tpersis

Hello
I was on here a few days ago as a newcomer with a loss.
What i didn't mention was that my mom was also a valium addict.
any benzo, really. if she didn't have meds she drank, and if she drank she needed her meds. I have now been sober one full week, starting two days after she passed.
i never thought i was an alcoholic until i admitted it here.
and although i never got so bad to withdraw, WOW the cravings for alcohol were there. it scared me that they were, and that booze killed my mom, so i keep sober.

then i realized everyone usually has a reason why they started.
im sure lots of you list it on here. why did you start?
what was the reason? please, if you care to share, genetics,
a bad mishap, i like to understand why we all go back.
my mom started on a bad bend when she lost her job.

i started on a bad bend to escape from what was going on with her.
it sounds terrible, but now that she is gone, i actually have less desire to drink, do drugs etc because i worried about her constantly.
a weight has been lifted.
things will always be wrong in our lives.
we have to find each other and find other ways to deal with it.
my goal is a year. parties weddings and all.
i want to do this.

thanks for listening

tp

yeahgr8

Had my first real drink at 17, a few cans of fosters lager bought by my mother, i had never felt better in my life after drinking just one. I chased that feeling for 20 years until i stopped last October. So there you go thats why i started and why i have done it for so long.

tpersis

yeah i wish i could have changed this title!

its not so much about reasons, but finding reasons NOT to.
or reasons why we stopped.
and yes when i scroll back i see that everyone has discussed their reasons...

thank you all for posting....
tp

Iriss

Hi there - Thanks for sharing that with us, the reasons for my initial drinking probably require so much work, I couldnt possibly get into them here.. However drinking has made me the unhappiest I have ever been.. You are right, we should focus on the reasons for not drinking. x x thanks

tpersis

you are right Iriss...about the unhappiness.

this is what we need to think about....
i can't help but keep mentioning my mom.
she was happy-- or happier at one point.
drinking just led to more depression and then the vicious cycle began to drink again.

we have to focus on all the good things that happen when not drinking..
the list could be huge.

change4penny

tpersis...I'm a recovering opiate/cocaine addict, 139 days clean. I used when things were good...when things were bad....when I was celebrating something...when I was running from something...I'm an addict. The hard thing now, is learning how to deal with good and bad without using. That's my struggle!

least

My drinking started innocently enough. A glass of wine to relax before the kids got home from school. It didn't take long before I was drinking all day, every day, and was drinking to escape the misery... which I brought on myself by drinking... if that makes any sense. I got six months sober and relapsed. Then I had two weeks and relapsed again. Now I'm sick and tired of being so sick and tired and am starting over.

If I can just get past the first couple days of withdrawal I'll be ok. I don't want to do this to myself anymore. So no more drinking to escape. No more drinking to be numb. No more drinking period.

Samsonsworld

What can I say. I love beer. I love the taste, I love the smell and most of all I love the way it makes me feel. What I hate is that I love it so much that I've become a slave to it.

gravity

Since I quit drinking (even before then actually) I have read many self-help & spiritual books, attended addictions counseling, and I am a member of AA. I have learned so much and have actually retained some of it.

One book I read (7 Tools to Beat Addiction) contained an exercise where I wrote down what I hoped to get out of drinking (rewarding sensations) and then wrote down alternatives that would actually give me that result.

Examples:

I drink to: Relieve stress
Better alternatives: exercise, meditatation, watch a movie

I drink to: Relieve loneliness
Better alternatives: Spend time with my wife & kids (duh! ), rekindle my relationships with friends/family members that don't abuse alcohol

I drink to: have fun
Better alternatives: mountain biking, concerts, sports, play with my kids

I drink to: be cool (really!...it was on my list )
Better alternatives: mountain biking, fashion, fitness, be a good dad

This exercise really helped put things in perspective: this is why I drink, I don't get what I want from drinking, so what can I do about it?

Mattcake

As warped as this may sound, drinking made sense when I first started. I had lots of reasons to do it - I chose to delude myself.

Nowadays, I think there is a lot of truth in the tidy motto: "Excuses, not reasons". I think of this in terms of "excuses" because I'm more aware of my choices, and I DO know where drinking leads.

Having said that, I also choose to be understanding of myself and others. I like to believe that we all do the very best we can at any given time... and there was a time when I simply didn't know better.

Hevyn

When I started out, I didn't have a care in the world, so there was nothing to escape from. It helped with the self-consciousness & shyness that had always plagued me. It was so much fun to be free of those feelings for awhile. Later, when I was really dependent on it, I used any excuse to escalate my drinking. Happy, Sad, Worried, any old emotion was doused with alcohol.

As Yeahgr8 said, I've chased that early euphoria ever since - almost into an early grave.

Wombat05

I played collegiate hockey, and no combination couldn't be much worse I don't think. College and hockey--two cultures that teem with drinking.
When I was finished the "party" culture just carried on into my daily life. I figured it was all just "normal".
What is not normal is feeling sick all the time. Or calling in sick on Monday because of a booze addled weekend--where just to get to bed Sunday night you got drunk. That went on for 10 years.
Reason I started: Stupid kid, too caught up in the beer commercial party life.
Reason I stopped: Stupid adult, realizing there is no such thing as a beer commercial, just social, financial, and ultimately my own ruin.

mle-sober

I drank to alleviate feelings of shame, alienation, and depression after I was raped at 14.

Then I drank for the next 26 years because I liked the way it made me feel. And because I didn't have the strength and courage and integrity to stop.

I quit 1 year ago because I could no longer stand myself. It was either "die drinking now" or "quit drinking now." I quit because I love my children, my husband, and my parents. Later, after I'd gain some stability, I was able to see that I needed to stay sober for myself also - not just my loved ones. But it took about 6 months for that to kick in.

When I quit, I made lists of reasons why I needed to stay sober. And I carried those lists around with me. The issues were many and varied. I had to hold on to whatever I could. Each straw that I grasped mattered and helped to anchor me. No matter how flimsy it seemed. It was all just buying time until I could begin to feel the weight of my real self (not my drunk self) on this world. Until I could begin to believe again that I mattered and that there was something to live for.

IantheWino

It just sort of snuck up on me. I survived the military and college without feeling addicted. I tried wine about 10 years ago and loved it - the way I felt relaxed in the evening, the way it helped me fall asleep fast.

My main reason for quitting is my 9 mo. old twins. Plus I'm very healthy in all other aspects of my life, so it doesn't make sense.