Samsonsworld

Anybody else feel like your spouse has unrealistic expectations of your sobriety? She seems to think I'll start liking things that I've never liked, dressing nicer, helping out with laundry...all with a smile??? lol! I keep thinking of that Toby Keith song.

I used to come home late and not a minute too soon
Barkin' like a dog, howlin' at the moon
You'd be mad as an ol' wet hen
Up all night wonderin' where I'd been
I'd fall down and say come help me honey
You laughed out loud, I guess you thought it was funny
But I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm paintin' the house and I'm mendin' the fence
I guess I've gone and lost all my good sense
Too much work is hard for your health
I could've died drinkin' now I'm killing myself
And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this, honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Now I'm fixin' the sink and I'm mowin' the grass
And you've made me a list and I'm bustin' my.... well
All broke down, tail's been draggin'
It's a rough old life up here on the wagon
And I'm feedin' the dog, sackin' the trash
It's honey do this, honey do that
I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

Yeah I sobered up and I got to thinkin'
Girl you ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'

badicecube

Yes...Fought with me to get here....still fighting.....

yeahgr8

All i can say is im glad that i was not in a serious relationship when i got sober! Maximum respect to all doing it within a relationship:-)

My exgf, maybe we might get back together after this year, she is lovely and it was jjust the drinking that ruined it...anyways...keeps saying now you will be able to do this and do that, i just say if i wan't going to do that whilst drinking why the **** would i do that sober... now you have more time to clean the house...no now i get a cleaner and have more time to go for coffees love!

tommyk

It is your recovery, and it is a process.

Hopefully someday you may feel like she wants you to feel.

Fubarcdn

That song is so funny and unfortunately true.

My wife even wants me to start cooking.
It is enough to drive you crazy if you let it.
And the one thing that you wish they wanted to do more of when you get sober they don't.

Sara9009

We have had a few small issues like this but I have sat him down and said I am doing the absolute best I can right now. Yes, I may have been the perfect "Suzie Homemaker" a few years ago but right now I have to ease back into things. It took me time to become an alcoholic and sink to where I was and I am not going to just pop back and be perfect just because I removed alcohol from the equation.

badicecube

I Understand how you feel...Personally I feel way out of charecter..just don't feel
right..It's hard to explain...I have a strange feeling.. like I'm hiding somethin...she's constantly up my ass about something or other...I just don't think AA is working out ...I've been here before 9 years ago..but it was different..I've never gone without drinking this long before..
\

Samsonsworld

Me neither and I'm only on day 11. lol! Hope it gets better.

badicecube

I hear ya..mine seems to think that I'll enjoy doing the thing she likes...I never have before..I think she thinks cause I'm sober I'll change...I'm certainly not enjoying sobriety...She dosen't seem to be liking it either..

Samsonsworld

They say a man marries a woman thinking she'll never change and a woman marries a man thinking he will. I think there is a lot of truth to that.

Just try to be open and honest...the hardest part is trying to be nice about it.

CoF1984

Boy, not to bring anyone down, but this thread makes me glad I got divorced before I quit drinking. At least I get to focus on me and things I'd like to do.
Wes

lovinmenow

Hey Samsonsworld,
my husband is not as cute as I thought he was (size neither). Wonder why? LOL

flutter

I can't imagine trying to stay sober without the support of my husband... it's interesting that some of you are saying how difficult it would be to do in a relationship. If I didn't have him to come home to, to do things with, to wake up with a GOOD MORNING, I dont know what I'd do with myself! He's really happy that I'm sober, and I'm not all hungover and lazy now, ready to try new things, and all active and energetic with him.

mle-sober

I hate that song. I think the man singing it sounds like a big baby. Gosh, does he really have to take out the trash now that he's sober? Poor thing.

Sobriety has totally upset the applecart of my relationship. No doubt about it, my marriage has taken a big hit now that I'm sober. I don't know if we'll survive. I'm busting everything in me to try.

But, I can't help it. This idea that your wife is bugging you to do chores around the house and it's such a drag? Give me a break. You've been a drunk (for I don't know how long, doing what for I don't know how long) and she's stuck by you. She's still there. You should be getting on your knees, thanking her and asking her what you can do to lighten her load.

Women do the majority of the housework and childcare anyway. Imagine what her burden has been with you guys drinking? Look around you and thank your lucky stars for the good woman that's beside you and still thinks your worth getting into bed beside every night.

And yes, that's how I treat my husband. I don't know if he cares or will be able to stay in our marriage. But if there's any chance, I'm the one who should be looking for ways in which I can make things better in our marriage and if taking out the trash helps him than so be it. It's a tiny price to pay for the hurt I caused.

Can you tell this hit a nerve?

Samsonsworld

I'm the same flutter, my wife is quite supportive and a wonderful woman...I'm just a little more irritable than usual, here lately.

Lovinmenow, I'm not touching that! lol!

Fubarcdn

Good one Samson.
That is what ny wife says. Hence my original moan.

Samsonsworld

Think that's bad? In my defense she made me sit through a Donnie and Marie look alike thingy the other evening and couldn't understand why I wanted to leave early. Torture. Pure torture.

I figure if that didn't drive me to drinking, I am home free!

lovinmenow

Hey MLE,
you got it right. My last post was just for fun but I must admit I am looking for ways to show my husband how much I love him every day. He has stuck by me through thick and thin. (weight and otherwise. LOL). He was there when I was in the hospital with alcohol poisening. He coulda shoulda left me but stayed there like a trooper. Hubby and I really do have a special relationship. We have been married 20 years and BTW have also been married 19 times. We renew our vows every year. I promised to love honor and cherish and that is what I am gonna do forever! I told him that someday when he is sick no matter what I would be there for him. Don't know what we would do without eachother. My best friend in the whole world.

OK so he was cuter when I was drunk, so what.

Taking5

Your wife is on your ass? I think you guys are in a thing called MARRIAGE and you are just now realizing it since you're sober.