Lost another friend (a book)
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Lost another friend (a book)
Lost another friend to drugs on the 18th of last month. I just found out the day before I left for my vacation. It was too much for his wife to tell people at first, and I understand why.
D. had stopped abusing uppers twenty years ago. Then, at age 39, he had a quad bypass three years ago. D. began to abuse his xanax, seroquel and vicodin a few months afterward. After this D was diagnosed with manic depression and PTSD that appeared after his surgery (I think it was mood swings from his drug use). He became verbally abusive to his wife T., and it got quite bad. My heart broke as I saw this sweet man turn into a monster.
After beginning to attend a support group he appeared to be much better and his began to control his anger. He began to walk straight again, and his driving was more that of a sober person than someone using. Since he lives underneath my apartment (both of them and I have lived here over ten years) we waved to each other all the time and often just chewed the fat.
On the 18th, he was found dead. In his mouth was one of his fentanyl patches. According to his wife, he had been chewing on plastic since he was forced to quit smoking (which D really never was able to deal with) and often chewed plastic while watching TV to satisfy his oral cravings. T. thinks he accidentally put the patch in his mouth by mistake. I don't buy that. Drugs have a taste that plain plastic does not. On top of that, she had recognized his pill abuse two days prior and placed his meds in a container that he could not access.
She thinks it was an accident and he died from his heart condition combined with chewing the used patch. I didn't tell her but I think he was chewing them to get high and it wasn't the type of "accidental" OD she thinks it was.
Anyway... she doesn't have the money to bury him and the funeral home is still holding the body. They are doing this for free, as her family goes back hundreds of years which means a lot in my type of town.
He was only two years older than I am and to be honest I'm still in shock. This is the second person I've lost to drugs in as many years. I don't even know if this post makes sense, my fingers are numb while I type this. Its just too much.
Please keep T. in your thoughts tonight.
D. had stopped abusing uppers twenty years ago. Then, at age 39, he had a quad bypass three years ago. D. began to abuse his xanax, seroquel and vicodin a few months afterward. After this D was diagnosed with manic depression and PTSD that appeared after his surgery (I think it was mood swings from his drug use). He became verbally abusive to his wife T., and it got quite bad. My heart broke as I saw this sweet man turn into a monster.
After beginning to attend a support group he appeared to be much better and his began to control his anger. He began to walk straight again, and his driving was more that of a sober person than someone using. Since he lives underneath my apartment (both of them and I have lived here over ten years) we waved to each other all the time and often just chewed the fat.
On the 18th, he was found dead. In his mouth was one of his fentanyl patches. According to his wife, he had been chewing on plastic since he was forced to quit smoking (which D really never was able to deal with) and often chewed plastic while watching TV to satisfy his oral cravings. T. thinks he accidentally put the patch in his mouth by mistake. I don't buy that. Drugs have a taste that plain plastic does not. On top of that, she had recognized his pill abuse two days prior and placed his meds in a container that he could not access.
She thinks it was an accident and he died from his heart condition combined with chewing the used patch. I didn't tell her but I think he was chewing them to get high and it wasn't the type of "accidental" OD she thinks it was.
Anyway... she doesn't have the money to bury him and the funeral home is still holding the body. They are doing this for free, as her family goes back hundreds of years which means a lot in my type of town.
He was only two years older than I am and to be honest I'm still in shock. This is the second person I've lost to drugs in as many years. I don't even know if this post makes sense, my fingers are numb while I type this. Its just too much.
Please keep T. in your thoughts tonight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
I'm so sorry for the loss of your neighbor and friend. I saw another obit. in the paper last week for a 39 year old who once lived with my son in a halfway house a few years ago. I hate this disease and am praying for you and his family as you grieve this senseless loss.
((((hugs & prayers))))
:praying
((((hugs & prayers))))
:praying
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Alera,
I am sorry for your friends loss and yours. Her possible denial is probably her own way of dealing with what happened. She probably knows how he did and thats why it was hard for her to talk about it at first.
A childhood friend of mine OD on thanksgiving day. I didnt see him for about 12 years or so but I have to say I was shocked, saddened and confused by it. Its never easy to lose anyone you care about to drugs.
Sending you many hugs and prayers.
Thanks,
Jewelz
I am sorry for your friends loss and yours. Her possible denial is probably her own way of dealing with what happened. She probably knows how he did and thats why it was hard for her to talk about it at first.
A childhood friend of mine OD on thanksgiving day. I didnt see him for about 12 years or so but I have to say I was shocked, saddened and confused by it. Its never easy to lose anyone you care about to drugs.
Sending you many hugs and prayers.
Thanks,
Jewelz
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Jewelz,
I agree this is her way of denying the problem. In addition, I feel she may think she is guilty due to the fact she hadn't recognized the problem earlier (although at this point she is denying it started earlier than two days before his death).
My heart goes out to her. The good news is that she is now getting along better with some members of her family. D had gotten into an argument with one of them and refused to enter T.'s fathers home even though she had to go daily to help take care of her father.
I agree this is her way of denying the problem. In addition, I feel she may think she is guilty due to the fact she hadn't recognized the problem earlier (although at this point she is denying it started earlier than two days before his death).
My heart goes out to her. The good news is that she is now getting along better with some members of her family. D had gotten into an argument with one of them and refused to enter T.'s fathers home even though she had to go daily to help take care of her father.
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