Down In The Dumps...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Down In The Dumps...
I really feel the need to vent this morning, so here goes… I am so completely exhausted and depressed because I am almost always sick. I have not felt well since the beginning of the year. I had a sinus infection that flared up my fibromyalgia so bad, that if I get anything done in a day it’s a surprise. My IBS has been horrible and I hardly eat for fear of the cramping pain.
This morning I was most definitely going to make it to Pilates – but here I sit on the internet. My head and stomach hurt so bad there was no way I could make it. I will try to do a little exercise in awhile “if” I feel better.
Sorry I am whining so much, it seems like I do that Toomutch, lol .
I just want to feel free from the pain and the fatigue that is with me every single day. I want to do all the things I used to do. I guess I feel trapped by my illnesses, and I get really tired of people thinking they know what’s best for me, when they have no idea what I’m going through.
I am starting to get depressed again, but my meds are keeping me from sinking too far. I don’t really feel like drinking, but I think of when I was drinking, I didn’t feel the pain as much and in some ways I got more accomplished. Or maybe that is just the demon talking.
I will quit rambling now, I just wanted to vent and maybe find someone to keep me company today, while I’m at home once again.
Suz
This morning I was most definitely going to make it to Pilates – but here I sit on the internet. My head and stomach hurt so bad there was no way I could make it. I will try to do a little exercise in awhile “if” I feel better.
Sorry I am whining so much, it seems like I do that Toomutch, lol .
I just want to feel free from the pain and the fatigue that is with me every single day. I want to do all the things I used to do. I guess I feel trapped by my illnesses, and I get really tired of people thinking they know what’s best for me, when they have no idea what I’m going through.
I am starting to get depressed again, but my meds are keeping me from sinking too far. I don’t really feel like drinking, but I think of when I was drinking, I didn’t feel the pain as much and in some ways I got more accomplished. Or maybe that is just the demon talking.
I will quit rambling now, I just wanted to vent and maybe find someone to keep me company today, while I’m at home once again.
Suz
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
So sorry you are going through this Suzette. Its got to be horrible to live with constant pain. I know someone else on here that has that cross to bear too. Not fun! I am glad to hear you are on medicine for depression. That's really good news!
As far as not feeling the pain while drinking, I hear that often on here and I might have even used the word "numb" too, but when I remember back its that the drinking intensified the pain and the bad situation. I was thinking about that recently after my husband made the comment that it was good to see me so happy. I was thinking to myself, "I was happy back when I was drinking, wasn't I?" I really wasn't.
Any ways, from one rambler to another, I'm praying for ease and strength to enter your life and some much deserved happiness Suzette. Love ya!!
As far as not feeling the pain while drinking, I hear that often on here and I might have even used the word "numb" too, but when I remember back its that the drinking intensified the pain and the bad situation. I was thinking about that recently after my husband made the comment that it was good to see me so happy. I was thinking to myself, "I was happy back when I was drinking, wasn't I?" I really wasn't.
Any ways, from one rambler to another, I'm praying for ease and strength to enter your life and some much deserved happiness Suzette. Love ya!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi Suz,
I certainly can't know just how you feel, but I'm sending you my support, some prayers and a hug hoping that will help a teensy bit.
So sorry you are having a rough go of it right now.
(((((( Toomutch )))))
I certainly can't know just how you feel, but I'm sending you my support, some prayers and a hug hoping that will help a teensy bit.
So sorry you are having a rough go of it right now.
(((((( Toomutch )))))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Suzette)))
I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and I can't imagine living with the constant pain.
My stepmom also has chronic pain. Unfortunately, she denies she has a "problem" with pain pills and continues to take more and more. Guess what? It not only isn't helping her, it is turning our house into a living he!! and is setting some really bad examples for my 15-year-old niece, who she is a guardian to, and we are raising.
So, I just wanted to point out, that you are doing an awesome job by NOT drinking and I truly admire you. You are an awesome mom, and your kids have someone to look up to. They are learning some of the most valuable lessons in life from you...how to get through really tough times, without turning to substances.
Give yourself a pat on the back, sweetie...you're doing great!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm sorry you're having a bad day, and I can't imagine living with the constant pain.
My stepmom also has chronic pain. Unfortunately, she denies she has a "problem" with pain pills and continues to take more and more. Guess what? It not only isn't helping her, it is turning our house into a living he!! and is setting some really bad examples for my 15-year-old niece, who she is a guardian to, and we are raising.
So, I just wanted to point out, that you are doing an awesome job by NOT drinking and I truly admire you. You are an awesome mom, and your kids have someone to look up to. They are learning some of the most valuable lessons in life from you...how to get through really tough times, without turning to substances.
Give yourself a pat on the back, sweetie...you're doing great!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Hi Suz! My heart goes out to you with the pain you are feeling! I'm glad you're not thinking about "drinking"!!! I can attest that it will not make things any better... maybe relieve the pain for a minute but will just open doors to much more pain to follow!
My prayers and thoughts are with you!!! I pray for healing for you!:praying
My prayers and thoughts are with you!!! I pray for healing for you!:praying
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
(((Suzette)))
fellow sufferer here...and I know how the mental stress of dealing with chronic pain can wear us down..it is just really hard...and it was my need to numb myself from that and the pain that led me into addiction in the first place...
our best defense is self care and a good support system and detaching from those who do not understand our spot, but feel they know best.
you did the best thing you could do for you today..you came here to get the love and support you need...be gentle, give yourself what you physically need today and let the rest go for now...big hugs...and my thoughts and prayers, grateful
fellow sufferer here...and I know how the mental stress of dealing with chronic pain can wear us down..it is just really hard...and it was my need to numb myself from that and the pain that led me into addiction in the first place...
our best defense is self care and a good support system and detaching from those who do not understand our spot, but feel they know best.
you did the best thing you could do for you today..you came here to get the love and support you need...be gentle, give yourself what you physically need today and let the rest go for now...big hugs...and my thoughts and prayers, grateful
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by grateful2b 
(((Suzette)))
fellow sufferer here...and I know how the mental stress of dealing with chronic pain can wear us down..it is just really hard...and it was my need to numb myself from that and the pain that led me into addiction in the first place...
our best defense is self care and a good support system and detaching from those who do not understand our spot, but feel they know best.
you did the best thing you could do for you today..you came here to get the love and support you need...be gentle, give yourself what you physically need today and let the rest go for now...big hugs...and my thoughts and prayers, grateful
fellow sufferer here...and I know how the mental stress of dealing with chronic pain can wear us down..it is just really hard...and it was my need to numb myself from that and the pain that led me into addiction in the first place...
our best defense is self care and a good support system and detaching from those who do not understand our spot, but feel they know best.
you did the best thing you could do for you today..you came here to get the love and support you need...be gentle, give yourself what you physically need today and let the rest go for now...big hugs...and my thoughts and prayers, grateful
It saddens me to know you live with this too. However it does give each of us someone to relate with. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 6
this 2 shall pass,hoefully
hi, its nice 2 meet u, sorry u are feeling like s**t 2day &for awhile now. Ilive in chronic pain, im detoxing myself slowly cause they wont, off my meds, it makes my mind worse. If you got stability & ur needs r met, then take the time for U!!!! U Deserve it! somewhere in thr bible,it says take care of you, or your no good 4 others or is that the AA big book, it dont matter, rest, there is a time 4 rest, that I know comes from the bible lol take care this 2 shall pass, u sound positive, so thats holding u afloat. im new here, this is my 1st reply, so forgive me i know not what i do!!!! 
honest i didn't lol take care & peace&Blessings:ghug3
honest i didn't lol take care & peace&Blessings:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi Toomutch,
I have a friend who has chronic fatique syndrome, as well as fibro, so I am somewhat familiar with some of your condition, however I'm not knowledgeable about pain mgmt. My friend takes alot of long baths, which she claims helps her to relax and feel refreshed. Some days, she's just a couch potatoe, and on other days she's raring to go. She's on quite a variety of drugs, some of which I can't even spell or pronouce. She says she hates taking them, but they help ease her conditions abit. Hopefully, your GP can reassess your conditions and possibly find a better combination that allows you more freedom of movement, so to speak. If not, like I tell my friend, sometimes being a couch potatoe is just what the doctor ordered and she's, like you, the only one who knows when that is. If today's a kickback and watch the boobtube day, then just relax and enjoy the shows. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
Wishing you a fast recovery.
I have a friend who has chronic fatique syndrome, as well as fibro, so I am somewhat familiar with some of your condition, however I'm not knowledgeable about pain mgmt. My friend takes alot of long baths, which she claims helps her to relax and feel refreshed. Some days, she's just a couch potatoe, and on other days she's raring to go. She's on quite a variety of drugs, some of which I can't even spell or pronouce. She says she hates taking them, but they help ease her conditions abit. Hopefully, your GP can reassess your conditions and possibly find a better combination that allows you more freedom of movement, so to speak. If not, like I tell my friend, sometimes being a couch potatoe is just what the doctor ordered and she's, like you, the only one who knows when that is. If today's a kickback and watch the boobtube day, then just relax and enjoy the shows. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
Wishing you a fast recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
I think I need to runaway to get any peace. My son keeps running in and out to the breaker box because he is useing to much power 9 and of corse he needs to slam the door each time he goes in and out making everything in the house shake.
My daughter informed me that I not only need to get her over to the school this afternoon to head across town for a basketball game, but I will be a taxi for other girls too.
I have laundry stacked to the ceiling and my puppy just peed in my bed through the comforter all the way down to the mattress.
VENTING!!!!
My daughter informed me that I not only need to get her over to the school this afternoon to head across town for a basketball game, but I will be a taxi for other girls too.
I have laundry stacked to the ceiling and my puppy just peed in my bed through the comforter all the way down to the mattress.
VENTING!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Sorry to hear about the physical problems! Just a thought: do you feel like you have everything diognosed? It sounds like you are aware of most of your physical ills, but maybe there is something there that has gone undetected? A thorough physical is always a good idea. And, it's a good idea, especially before getting sober and after getting sober.
I can relate to the fatigue. I have had that problem since getting sober. Big naps, smack in the middle of the day. Usually when I was drinking I would pass out from intoxication, now I really am tired from just being tired!
I've been thinking that I need to change my eating habits. Sometimes I go all morning without breakfast and then have a heavy lunch, maybe that is throwing my blood sugar out of wack.
I can relate to the fatigue. I have had that problem since getting sober. Big naps, smack in the middle of the day. Usually when I was drinking I would pass out from intoxication, now I really am tired from just being tired!
I've been thinking that I need to change my eating habits. Sometimes I go all morning without breakfast and then have a heavy lunch, maybe that is throwing my blood sugar out of wack.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
There may be something there that is undetected, I had my gallbladder out Oct. 31, I am now having buckling over pains in that same general area. I am going for an MRI of my bile ducts next week.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Feeling desperate and self destructive right now - I've lost my rational mind and I'm feeling anxious. I have ativan for these situations but I am choosing not to take it right now. I think being sick is driving me more crazy than I already am...
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Suzette, it could be alot worse, you could look like this poor fool! lol
On a serious note, I think you know that I can completely identify with what you're going through. I have pain everyday and with my immune system being pretty low, I can get a cold that will go into Pneumonia in a day or two. . . and it sucks.
I'm wondering how much of your feeling out of sorts is due to winter time blahs, I know for me, winter is getting to me. Also, aren't you coming up on a big anniversary date next week? Everytime I get to a milestone in my Recovery, it seems like although I know I have accomplished quite a lot, in the back of my mind, I can't help but feel like I should be feeling better about myself in every aspect. But when we have these chronic conditions, it does hold us back, but only physically! Focus on how many positive changes you have made, which are many. You have grown so much over the past, what, 11 3/4 months.
Unfortunately, we have to accept the cards we have been dealt and learn that we will have to live with these conditions. I find that at times, I begin to let the diseases control me and when this happens, I need to stand up to it, just like I did the disease of addiction and REFUSE to let it control me any longer . . . I take control!!
I do this by scheduling the physical things that I have to do in short, intervals. I know you can't change the time of your kid's activities to suit your schedule, but the other things, like cleaning, shopping, laundry, make yourself out a schedule so to speak. And schedule time for yourself to take a nap somewhere in there. . . even if it's just to lay down, close your eyes and rest for a half an hour. I know sometimes I feel like since I neglected so many things for so many years, I need to be Superwoman now.
As far as the door slamming and so on, sit your son down and explain to him that the door slamming is like fingernails down a chalkboard. He may not realize he's doing it. For him, it's just normal. Boys are boys . . . and with boys, we got noise! lol
Hang in there Hon, this too shall pass. Springtime is right around the corner with it's fresh air, opened windows, flowers blooming and birds singing. I know the sound of the salt trucks and snow plows is getting really old to me!
I'm here for you . . . always,
Judy
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((toomutch))))
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Hang in there and don't give up. Easier said than done, I know! I totally understand about the stomach pain. I hope you can get it checked out. Remember we are here for you!
Love,
Lenina
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Hang in there and don't give up. Easier said than done, I know! I totally understand about the stomach pain. I hope you can get it checked out. Remember we are here for you!
Love,
Lenina
Eternal optimist
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: northeast
Posts: 293
Originally Posted by Toomutch
I think I need to runaway to get any peace. My son keeps running in and out to the breaker box because he is useing to much power 9 and of corse he needs to slam the door each time he goes in and out making everything in the house shake.
My daughter informed me that I not only need to get her over to the school this afternoon to head across town for a basketball game, but I will be a taxi for other girls too.
I have laundry stacked to the ceiling and my puppy just peed in my bed through the comforter all the way down to the mattress.
VENTING!!!!
My daughter informed me that I not only need to get her over to the school this afternoon to head across town for a basketball game, but I will be a taxi for other girls too.
I have laundry stacked to the ceiling and my puppy just peed in my bed through the comforter all the way down to the mattress.
VENTING!!!!
You described what my house is like some days, and when you're under the weather this just makes you want to scream!! I hope you feel better and things settle down for you. Vent away my friend, that's why we're here for each other :praying
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 275
tho' i can't relate to non-stop pain....it doesn't mean i can't hurt for you toomutch. here's hoping tomorrow is better than today. good luck lady. i've always enjoyed your testimonials on here and feel sad that you are hurting.:ghug3
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