sojourner

Many of you know my story with 22 AS. Last week he got kicked out of extended family's home (a black hole of enabling). He wanted to come here, i said no. So i guess he's been bumming around with girlfriend who it seems is also homeless. Last night he came here looking to sleep here. "I promise, tomorrow i'm going to call that number you gave me. Just let me stay here tonight and bring in my bags from the car to put in the basement. It's just two bags." To my "no," he tried to guilt me into defending my statements. No is a complete sentence. He left, and i have no clue where he went.

Honestly, i grieved his death months ago. He is the walking dead. He is living in zombieland. I've got nothing for him right now.

Pray for me to know the next right thing to do in spite of the anger and betrayal i seem to be seething with right now. He will be back, later in the day of course when all the "numbers" are closed for the day.

Serenity Bound

You did good!!! I'm so proud of you! Take a Breathe, stay firm and know that you are doing the only thing you can do for both you & your AS.

"one moment at a time"

Hugs & Prayers coming your way.
Chris

grateful2b

oh, this is, just, so hard, but we know, if there is 'any chance for them to get there, we must hold that line...my thoughts and heartfelt prayers are with you today, Sojourner, along with some big momma hugs..prayers also that your son will make that right call...

Impurrfect

From this recovering addict, you did the right thing! I always found a place to go, when I had "nowhere to go". Truth was, I CHOSE the lifestyle that left me nowhere to go. I ended up with no bags, no clothes, sleeping (when I did sleep) in empty apts. I snuck into, because I'd rather spend my money on crack than a motel room....did this for a long time, until law enforcement caught up with me and I got my "3 hots and a cot" for a while.

Remember, sweetie, this is OUR CHOICE...we can make the the decision to get off the addiction roller coaster at any time. As long as someone enables us, it only makes us put off that decision longer. By saying "no", you have done your part in letting him see what the consequences of his choices are.

I know it's not easy, and it hurts, but you are, most definitely, doing the right thing.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

splendra

(((((( sojourner))))))

I am so sorry for you and your son.

I have a brother who was living in my mom's unfinished basement. A couple of weeks ago he came up stairs drunk and probably drugged up and started tearing up my mom's house. My sister and I pushed him outside and called the law.

I sat down and talked with my mom and told her she was going to have to stay strong and not let him come back. He has a pending court case for which he could likely be doing some time. He knows all about the program and was at one time a counselor at a homeless shelter for several years. He helped a lot of people and now he is worse than anyone I have ever seen, he is homeless, and stays bombed out of his mind most of the time. He stopped by a couple of nights ago and tried to gain entry. I told him thru the door to leave or I would call the cops.

The man is 55 years old and it just really tears me up that we have to turn our own family members away. My mom is old and sick and she feels so guilty about my addicted siblings. I know her heart hurts so bad just like yours does.

Just remember by not allowing him in to ruin your life you are doing a good thing. It is not just to allow it. Love cannot exist without justice. Be at peace, be gentle with yourself.

Callie

I'm so sorry, how hard that must have been for you. You did the right thing though. Keep posting and stay strong. It broke my heart to deny my AH coming home and he HAD a place to stay (with his mom).

winnie12

i have so much respect for your strength in doing what is best for your son. I hope I never have to make such a tough decision but if i am in that situation i hope i handle it with the strength you did.

Seren

Oh, sojourner, I am praying for you and your son as I am praying for my BF and his son. My BF has had such a hard time lately with kicking his son out and letting him flail about trying to find his way....but it IS the best thing. I hope your son finds his recovery soon, and I hope that my BF finds the strength, too, to do the next right thing.

Best, HG

HurtingDad

Amy (Impurrfect) once again has helped out by telling you that what you did is what needed to be done. (Thanks Amy)
Doesn't make it any easier, but Amy has been there and done that.

Prayers and wishes for your son to make the right choices, as I wish my AS would. Take care of yourself.

outtolunch

The easiest thing to do would be to cave. Easy is often not the best thing.

I hope to have your strength if and when.....

marle

Sending hugs and prayers. My daughter's boyfriend is not an addict, but today I got a big aha moment from observing how his parent's enabling have literally crippled him. So stand strong. Your son absolutely, positively can get clean and he can make the calls and do the next right thing. There is hope. Don't get in the way. Hugs, Marle

sojourner

as we speak, AS and his girlfriend are in the basement going through his stuff. Their plan is he and this gal have decided to go to FL to stay where her father is. He is going to send them the money to get there.

Will they go? don't know. if they do, they cannot outrun God.

But, like i said, he's walking dead. He's in zombieland doing what zombies do. Ditto for this girlfriend.

thanks for all your replies. I did cry earlier today when I read some of them. This is hard to do if I let my emotions surface. But this is not time for emotions. Like soldiers in war say, the time for praying is before the battle. once the battle starts, it time for fighting. No energy to think about anything else....