lovemykids

She said that she was doing ok. She also said that she cried yesterday because they have not yet given her hormone pills to her yet, a prescription from a specialist. She has not had one since dinner time last Thursday. She entered rehab this past Friday.

She doesn't want us to call just yet about that, said she would talk to the man in charge today. I will call tomorrow to check up and make sure that she is getting them.

She also mentioned that she is eating a lot and needs us to send her a couple of pairs of bigger pants. I am sending her a care package through puralator today. Things which we did not pack and I am sending her a teddy bear with a heart that says "I love you" on it along with another months supply of hormone pills.

She is keeping busy though which is great, they get up through the week at 6:15a.m , get ready, have breakfast, meetings and then school....lots of cleaning too.

One girl there had told me that she wanted to leave a few times, I asked her why and she said because of all of the cleaning they had to do.

I am so thankful that my daughter is in there getting the help she needs but at the same time I miss her so much. It is an ache in my heart. I can live with the ache in my heart, she cannot live without this help.

Thanks for listening

Impurrfect

I can understand you miss her, but I'm glad she is in a place where she gets help. That is too funny about all the cleaning they do I was in a diversion center...basically a work release place, and we had to clean all the time. The sargeant told us he didn't want us to like it there...he wanted us to not want to come back!

I hope they get her back on her hormones...mine can make me a crazy person, but it sounds like she is doing really good at trying to handle the issue by herself.

The teddy bear is a really nice thing to do, and I'm sure she will appreciate it.

It's great that she is doing something so positive at a young age. Now that she is in rehab, it's a great time to focus on you

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

lovemykids

Thanks so much Amy,

But now I am totally confused......I got my husband to call the rehab center to let them know about the hormone pills, we were going to wait until tomorrow but I thought it wouldn't hurt to call today even though my daughter said no she would talk to the man today.

My husband called and they checked, she has gotten them on time everyday except for the 15th when she didn't show up on time. It has all been logged they said.

Why would she lie to me about that? maybe I misunderstood? I don't think that I did but......I am now questioning myself.

MsPINKAcres

Why are you questioning yourself and not doubting someone who has repeatedly lied to you in the past?

Sweetie - not trying to be harsh - but this is what the disease does to US!!!

We will automatically think we are crazy when the A's in our lives manipulate, lie, embellish the story and do outlandish things. There is no understanding to why an A will do what an A will do.

The main thing is that you know she is getting the meds she needs. Trying to figure out why she would lie about something - hmm might be easier to ask a Pine Tree why it grows Pine Needles - lol.

Sweetie that is just some of the typical behaviors of A's.

Please know it's not about you. She may not even know why she is doing it. It's just part of the disease.

Glad she is getting help and you are reaching out for help for you too. That's a win/win situation!!

HUGS, (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Rita

winnie12

When i first read your post i immediately thought your AD is not telling you the truth but i held my tounge because sometimes i can be pessimistic. I told myself - I hope her daughter is not like my son. I say this because my son is a type 1 diabetic and he constantly uses that to get my attention. He has told me upteen times how they arent taking care of his medical needs in jail/rehab/hospital - where-ever he is. Even before rehab he would manipulate his blood sugars just to get my attention. He would get caught using and he would allow his bs to go so low that he would have a seizure - who does that but someone who is desperate?

This is a big tool the addict child uses against the mom. Our first and foremost priority until they are adults is to keep them healthy. A normal loving mother will drop everything in her life when her child has a medical need. So what do you think is the biggest thing she can use to get your sympathy and to bring your attention onto her? Think about it - she lied to you to get your attention, affection, whatever you want to call it and you were already packing up a bunch of presents along with more meds for her. She also told you she was gaining weight and needed bigger pants - okay she's only been there a few days and she's grown out of her clothes already? again - this is a mom trigger - my baby needs clothes - hurry hurry send her clothes. she had you scrambling getting everything packed up so you could fix her problems.

I know that you love your daughter just like i do my son. I would love nothing more then to be able to spoil him - but spoiling him right now means i'm just adding time onto his recovery. I dont jump anymore when he says he wants or needs something. I dont jump when he says someone else isnt taking care of him because 99.9% of the time i find out he is exaggerating or they cant help him because he is being uncooperative.

Your daughter is in rehab - she is obviously not in a rational state of mind or she wouldnt be there so dont question why she would lie - she's an addict and addicts lie about everything. Take some time and read through the stickies on this page because they may help you spot the trends and the manipulation as it happens.

Impurrfect

Gee, obviously I have a bit to learn about the kids in rehab and their medical issues! Thanks (((Winnie))) and (((Rita))) for straigthening me out about that! I'm used to the general lies, and manipulation...just not used to the medical issues, but I'm learning! What's funny, though, is Brit, my 15-year-old niece, will be complaining of pain, I'll be telling her "take an ibuprofen", stepmom will take her to the ER, and they give her DILAUDID IV!! The addict in me knows which ER to go to, the recovery side of me knows which one to stay the he!! away from!

((Lovemykids)) - I'm so glad you've found us. I, obviously, am learning a lot from your posts, too. The moms (and dads) here are an endless supply of ES&H (experience, strength and hope).

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Serenity Bound

That's what addicts DO!!! I don't even think my RAD thinks twice about it, lying is almost second nature to her. Don't doubt yourself.

Winnie said it all, the A's manipulate us mom's like you wouldn't believe. Using the I'm not getting my meds "card" to I NEED this, that the other (clothes, cigs, etc) "card" Anything to get our attention on them.
And you know they don't even have to ask us, they just allude to what they need and by God, us 'codies" have to get it for them.

Of course you miss her, just know that she is in a better place right now, then out somewhere using.

Try to take care of yourself....perhaps meetings and keep reading & posting here.

Hugs,
Chris

Spiritual Seeker

Welcome from another parent.

We learn " to never do for them what they ought do for themselves."
Good for your AD that she said "She doesn't want you to call just yet about that, said she would talk to the man in charge today"
Let her learn to become self-reliant.
If she was able to figure out how to get her drugs she can figure out how to get her meds.

Take this time to redirect your focus. Take a break.
We must be careful not to pad every rough patch for our kids.

lovemykids

Thanks again everyone for such great support.

I think now after reading all of the posts that my daughter didn't want us to call the rehab center regarding her hormone pills because she would know that she would have gotten caught in a lie.

I had my husband read everyone's response and he said to me that she has been lieing to us for a very long time. Your posts have helped us both, more then I can ever put into words .

The package that I sent her were things that she needed, I just picked up the bear so that she could give it a hug when she was feeling down etc...I bought her sister the same bear and told her sister that when she misses her sister to give it a hug and that her sister would be hugging her bear too, just so that they could still feel close to each other. I guess she may have not needed the jeans though, it is true that she has only been there a few days.

She can't leave to get those things herself and we live a little over 3 hours away. As I am typing this I just remembered that I forgot to send her winter boots.....ugh. Too much on my mind.

Done_With_It

Big Hugs to you. I would try not to worry about the lie. As said it's just what addicts do. It's about her not you. It is how she is making sense of her world right now, sadly to say for so long we use drugs to survive they change us into liars and different people, then when we try and get clean our whole world is like trying to drive backwards on the freeway and we have to figure it out, and we know it's our own fault.
Maybe in her own head she is looking for an excuse an justification for reasons why she is 'feeling' so much so she's saying it's the pills or no pills. Who knows what she is thinking. But it's about her, take it with a grain of salt.

The more and more she gets into recovery, hopefully you will keep seeing changes in her. It just takes a long time. We do a lot of damage to our
brains, hearts and souls with the drugs we do.
Best thing you can do is TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST. In the end that is what will help her the most also.


I think you should buy you a bear also, cuz I bet you'll be needing some
hugs too. Then you and your girls will all have the same bear. :praying

winnie12

I think your dead on about why she didnt want you to call.

I want you to know i'm not giving you a hard time for sending her things - even gifts. She's still a young girl and away from home. My AS is 16 and in rehab so I know it makes us both feel good to do nice things for him sometimes. They are more vuneralble being away from home. I try to do those nice things when its something that I want to do but not as an emotional response to him. Not sure if that makes sense but if i find i'm trying to make him feel better about his situation then i'm trying to fix things for him which doesnt work. if i do something nice for him because i want to then it is a true gift. We keep it small and meaningful when we do. Even just sending some family photos really brightens his spirits and helps him to feel like we're all still here for him.