rubygurl292

I just want to say how much this forum has already helped me. For anyone who read my post earlier I've still been obsessing over the situation. I've spent a few hours doing some research on recovery. I had plans to go to my first AA meeting in less than an hour and I'm getting nervous about it. Was anyone else really nervous the first time? I kind of want to say nevermind and just read more posts in this forum because they have helped calm me down so much already. I actually just came back on to read some more because I was getting myself worked up again lol Surprisingly enough I was able to take a test today and do pretty well (I think, I hope!) but other than that hour I have wasted my entire day thus far thinking about how much I wish I could go back a few days. I hate this anxious feeling. I cant quite figure out how to get rid of it...the only solution I can come up with is "this too shall pass". I hate that once again I have put myself in a position to dislike who I am.

sfgirl

Dude, I totally was nervous. You should bring a friend if that would help! That is what I did. Just FYI in terms of what to expect for when you will have to speak (and I have only been to one meeting but pretty sure it is the same structure everywhere): it was a speaker/discussion meeting. They ask the newcomers to intro themselves by name. I guess if you want you don't have to say anything or you can just say your name and then everyone in the whole room says "Hi Ruby" back to you at the same time, I love that part. Otherwise you aren't asked to say anything and if you don't feel comfortable speaking I am sure you can stay silent in the back. People say the serenity prayer and other things all together but if you don't know the drill, I didn't, you can just stay silent. It is kind of intimidating the first time but no real need to worry. Seriously, bring a friend, it might be fun for them.

Astro

I think that's the best description I've heard about what it's like to experience an AA meeting for the first time. You don't have to stand up, you don't have to share, you don't have to say the prayer. All I've ever heard suggested is that we listen for the similarities rather than the differences.

If you start feeling comfortable enough at meetings, then you can get a sponsor and start taking action.

Most importantly, if you're hurting, frightened, and need help, please ask for help and support. That's what other AA'ers are there for.

I hope you decide to go, and that your first experience is a positive one. Please try going to at least a few meetings before you decide that AA is or isn't for you.

nelco

I was nervous as hell...........your admitting you need help and that takes courage. You can F. E. A. R face everything and recover or F... everything and run............. Go for the first one!!! Go on we are all behind you. XXX

rubygurl292

Unfortunately I have no friends here that I would admit this problem to. My close friends in FL would be a diff story...for that matter my mom would go with me in a heartbeat. I've asked my husband before but he just laughs it off...he doesnt think Im an alcoholic or just isnt used to anyone trying to change it (he has grown up with addicts his whole life). If I really needed his support I'm sure he would suffer through with me. I'm not wanting to drink today or anything...I just kind of want to vent or listen or something to that affect to help calm my nerves.

Thank you for the insight tho. It is nice to get an idea of what to expect.

mle-sober

I went to my first meeting by myself and sat down in the corner and promptly started crying. Tears just rolled down my face. Snot too. I couldn't stop. Someone handed me a box of tissue and I hugged it like a teddy bear.

After the meeting this angel of a woman came and sat beside me and spoke so gently to me. The only thing I remember is she kept saying, "There is a solution." And she was right!!

You can do this! You can do this!

rubygurl292

I'm going to take a deep breath, grab my purse, and not look back. I'm sure I will be back on here later to share the experience.

breathe, breathe, breathe.....

Anna

Ruby,

It's great that you're seeking recovery.

CAPTAINZING2000

I was nervous the first meeting.

But, I was made to feel welcome without expecting anything from me in return.
I've found out, no matter what city or, state I attend an AA meeting, people are glad to have me there.

You'll remind people at the meeting, why they still go to them.

I believe, I'm responsible for helping the next person coming into AA to help get sober.

rubygurl292

Well ironically enough I hit a snag. My car has security alarm issues and when it decides to act up I have to wait 10 minutes to let it reset before I can start my car. Needless to say I was leaving at 6:10 with just enough time to make the 6:30 mtg so I wouldnt have to wait in my car and rethink anything. The next meeting at 7pm is on the military base and I'm too scared I could see someone I know or just be labeled as an young alcoholic military wife. So now I'm going to hang around here and hope I will still feel strong enough to go to one of the 8pm meetings.

What a day.

Astro

It's usually OK to walk into a meeting late, so don't let that stop you. We'd rather see someone staying sober than worrying about whether they're on time or not

shaun00

Everyone there will know how you feel......

They will remember their first meeting..im sure.

I can remember when i first opened my month..........heart thumping...voice shaking...nail biting...

The coffee at some meetings has the same effect...lol..lol..

Seriously.....your be fine...........it just a bunch of drunks that dont drink.

DONT forget to let us all know how it went...............trucker.

nelco

Well I live in Ireland and its past my bedtime so I cannot wait with you, but i know loads of folks here that will lol........I will be checking in tomorrow hoping to hear all about your meeting. GO for it...................XX nite:ghug3

CAPTAINZING2000

Bit of irony there with alcoholism as high as it is with people connected with the military.

The only thing I never want is for anyone ever to see me again in a drunken stupor

CAPTAINZING2000

Only meeting we're ever late for is our first one.

Gypsy Feet

Since I've been reading this board, I've read post after post about people going to their first meeting and being so glad that they did. Go and come back and tell us all about it!

rubygurl292

It is pretty amazing how many ppl suffer from alcohol abuse in the military. I never had a problem, or saw the problem, before I was connected to the military. Before getting married and moving here I used to party with the girls or go to parties and have a great time without feeling like a jacka** the next day. I did some drugs here and there but stopped that on my own because they just didn't impress me anymore. Then I move here and start partying with my husband and all his military buddies and next thing you know it's 10 beers, 10 shots of jager, and hours spent in blackout. I don't know if I just try to drink with the guys and cant handle it like they can or what made the difference suddenly.

nickishine

Hey there!

The hardest part is walking through the door! So many people will reach out to you and they are there for the primary purpose to stay sober too.

Please post and let us know how it goes, K? I just got back from a mtg myself and was tripping out cuz the guy "chairing/leading" the mtg - not the secretary - was a party buddy of mine a few years back. We use to get drunk together then the next day go to out-patient, then I'd secretary a mtg... we'd leave and go to my house to get wasted! What a joke.... have some good memories though!

Hugs! :ghug3

TryingSoHard

Nicki is right - the hardest part is DEFINITELY walking in the door. When I went to my first meeting, I sat in my car in the parking lot for about 20 minutes before I got up the courage to get out and start walking towards the door. There were people sitting outside chatting before the meeting, and they all seemed so relaxed and happy that I thought surely I must be in the wrong place! But no... it was the right place.

I'm sure I looked absolutely terrified because I had someone approach me the second I walked in. He just said hello, and told me his name, and welcomed me. I said thanks and he asked if it was my first time coming to a meeting. I said yes, and he said here, you come sit by me, it will be ok. I pretty much cried throughout the whole meeting. The man sitting next to me identified me as a newcomer to the person chairing the meeting, so they did a "newcomer's meeting" for me to explain everything to me and let me hear some stories. It was incredible (and yes, a bit overwhelming).

I had no idea that I would feel such unconditional support and kindness from a room full of strangers. (And no, I never had to say a single word.)

I didn't sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes before going in again.

1_day@_a_time

On May 2nd, 2001, I walked into an AA meeting sick & tired of drinking, using and an unmanagable life.

While I had no idea what I was getting into or what to expect, it felt like I was coming home. IT WAS SAFE AND COMFORTABLE.

I have been to meetings around the country and the world.

I know of no other organization where you can walk in, feel at home and relate to so many, get help & recover.

Today, I have built a whole new life, could care less about drinking and got back into long distance running & participating in cycling endurance events. I dropped over 40 lbs., and I'm in the best shape of my life.

I have developed a spiritual life I never could have imagined. I have more inner peace & serenity than ever.

I met the lady of my dreams through this website.

Oh, and I have never felt the need to take another drink, ever again, as of today.

Ya' might just want to give it a try.......you're worth it!!!