What do you think?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: south jersey
Posts: 80
What do you think?
Sorry for the double post, but i wanted to get different perspectives on this.
I think i have finally come to the end of the line for my situation. I have posted over the past couple months about my gf's drug use. she seemed clean for a month or so but 2 wees ago she took her sister's car at 4am without asking and showed up noon the next day. The sister had her arrested and the police checked for marks, which they found. Court said two meetings a week for a month and they will drop the charges. She had no place to stay. I said she can stay the month so long as she did the meetings. She was planning to move across country after that.
This week she hung out with her friends three nights until like 4am and has niot gone to a meeting but says she wants to. Last night we wee supposed to hang out but she ran to her friends house at 7 becasue her bf broke up w her. She came home at 10am. No call. No text. No I'm sorry. All she said was that she has to stop smoking weed when she goes out. She smokes every night. I cannot believe that at no point she didn't wake up throught the night. I know I can be naive at times, but while she is at work today i am packing her things. I am not sure if I think she as using hard stuff, but I can't even deal with the pot anymore. I used to smoke about 5 nights a week, but have since quit. I understand using it, but I feel it is part of her addiction. I This is not acceptble behavior for a 29 yer old girl who has nothing is it?
I think i have finally come to the end of the line for my situation. I have posted over the past couple months about my gf's drug use. she seemed clean for a month or so but 2 wees ago she took her sister's car at 4am without asking and showed up noon the next day. The sister had her arrested and the police checked for marks, which they found. Court said two meetings a week for a month and they will drop the charges. She had no place to stay. I said she can stay the month so long as she did the meetings. She was planning to move across country after that.
This week she hung out with her friends three nights until like 4am and has niot gone to a meeting but says she wants to. Last night we wee supposed to hang out but she ran to her friends house at 7 becasue her bf broke up w her. She came home at 10am. No call. No text. No I'm sorry. All she said was that she has to stop smoking weed when she goes out. She smokes every night. I cannot believe that at no point she didn't wake up throught the night. I know I can be naive at times, but while she is at work today i am packing her things. I am not sure if I think she as using hard stuff, but I can't even deal with the pot anymore. I used to smoke about 5 nights a week, but have since quit. I understand using it, but I feel it is part of her addiction. I This is not acceptble behavior for a 29 yer old girl who has nothing is it?
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I think you are making a good choice for you. No matter what she is using, if she is using or what she may say, her actions are telling you she isn't serious about change and they are having a negative impact on you.
One thing that helped me to make tough decisions like you are making now, is the realization that the more I sheltered and protected by having a clean, safe place to crash, the more I allowed addiction to progress - the exact opposite of what I thought my actions would do.
I know this isn't easy, but we are here and understand. Sound off as much as you want; I find that helps.
One thing that helped me to make tough decisions like you are making now, is the realization that the more I sheltered and protected by having a clean, safe place to crash, the more I allowed addiction to progress - the exact opposite of what I thought my actions would do.
I know this isn't easy, but we are here and understand. Sound off as much as you want; I find that helps.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Seems like people tend to make light of smoking weed and want to explain away all the time that isn't addictive. It may not be addictive but my experience with someone who was/is a heavy smoker is that the behaviors that result can destroy a relationship.
The most important thing is to take care of yourself. If you are not content and satisfied in this relationship and if you can't take the smoking now, it isn't going to get any better. You might think I am being negative, I am simply speaking the truth as I know it. If the resentment and discontent is there now, it won't simply go away or change. Take care of you. Distance yourself and see how you feel.
The most important thing is to take care of yourself. If you are not content and satisfied in this relationship and if you can't take the smoking now, it isn't going to get any better. You might think I am being negative, I am simply speaking the truth as I know it. If the resentment and discontent is there now, it won't simply go away or change. Take care of you. Distance yourself and see how you feel.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: south jersey
Posts: 80
thank you. i agree with what you said. I have been dealingwith this for a few months now and at times i feel too weak to make a stand. I HAVE to do it today. I was thinking of telling her to call me after she attends 10 meetings to show she is serious. I dont know what to do, but i feel tht i am absorbing her problems and it is causing my life to suffer
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
It will cause you to suffer, believe me. You are doing the right thing by following you head and heart. She needs to find her way on her own... or not. Sounds mean, but when it starts to cost you your own well being it's not. Take care of yourself. Life is too short to be unhappy and to have to deal with the drama of drug abuse.
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