dor5711

Hope everyone is hanging in there and doing well. Just giving an update. The AXBF is still trying to make contact. He showed up at my 85 year old mother's house two weeks ago and scared her to death. He then went to a local church's pastor and had him call me. He wanted his tools. I told the pastor, with all due respect, that I want nothing to do with him, he doesn't even have a vehicle to get his tools and did he look like he was capable of working anyway? He called me that night and left a message and I erased it without even listening. But the saga continues because at 7:20 this morning I had 3 detectives (I think -- I was still sleeping) banging on my front and back door looking for him. Once again, I told them he did not live here and hadn't for a year and he was at his mother's the last I heard --- I even gave them the address. It's just unbelievable how it doesn't end. Meanwhile I am going through alot with my 18 year old son right now and joined a support group for parents of teens with mental illness (he was diagnosed with BiPolar and he is also into pot). I have to say that I learned alot going through the BF's drinking and I am not making the same mistakes with my son --- I refuse to let him control me. So I am taking one day at a time and trying hard not to predict what might happen tomorrow.

Hugs,
Doreen

Impurrfect

((Doreen)) - good to hear from you! It sounds like you are doing great, and I'm glad to hear that what you learned with XABF is helping you with your son. Good for you, on finding a support group!!!

I've found, that no matter what life throws at me, the best way to handle it, is to stay in today and reach out for support

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Ago

I would leave his tools and all of his things out in the street (letting him know ahead of time) so he had no reason to contact me, or leave them with his pastor.

They are his tools, and as long as you have them, he has a valid reason to contact you.

FlwrofFrgttng

second that. maybe not on the street but definitely with the pastor.

GiveLove

Sounds like an excellent solution, dor, above.

But it sounds like he was just looking for a way to get you to enable him again (protect him from whatever he's done this time....)

I'd put those things outside and have the pastor let him know. Or give them to the pastor, if he's all buddy-buddy with your X.

So glad you checked in -- good luck with your son

dor5711

This pastor was actually just from a local church who he decided to involve in his life. Never met him before that one night. So I wouldn't want to involve the man further.

Another update......supposedly he tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists with a kitchen knife right in front of his mother and brother and said he wanted to die. This was after his other brother caught him with a vodka bottle and then called the police to find him after he took a knife and ran. The suicide attempt came after the police gave up and he showed up back at the mother's house. He didn't succeed obviously but he did sever some tendons and is currently in the hospital where I hope they finally keep him. He is obviously crying out for help but refuses to accept it when it is offered. I feel very sad for this man I used to care about. But it's not my problem.

I will have a garage sale once the weather turns warmer and all the tools and such will be SOLD. He won't be looking for those tools anytime soon.

Thanks,
Doreen