Blondie

I'm amazed. After all of these years, my AH has finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist (his mother's psychiatrist who knows the family history). There is a concern though because when he told me he asked me "what if I get a clean bill of health?" I told him that if he is truthful then he will get the answer that he needs. To which my AH said "well, sometimes it's not good to be so truthful.":wtf2 Good grief. Can someone lie to a psychiatrist and be believed by them and misdiagnosed? I know he'll probably leave out a lot of details including the amount of drinking and his other women (so called "friends") one in which he spent several nights with and lied about it, and he'll paint me as a crazy perimenopausal griefstricken woman. If he lies and gets a clean bill of health or if the pschiatrist tells him he needs help, but he refuses another appointment and lies to me that he is fine -- how will I know? Any advice?

Barbara52

You won't know regardless of what happens, good, bad or indifferent. And in a way it doesn't matter since you aren't the one going to see the doc and its not your issue.

Blondie

So true, your right. I guess I am hoping (probably falsely again) that this will be the beginning of his getting help as he does need it. But you are right, it is not my business or problem and I'm just letting myself get sucked in again.

GiveLove

Unfortunately, you're right there, Blondie

Many of them magically decide to find help as soon as they think they've lost us. It lasts until we're back, and then they magically fall into the same habits again. It's called manipulation and you're wise to keep on with your own plans.

Rebecca4

I work in the medical field. I jsut wanted you to know that the doctor is probably way more clever than your man and if he see's or hears BS he will recognise it. It is hard to hoodwink medics. In the Uk when we go to the doctors and they ask how much do you smoke? We say 3 cigs a day. They multiply by ten.When they say how many units we muiply by 12. Added to this if he does blood tests etc those cannot lie, they tell the truth.

I think that I would stress to him that what is the point of going to the doctors and lying? His liver will show the truth, if not his answers to questions about his lifestyle.

By the way, if he goes on about your menopausal state, just remind him your not the only one who needs evening primrose tablets!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blondie

Yes, I'm focusing on him - again - RATS! I've got to break that cycle. I can't wait until Friday when I have my al-anon meeting (boy do I need it). I've been going, but never got a sponsor, I think I NEED to do that as there is a lady there that I feel a real connection with who is a sponsor volunteer. And perhaps I need to go back to the counselor too, though she just told me I need to be more assertive. Maybe I need to find one that deals with co-dependence and knows about alcoholism and it's affects on the family. This whole thing isn't easy and I realize how easy I let myself be manipulated by my AH, but I just can't let that happen again. It is hard to break free of that way of life, but I'm working on it and know if I don't I'll get sucked back in again and be back to the same garbage as before.

ICant

I highly recommend seeing a counsellor with experience in addictions. They have a better understanding of how much it affects everyone. I have seen a therapist who didn't specialise in addictions and she just seemed to miss the point.