like a straight jacket....we need to wear it like a loose fitting comfortable garment..."
To me this means we are free in our sobriety to become the person we were meant to be.... now that the shackles of addiction have been removed....true freedom to grow and mature...
Peace all.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tejas
Posts: 192
Originally Posted by PinkClouded
I cry a lot now, too. Those Church of the Latter Day Saints commercials just KILL me...and the one with the puppy that grows up and becomes an old dog having trouble climbing the back stairs...Anything about the soldiers and their families on the news...Good plan to avoid Oprah.
When you're not numbing yourself with booze and drugs, emotions are pretty powerful things. I went to a Christmas concert and this little girl got up in front of the choir and belted out a tune and I lost it. (My friends briefly treated me like a mental patient.) This is after 2 years with no sign of letting up. And I don't try and choke it down. It makes my throat hurt.
When you're not numbing yourself with booze and drugs, emotions are pretty powerful things. I went to a Christmas concert and this little girl got up in front of the choir and belted out a tune and I lost it. (My friends briefly treated me like a mental patient.) This is after 2 years with no sign of letting up. And I don't try and choke it down. It makes my throat hurt.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Crofton, Md
Posts: 46
Originally Posted by masseyman
Becoming more emotionally mature to me means; being transparent, honest, standing for what you believe in, facing what life brings you head on and working thru it thoughtfully, coming out on the other side learning from the thing...good or bad, and walking thru this world with a "servants heart". Learning, listening, teaching and giving grace to others in their shortcomings.
All things I can't learn to do when alcohol gets the best parts of me. These things are the best parts...without booze I can move forward and learn how to be an emotionally mature person.
This doesn't mean I don't want to walk on some sea walls though....
Some of the most mature and confident folks I have met here, that have helped me the most, have a youthful spirit when it comes to enjoying the good things in sober life...something I have lacked most of my life....youthfullness in the areas I NEED it the most.
A friend here at SR told me that "...some wear there sobriety like a straight jacket....we need to wear it like a loose fitting comfortable garment..."
To me this means we are free in our sobriety to become the person we were meant to be.... now that the shackles of addiction have been removed....true freedom to grow and mature...
Peace all.
All things I can't learn to do when alcohol gets the best parts of me. These things are the best parts...without booze I can move forward and learn how to be an emotionally mature person.
This doesn't mean I don't want to walk on some sea walls though....
Some of the most mature and confident folks I have met here, that have helped me the most, have a youthful spirit when it comes to enjoying the good things in sober life...something I have lacked most of my life....youthfullness in the areas I NEED it the most.
A friend here at SR told me that "...some wear there sobriety like a straight jacket....we need to wear it like a loose fitting comfortable garment..."
To me this means we are free in our sobriety to become the person we were meant to be.... now that the shackles of addiction have been removed....true freedom to grow and mature...
Peace all.
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