Sara9009

My Mom came on vacation this week and she enjoys a beer every couple of days or a nice glass of wine with dinner. She knew I stopped drinking but I wanted to balance my needs with her desire to have a nice vacation so we decided to have her just buy one beer and see how that went. Surprisingly, it didn't bother me at all and she was able to have beer in the fridge w/o me wanting it. I did pour the last few bottles out when I got home from the airport because I didn't want it so easily accessible.

The only time I was a little sad not to drink was when we went to a really nice Seafood Restaurant last night. I had a little conversation with my head or as some people know my drinking troll. It pretty much went like this "Oh, I want some that looks really good." followed with a "You can't have that you moron and you aren't going to so might as well enjoy this excellent food." Then I just enjoyed my dinner and didn't think about it again.

Anyhow, you have to buy the wine by the bottle so she said she wouldn't get any and I told her I was fine. She had about a glass and a half or so and she left the rest of the bottle which of course in my drinking time would have been tantamount to sacrilege. I definitely would not have tried this little experiment 2 months ago but I am really happy that I could not drink when someone else was... even though it was a really controlled environment since my Mom probably would have smacked me over the head with one of the bottles if I picked it up to take a drink.

Anyhow, how long did it take before you could watch others drink w/o really desiring it?

Personally, I think I am ready for a controlled setting like that but wouldn't go to a bar or a large BBQ where everyone is drinking because it would just be a severe annoyance. I wouldn't drink but I would feel really sketchy during and after.

TryingSoHard

Good for you! That's progress for sure.

I don't think I'm there yet. We were at dinner with some friends about 3 weeks ago and the guy got a sour apple martini. I was sitting next to him and I kept looking at the martini glass, imagining what it tasted like, and "sniffing" more than usual to see if I could smell the alcohol at all (I could).

That's something else - I seem to have an incredibly acute sense of smell related to alcohol now. Seemed like I never noticed it before, but now that I don't drink I can smell it if it's anywhere near me. It's odd.

My husband went out to eat without me a week ago and when he came home I could tell he'd been drinking. Not because he was acting drunk, but because I could smell it on him. He sat next to me and I was almost getting a buzz/head rush just from his breath. It freaked me out and I didn't even SEE him drink.

So I dunno. I tell everyone that I'm perfectly ok if they want to drink in front of me (most people don't know that I've quit much less why) but really my mind won't shut off until the drink is gone.

doorknob

I go to karaoke on occasion and it usually doesn't bother me, unless people start getting really obnoxious and/or invading my personal space.

Sara9009

TSH - I have noticed that too about alcohol smelling more potent. When we were in a store yesterday someone standing next to me just reeked of beer and I said something to my Mom and she was like I can't smell it. To me it smelled like they had just taken a bath in beer.

Sara9009

Isn't it interesting how obnoxious intoxicated people are now?

Anna

For me, it took months before I was okay around others drinking.

At about three weeks sober, I went to a neighborhood party. My stress level rose continuously through the evening, as people drank. I really, really white-knuckled it through the evening and was miserable, but I didn't drink. However, the next day I went out and bought a bottle of wine. So...I realized that I needed to stay away from alcohol for quite awhile.

yeahgr8

Ive been out with a friend and got hom some beers when he came to stay, not really a big deal but not exactly thrilling for me lol Somehow moving from one bar to another in Barcelona centre loses it's appeal when you drink coffees, it was boring enough when i was getting drunk!!!

I couldn't go out into a group situation at night though, i just would'nt want to do it,. once again it was boring when i was drinking so sober no thanks:-)

ViciousCycle

I decided I was not going to give up things, like bowling, just because I did not drink. I refuse to let alcohol dictate what I do, it led me by the nose in dark times, I refuse to let it in happy times........I think the desire may always be there, if even for a brief moment........like watching your mom.......but she stopped after a glass and a half? I would have killed the bottle and ordered another!
You made all the right moves......but like people have said in this forum, it is like ending a relationship.......there will be pangs for awhile....but you will eventually find peace with this. Hugs.

yeahgr8

VC i got as far as this:

I think the desire may always be there, if even for a brief moment........like watching your mom

Reread it 3 times before i saw the extra dots! I think my eyes are tired and will get some sleep...sorry i had to share that hehe

Gnite x

TryingSoHard

LOL! Totally!

CAPTAINZING2000

If, I'm surrounded by friends that are social drinkers, this doesn't bother me at all.

I don't have any purpose for being in a bar so, that leaves out being around heavy drinkers.

Most wedding receptions by the time the dancing starts, I'm ready to leave any way.

I personally, won't have alcohol in my house though

ViciousCycle

You guys are naughty.............LOL! I better start proof reading!

Mariposa18

I"m actually okay around others drinking so far, but Hubby only has 1-2 beers at a time and very seldom. haven't been in a situation where people where constantly drinking and I couldn't leave. I don't know how I would feel at say a BBQ where everyone was drinking. I know I would NOT have a drink by any means, I just don't know how I'd feel being there or afterwards, you know?

BKP

Others don't bother me when they drink. But going to the bars i use to drink in made me feel ashamed, i guess i was really feeling guilty for some bad memories and choices. It is good though, keeps my little ass in check.

justalittleone

[QUOTE=Sara9009;2111425]

Anyhow, how long did it take before you could watch others drink w/o really desiring it?

QUOTE]

My boyfriend keeps a beer (or three) in the fridge; it used to be that they wouldn't be there when he got home. Now, I just let them sit there, and it doesn't hurt me too badly. Except for today, when I bought a beer instead of fresh fruit. But lately, because of my desire to really stop, it doesn't seem to bother me too badly to see others indulge. I just have to look out for my poor judgement when it comes to what I should do.

CarolD

Hmm...
I was about 6 months into this sobriety when
I begin playing cards once more with drinkers.

The 3 of them were beer and bourbon drinkers Yuk!
Had they been scotch drinkers.....I would have not gone.

I made it clear that I was staying for only 3 games
not because of the booze...but the bidding got too sloppy!

2 of those friends have died from alcohol.
The 3rd is well on her way...

The less you have to do with alcohol ..regardless of
situations... ...the better....IMO

Samsonsworld

Been sober 9 days and I have a conference next week at which all my co-workers will be drinking. What, at least for me, is the one thing worse than watching somebody else drink beer? That would be them drinking 'free' beer, courtesy of vendors trying to get our business. I recon I'm fixing (that's still a word outside of Texas, right?) to find out if I can handle it.

Philly

I find this one of the hardest things especially when it is my husband doing the drinking. I did have a Christmas Eve party at my house and I was ok not good but ok. It is getting better. I am at almost 7 months sober now and I do want to still do some of the things I did before. I am contemplating going back to Vegas in the next couple of months. The first time I was there was over 10 years ago and that probably started my drinking career. But I love the food, shows and the gambling so I am going to give it a try.

I think the worst might be a wedding but fortunating I have not had to attend one yet. I think it is all about getting more time in sober.

Music man

Yeah, I can't believe I used to smell like that. It is putrid!!
So obnoxious God don't they know how stupid they are???
I can say that now, 3 weeks ago I was that guy, man what a lesson learned.

I was just passing the bowling alley yesterday and thinking, I wonder If I can bowl without drinking?
how funny!!


To answer this question, it will be different for everyone, I was out to eat last night and the girl at the table next to me had a glass of wine.
I couldn't stop from eying it. I even took notes on how she was drinking it.
She didn't even finish the whole glass, and I thought why couldn't I drink like that??? And that is why I can't drink because I would bypass the glass and just drink the bottle.
So I will stay away from and uncontrolled environments for now.

P.S I love the way you use the troll to describe your drinking it's great.

tellus

For me, a little over a year into sobriety, it really depends on the context. Like, my parents had some wine with dinner a while back and that really threw me for a loop. I wasn't much of a wine drinker, but the strong smell combined with the fact that neither one of them should be drinking was upsetting. But then a few nights ago we went to a matinee-style play, and I wasn't at all bothered by the fact that most of the other patrons were drinking (even though I could smell it). And there are some situations I still wouldn't put myself in, even though 99.8% of the time I completely trust myself. Even if temptation isn't an issue, there's no sense in making myself uncomfortable.