Serenity Bound

As you know my SIL filed for full custody, then was hiding my gd from my daughter. Late Sunday afternoon, he let her see the baby, Monday night daughter moved back with SIL.

The reason I didn't post b/4 is because I'm struggling with myself. I'm very angry and embrassed with myself for:

1. enabling-I didn't have to let her stay at my home (her M.O. is to run whenever there is a problem)

2.taking on what's not mine-I didn't need to get involved in a marriage that is not my own.

3.reactions-telling her not to bother coming back when she called me to say she was spending the night with SIL

4.controlling-I realized that my reaction was actually my trying to control
her life.

I really thought I had a handle on these behaviors, but apparently I do
NOT. I can justify my actions all I want, but the truth is they are taking me to a place I don't want to be.

Thank you for letting me get this off my mind.

HopeSprings

At least you realize where you have room to improve!! Don't beat yourself up over this, learn the lesson and use it! Looks like recovery shining through to me!

MyJoey

Thanks for the update Chris. Now easy on yourself, my I am the worlds worse and you can't have my place, LOL. I hope all works out for the best.

Serenity Bound

hs-somehow I didn't see my recovery in this, thanx

Julie-I'm at my best when beating MYself up lol

cece1960

That has recovery written all over it as I see it.

I've come to learn that I will often have regrets, but what counts is what I learn from the experience. Each one of my "mistakes" takes me one step closer to where I want to be someday.

(((Hugs)))

Serenity Bound

cece, you're right, I do at least see my mistakes now and take the time to think about what I did.

Thanx
Chris

MyJoey

Well Chris,
If you want to run away you can come stay with me. Lets just hope your AD sticks with her recovery, the rest will get better with time. She will see her husband for what he is when she feels the time is right, maybe right now it would just be to much for her and this is how she has to handle things for the time being. Julie

Impurrfect

(((Chris)))

It IS recovery when we are able to see what we are doing and that we no longer want to be in that position. It allows us to figure out what steps to take, so we don't end up there again. If you're like me, you will have to do it in baby steps. No way I could detach in one big step. I had to start with my stepmom and dad by just refusing to get into their drama. I know it's harder for you, because there is a baby involved, but maybe when they get into minor squabbles or "he said/she said" stuff, just don't get involved?

You ARE more aware, and you ARE getting better. Don't beat yourself up. Most of us did the codie thing way longer than we should have, but we eventually found our way out of it. Even then, we still slip up. We're human.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Serenity Bound

Julie, that is so true, I haven't heard from her since Monday nite, so I don't know if she sticking to her recovery.......I pray that she is.....she will have 90 days this sunday if she is.
I really do think she does see her H for what he is, but hey, what do I know. he quacked about getting counseling for himself, I can only pray he will.

Thanks for the offer, ya never know I might just take you up on that
Hugs,
Chris

Serenity Bound

Amy, Thank you. You are such a inspiration to me! Yep, baby steps. I guess I just get irritated with myself, because well h**, I've been in the program for 9 years, that being said I guess I'm just a slow learner. LOL

Hugs,
Chris

Serenity Bound

anvil, Yep, And on top of that I'm an Italian Mom to boot

marle

Serenity, I am trying my hardest to stay out of my daughter's way in her dealings with her boyfriend, but sometimes it is hard when we see them hurting. You still are a mother and we moms do make mistakes. Your daughter has hers coming when she is parenting her children during their teenage and young adult years. Something to look forward to, huh Hugs, Marle

Serenity Bound

Marle, Actually, I told her when she had her first, that I hoped it was a girl just like her