JustAYak

My dad has his court date tomorrow and I'm a little worried about it I guess. For those of you who don't know, he was pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence of heroin as well as possession of it and then he overdosed while in the back seat of the cop car (so I was told). I have a question about me though. If my dad is forced to go to rehab will I have to find somewhere else to stay since I'm a minor? Can I not live by myself? The cops know I'm the only other one who lives with my dad so having them think I live with my mom or something isn't an option...I don't really know if he'll get sentenced rehab, but if that's the case and I have to find somewhere to stay, then I'm gonna have to explain all this to one of my friends

winnie12

Jason you may want to try to contact your local Legal Aid and see if they can let you talk to an attorney. I would be very hesitant to instruct you on this becuase every state is different. You could try to emancipate yourself which means that you would be responsible for yourself but that takes time. I know in GA 17 yo's have a lot more rights then some states but even with that you would have to prove that you could support yourself.

but i have to say that you do need friends and others right now helping you. Life is not something we're setup to go through alone. I know you dont feel ready to reach out and struggle with that. But at some point you may have to and it may be easier on you to do this yourself without the gov forcing you to do it or putting you in foster care. I dont mean to scare you but it might be best to set it up now yourself so that you have some control. I know that teens sometimes actually have to be held in the local YDC a few days while they find somewhere for them to go. Its horrible and the county hates it but it does occassionally happen when there are no beds anywhere. You need to protect yourself before something happens. Be proactive instead of reactive. Have a plan before he goes to court just in case.

marle

I don't have any advice but I will send you lots of prayers that things work out for you. Hugs, Marle

outtolunch

I am so sorry that you are in this position, especially at your age, through no fault of your own. You are going to be one heck of a strong man, one day, for having survived this ordeal.

I do not know the laws in your area. I do know that living alone requires money. Is there a source of income, independent of your father?

greeteachday

I don't know the answer Jason...I think a lot depends on the state. In my state this first court date would simply be to hear the charge and to enter a plea and be advised of the right to an attorney, etc. It wouldn't be a case where there is a disposition yet. In my state, if the state was getting involved due to the status of a minor in the home, it would be separate from the charges and our youth services division would have already put in an appearance.
Still got you in my prayers and thoughts...Lots of good positive energy going your way.

bluebelle

In my experience, sentencing didn't happen on the first court date. When I was a kid, my mom was arrested a couple of times for dealing/possession and she was able to get off with probation. That was over 20 years ago, and I think the laws have become tougher. In my case, I wasn't home when they raided the house. She told them that I wasn't aware of her drug usage/selling and children's services never stopped by. She told me that if I had been home during the raid, children's services would have come to get me. That always scared the h*** out of me. Of course, she continued to sell drugs after that arrest.

How long until you are 18? I'm sending prayers your way.

BBD

Jason, My heart is with you hon. If you have a good friend with a great family~~maybe they will allow you to stay for a while while your dad is in rehab...It probably will take some paperwork and child protection will probably get involved.. You sound like a great young man with a good head so reaching out for help right now is something you may consider... My thoughts are with you. Bonnie

JustAYak

Outtolunch, no there is no other source of income although I have a ton of money saved up from summer jobs and such...dunno how long that would last me though. I think a better bet would be to stay with a friend, and if this happens I'm just gonna have to "man up" and ask them if I can stay with them for at least a little while so I don't have to go to foster care...and then from there I can either go to my mom's in Michigan if she'll allow it (I don't doubt she would, it would just be very uncomfortable for me) or I can stay with the friend for however long, but I'd feel like I was intruding on their space...

Bluebelle, only a few more months, I turn 18 on May 11th.

Thanks for all the support, I will have to look up a little more information I guess on my state laws.

MyJoey

Jason,

I don't have any idea about the court stuff, I am learning all that myself. I am thinking about you and hope it all works out for you, don't over worry about it, whatever happens.......happens and there is nothing you can do to change that so worrying is only going to get you down. The offer is always open to stay here, I know you would prefer to be in your own school, but don't think you wouldn't have a place to go and you would be stuck in foster care. The only sad part around here, would be the drugs are all over the place in this town. Keep us post on how it works out, are you going to the hearing?

JustAYak

No, I'm not going to the hearing because I have to go to school. My guidance counselor told me if I miss anymore (for an invalid reason) I'd be in trouble...as if I'm not already.

My dad is being a total as.s to me tonight because he knows he has to stay clean now for a few months. >:[

cessy68

hmmm, Jason, that is a heck of an ordeal you are faceing. My first inclination is to tell you to talk with a teacher - or a guidance counseler- and see what they suggest to you. Perhaps they know a family or someone you could stay with.

I don't know the legalities, but I DEFINATLY would seek the advice of a public attorney - so that you don't have to be forced to live somewhere that you don't want to live (by the state)

I'm sorry sweetie that you are going through this............... so sorry. my heart bleeds for you.

Love,
Cessy

MyJoey

Jason,

Hopefully once he gets it all out of his system he will return to being a father. Remember he is not acting like an a$$ right now he is one..........it's not you he is mad at, you know that so try not to take it to heart.....easier said then done I know. Sorry Jason, I just hope things get better for you.

In a Tailspin

Wow, Jason.........I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I'm guessing this is your senior year - - a time that should be filled with friends and fun and looking forward to your future, not this bu!!sh*t.

I think you are on the right track of looking into other options and have gotten some great advice from others here.

I have read your other posts previously, and my question for you is this:

How is YOUR sobriety doing through all this mess with your dad? Are you going to any meetings? I'm guessing you could benefit greatly from both AA/NA and Alanon/Naranon. Get a sponsor......someone who has been in your shoes and can help you see the path to sanity. I agree with what Winnie had to say......we aren't meant to go through life alone - - and as hard as it is, I hope you will reach out to someone you can trust sooner rather than later.

Keep posting and let us know how it goes............

JustAYak

Well, I guess I'm kind of happy with how things turned out and he should be happy too because he's so frickin lucky. He got 3 years probation (with random drug testing) and a fine. I'm only kind of happy because I don't have to find a place to stay, but on the other hand I thought there would be a very small chance that if he had to go to rehab he would see how good it is being clean again...

In A Tailspin, I've been off and on with my sobriety... I'm on day 5 again. It's hard for me to focus on myself with all this going on around me I guess, but sometimes I feel like I just use that as an excuse...
As for meetings, I went to my 3rd (4th?) NA meeting the other day and I'm getting a little more comfortable there now.

hope213

jason, i am sorry u r having to go thru all of this. u will be stronger from all of this. you are learning way to young. keep the focus on you. are you a senior? maybe when school is out you can find a room mate & move out. my heart goes out to you. hugs & prayers,

winnie12

Maybe its best for the time being so you can finish school without having to worry about finding a place. once your gone his problem will be his and it wont affect you so much. I know you'll still worry about him but at least you wont have it in your face every day.

Maggiemac

Jason I have been praying for you every day. I hope things work out ok for you. You are very wise for your age I know you will find a way to get through this. God Bless you my young friend.

Praying for you,
Maggiemac

Serenity Bound

Jason, Keep working on you. The meetings will become more comfortable and you will make friends in the program. Day 5 is good, one day at at time.

Praying for both you & your Dad.
Chris

MyJoey

Jason,

I was thinking about you today and hoping all would turn out for the best. You could always let your dad know you are going to meetings and ask him if he would like to join you.........you never know maybe he will.

In a Tailspin

Day 5 is better than day Zero. Don't get discouraged. Find the tools you need - - they are all around you, my friend. Now that you are going to meetings and don't have to uproot to a new place to live, I hope you can focus more on you and what you want in your life. I'm proud of you...........I'm rooting for you...........keep up the good work!