Please Help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1
Please Help
Hello,
My friend was in a serious accident about 10 months ago. She was hospitalized for two months undergoing numerous surgeries. She was sent home with a trunk load of pain meds and another surgery scheduled in Jan. Come Dec. she was in and out of the hospital mostly for pain management, since it was so bad. In Jan she spent about three weeks in hospital, had her surgery and was told the problem was solved and on the road to recovery. Since then she has gone to the er twice, saying she can't keep anything down and she is in sooooo much pain. As I was driving her to the ER all she talked about was getting the IV in and that pain med is much stronger and works much better, and she wont vomit while she is there like last time. I am concerned that she is not really in that much pain and is addicted to the pail pills. Could I be right? I don't want to say this to her if I am way off track. Does she know she is addicted or does she think she is in pain?
Thank you for any help!!!
My friend was in a serious accident about 10 months ago. She was hospitalized for two months undergoing numerous surgeries. She was sent home with a trunk load of pain meds and another surgery scheduled in Jan. Come Dec. she was in and out of the hospital mostly for pain management, since it was so bad. In Jan she spent about three weeks in hospital, had her surgery and was told the problem was solved and on the road to recovery. Since then she has gone to the er twice, saying she can't keep anything down and she is in sooooo much pain. As I was driving her to the ER all she talked about was getting the IV in and that pain med is much stronger and works much better, and she wont vomit while she is there like last time. I am concerned that she is not really in that much pain and is addicted to the pail pills. Could I be right? I don't want to say this to her if I am way off track. Does she know she is addicted or does she think she is in pain?
Thank you for any help!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Worriedfriend))
Welcome to SR!
She could be addicted to pain pills...she wouldn't be the first. Unfortunately, if she is, she is probably also in denial about it.
I'm a recovering addict, and until we WANT to get clean and seek recovery, we will continue to do whatever we can to get our DOC (drugs of choice).
Are these trips to the ER frequent? The reason I'm asking, maybe you could not take her? People who are addicted to pain medicines will find all kinds of reasons to have to go to the ER (I was an ER nurse for years)..they will often go to different ER's, too, as not to draw attention to themselves at one particular ER.
One thing to learn...the 3 c's...you didn't cause it, can't change it and you can't cure it. You've come to a wonderful place, and I hope you will read around here (especially the "stickies"..the posts at the top of the forum...good info there). The more you learn about addiction and the behavior of addicts, the better off you will be.
Addicts aren't bad people...we just make bad decisions. If she has crossed the line into addiction, the best thing you can do is learn all you can and not be manipulated into enabling her...like giving her rides to the ER for more pain medicine if she truly doesn't need it.
I am going through something similar with my stepmom. She had legit pain issues, but has now become addicted to the medicine. It's hard to stand by, and watch someone you care about self-destruct, but they have to "hit bottom" and they won't do it, if we're there to pick them up, all the time, or soften their falls.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Welcome to SR!
She could be addicted to pain pills...she wouldn't be the first. Unfortunately, if she is, she is probably also in denial about it.
I'm a recovering addict, and until we WANT to get clean and seek recovery, we will continue to do whatever we can to get our DOC (drugs of choice).
Are these trips to the ER frequent? The reason I'm asking, maybe you could not take her? People who are addicted to pain medicines will find all kinds of reasons to have to go to the ER (I was an ER nurse for years)..they will often go to different ER's, too, as not to draw attention to themselves at one particular ER.
One thing to learn...the 3 c's...you didn't cause it, can't change it and you can't cure it. You've come to a wonderful place, and I hope you will read around here (especially the "stickies"..the posts at the top of the forum...good info there). The more you learn about addiction and the behavior of addicts, the better off you will be.
Addicts aren't bad people...we just make bad decisions. If she has crossed the line into addiction, the best thing you can do is learn all you can and not be manipulated into enabling her...like giving her rides to the ER for more pain medicine if she truly doesn't need it.
I am going through something similar with my stepmom. She had legit pain issues, but has now become addicted to the medicine. It's hard to stand by, and watch someone you care about self-destruct, but they have to "hit bottom" and they won't do it, if we're there to pick them up, all the time, or soften their falls.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I have a friend whose wife just had brain surgery. This lady has an adult daughter with an opioid addiction and she's not in recovery. Her entire family knows the pattern of going from dependency to addiction.
Unfortunately this lady had already gone through one brain surgery that didn't work, and was still in a lot of pain. Before this latest surgery she was on narcotics for three months, waiting for tests and diagnosis. Now that she's in the clear, she has to wean off the drugs and her neurosurgeon is overseeing it. Everyone in the family knows this is sink or swim time, and it won't be easy. It was unavoidable that she developed a dependency and she will go through physical withdrawals, but if she became an addict or not during this time remains to be seen. Everyone that knows about her daughter is saying extra prayers, that it does not become this lady's reality.
The only thing I can suggest is asking your friend if the doctors ever mentioned the possibility of dependency, and how to taper down, detox. Her answer and actions will tell you everything. If she says no and is telling the truth, at the very least a seed has been planted. If she says no and is lying, what you're seeing will progress. If she says yes and has done nothing about it, she's an addict.
Unfortunately this lady had already gone through one brain surgery that didn't work, and was still in a lot of pain. Before this latest surgery she was on narcotics for three months, waiting for tests and diagnosis. Now that she's in the clear, she has to wean off the drugs and her neurosurgeon is overseeing it. Everyone in the family knows this is sink or swim time, and it won't be easy. It was unavoidable that she developed a dependency and she will go through physical withdrawals, but if she became an addict or not during this time remains to be seen. Everyone that knows about her daughter is saying extra prayers, that it does not become this lady's reality.
The only thing I can suggest is asking your friend if the doctors ever mentioned the possibility of dependency, and how to taper down, detox. Her answer and actions will tell you everything. If she says no and is telling the truth, at the very least a seed has been planted. If she says no and is lying, what you're seeing will progress. If she says yes and has done nothing about it, she's an addict.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Welcome Worried Friend,
Only your friend can determine if she is an addict, if the pain meds are necessary, and what she will do moving forward.
If you ask here what her level of pain is, I can guarentee the answer will be extreme.
And I believe they often are, or at the very least they believe they are in that pain.
I am not a Dr., but it was explained to me that once a person begins regularly taking narcotic pain meds, the body may lose much of its natural ability to cope with pain. Apparently there are hormones that help when in pain, and the frequent user processes less of these. Once the body's chemistry is allowed to return to a more normal hormone level ( i.e. no more pain meds), the pain is felt at a more normal level. My son admits he now feels pain differently.
If true, this makes sense to me. Add to that the natural tendancy for the addict's brain to convince them they need the drug for the pain and you have on heck of a convincing arguement.
The best advice you can give is for her to speak to her doctor. The best advice I can give you is to let it be her problem not yours.
I know thats easier said than done
(((Hugs)))
Only your friend can determine if she is an addict, if the pain meds are necessary, and what she will do moving forward.
If you ask here what her level of pain is, I can guarentee the answer will be extreme.
And I believe they often are, or at the very least they believe they are in that pain.
I am not a Dr., but it was explained to me that once a person begins regularly taking narcotic pain meds, the body may lose much of its natural ability to cope with pain. Apparently there are hormones that help when in pain, and the frequent user processes less of these. Once the body's chemistry is allowed to return to a more normal hormone level ( i.e. no more pain meds), the pain is felt at a more normal level. My son admits he now feels pain differently.
If true, this makes sense to me. Add to that the natural tendancy for the addict's brain to convince them they need the drug for the pain and you have on heck of a convincing arguement.
The best advice you can give is for her to speak to her doctor. The best advice I can give you is to let it be her problem not yours.
I know thats easier said than done
(((Hugs)))
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