aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.

There was no way in the world
I could quit drinking for any long
period of time on my own.

I learn I was totally POWERLESS
over picking up that first drink
and the many that followed
afterwards.

Because of that powerlessness
i got soooooo drunk many times
and made and azz out of myself.

Of course i just thought i was
being cute.

The more i wanted to stop the
more i had failed attempts.

What could i do if i didnt think
i had a problem but continued
to get myself into trouble because
of it.

I couldnt stop when enough was
enough. I couldnt just come home
from the club at a reasonable
hour like any normal person
would do. No i had to close the
bar down. I had to go where
the fun was. The excitement.

Then race home because it was
passed 2am and i was gonna
be in trouble. Then run off
the road and hit a concrete
culvert sitting on top the
ground.

More sh** to face now.....Darnit.

Ok ill tighten up and fly right.

Wrong....Again i was POWERLESS
and now i want to end my
life.

Family intervention stepped
in and got me help when i
couldnt help myself any
longer.

I needed help to stop drinking
long time ago but just didnt
know how. Here in SR there
are so many people that can
help and suggest things to
do to help you so that you
wont have to go thru recovery
alone.

Reach for it, we are here to
help end that insanity....That
POWERLESSNESS.

Thanks for letting me share.

C23

Nice post. I definately am powerless over alcohol. I started to realize that after finishing off an 18 pack and feeling the need to get in the car to go across the street to the liquor store. I should in no way drive or risk hurting someone or myself, but the booze was calling. I am glad you are here to show it can be beat.

adore79

Yes I am powerless.

Samsonsworld

Been there, done that. It's only by the grace of God I didn't kill myself or somebody else. I know for a fact after that first drink, I'm powerless.

Gypsy Feet

right now I think I am pretty much in the drivers seat, I'll let you know in ten years or so if I was right

doorknob

Hmmm... if I was truly powerless over alcohol, I'd still be drinking.

Fubarcdn

I have complete power as to whether I take the first drink or not.

scaredykat

I am Raising my Hand. I am POWERLESS Over alcohol. I am powerless over a lot of things in my life. But first and foremost I have to remember that I'm an alcoholic and that my life was unmanageable. I have to do this on a daily basis and also turn my life over to my HP. That's what works for me.

NoelleR

(NOT raising my hand here)

As the First Step in AA's Program of recovery states.........:

I admitED that I WAS powerless over alcohol, but NOT any more. I no longer put it in my body; I am no longer powerless; I have power over alcohol now.


NoelleR

Music man

*raising hand* with explanation: only when drinking.

yeahgr8

yep i am!

doorknob

For me, there is definitely an inverse correlation between the amount of alcohol consumed and the degree of control I have over my continued intake.

Sara9009

Congrats on your sobriety! I think it is amazing for all of us to get sober any way we can.


As some others state I don't feel powerless over alcohol. I think now is the time that I need all of the strength I have. I also have a little bit of a problem with thinking I am powerless over inanimate objects. I have the power to decide whether to get in my car, drive to the store, select and buy the alcohol, drive home, and open it and drink it.

However, once I take that first drink though I am pretty much in a downward spiral and powerless in that respect and who knows when I will stop once I start. As long as I don't go extremely out of my way to make the conscious decision to purchase and drink alcohol I am fine.

colagirl

Powerless after the first drink, but not powerless over taking it.

StrongBird

I like this a lot. I, too, am no longer powerless.

SummerSkye

Once I have any alcohol yes I am powerless .......... but as long as I Don't take that first sip I am in control! I love the old saying that if you don't take one drink then you can't have ten!

IO Storm

I was. Had to admit it. It had me licked. Beat. All the denial gone..the sought after

benders begun and ended..powerless. Step One and safely in recovery!

Now..

Still powerless..it is conditional..

It depends on my defense strategy.

And that is that my only defense against the first drink is a fit spiritual condition.

That means, for me, reading...attending meetings, taking the Steps of Alcoholics

Anonymous with the guidance of my Sponsor..coming here, not isolating in the

"real" world.

Because, it's not the Last drink that will get me, it's the last.

IO Storm

Ooops..I meant..it is the First!

Edit buttons are nonexistent...

patience..... lol

Thanks for the thread, Sharon!

eeerooo

I know that I am powerless. Thats why I still can't stop. I'll go 3 days without and I feel like I'm going insane without the booze. And I start again. I'ts a vicious cycle. To those of you who can stay sober for more than 3 days, I hope I can be like you some day. One day, I hope I can post on this forum to say hey, I've gone a week without. I hope it happens soon. I want someone to be proud of me and I want to be proud of myself. I just have a dual addiction(benzos) so it makes things harder because benzos are the hardest drugs to withdraw from...just as bad or maybe worse than alcohol.

Those of you that can stay sober....stay sober. I can't but my boyfriend is still going to wake me up at 5:00 to go to the gym. Everyone says excersize is the magic cure all. So, I excersize in the morning but comes that time...5pm, 6pm and those vicious cravings start again. I am too powerless to break this freaking cycle. I'm an Agnostic. I was not brought up with any religion and I just wonder who my HP is going to be. Where is he. Who(or what) can I surrender to. How do I go about finding a HP????? I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I've read the blue book and there's a chapter on this but I guess my mind is too messed up to understand it. Maybe I need to read it again. That's what I'll do. Good night and bless all of you that had the balls not to drink tonight.

Good Evening..E

adore79

Sara9009 made a good point, about how she used to feel powerless over getting in the car to go buy booze. Same with me, once my brain clicks from "Im not going to drink" to "im going to drink" that is the moment I become powerless, even if I have no alcohol around and havent taken that first drink. At that moment I will get booze and drink it, period. I have managed to keep my brain in the "im not going to drink" position for a while now, and I know from experience that it will be easier to keep it there the longer I go without.

eeerooo, if you are having problems with the HP concept, perhaps you could make a thread about it and get some ESH. Or go to an AA meeting and try to get some info there. Good luck!