Biggest Trigger - Day 8
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 98
Biggest Trigger - Day 8
My biggest trigger is that my life is a total mess. I did hold it together in some aspects, but I am in hole due to my drinking.[LIST][*]MY Mess[*]My body is a mess, I mean I use to be a model and now I am 50lbs overweight[*]my son is failing in school because his mom is a drunk[*]my house is disorganized[*]my finances are in mess, I owe money my husband does not know about[*]my husband is repulsed by me[*]my marriage is in disarray, and he wants out[*]my adult children have lost their confidence in a women they once respected[LIST}
So with all of this, it is easier to drink,,,,to get away from it....but I will not. I have my 8 days if nothing else, and I am going to hold on. And just for this day. I will not drink alcohol.....but i need your help.
So with all of this, it is easier to drink,,,,to get away from it....but I will not. I have my 8 days if nothing else, and I am going to hold on. And just for this day. I will not drink alcohol.....but i need your help.
Last edited by TheLadyb; 02-09-2009 at 05:26 AM. Reason: Mistake in spelling
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 185
Hello Ladyb
I think as you are on day 8, your pointing in the right direction and you are not your addiction, your are the woman you want to be.. I said this to someone earlier.. once you see your addiction for what it is... not you, you can then fight it with all that strength of the woman you are... I hope you stay strong x
I think as you are on day 8, your pointing in the right direction and you are not your addiction, your are the woman you want to be.. I said this to someone earlier.. once you see your addiction for what it is... not you, you can then fight it with all that strength of the woman you are... I hope you stay strong x
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Congrats on 8 days and especially your attitude Ladyb. It is common to beat yourself up when you are just starting so take a deep breath and relax.
Sure you have problems or as I prefer to call them opportunities to make things good again.
Start looking after your body again, exercising and such. I am sure when you were modellling you exercised a lot.
Without wasting your time drinking you will have more time to spend with your son and help him with his school work so he will be passing and excelling.
Likewisr with your house and finances from the money you will save by not drinking. As a matter of fact everything that you listed is a reason NOT to drink.
Just take it slowly you can't fix everything overnight but by not drinking it will all come together for you.
Think positive thoughts. You are doing great. :ghug3
Sure you have problems or as I prefer to call them opportunities to make things good again.
Start looking after your body again, exercising and such. I am sure when you were modellling you exercised a lot.
Without wasting your time drinking you will have more time to spend with your son and help him with his school work so he will be passing and excelling.
Likewisr with your house and finances from the money you will save by not drinking. As a matter of fact everything that you listed is a reason NOT to drink.
Just take it slowly you can't fix everything overnight but by not drinking it will all come together for you.
Think positive thoughts. You are doing great. :ghug3
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,503
Ladyb, I do understand how difficult it is to wade through the messes we created in our lives while we were drinking.
But, there is no way around it. So, try to not be overwhelmed. Take things slowly and you will see progress.
But, there is no way around it. So, try to not be overwhelmed. Take things slowly and you will see progress.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Congats on beginning your second week!
A couple slogans come to mind here, First Things First, Easy Does It and Keep It Simple. Now that the fog has cleared, you're beginning to see the wreckage of your past but guess what? It's where you need to be right now. Instead of looking at this as a huge, overwhelming mess, use these things as a motivation to get through today and then tomorrow, begin the next day. I think everyone of us want to clean up the mess our lives are in overnight. Wouldn't that be nice if we could?
I noticed that you're a list maker. This is where the First Things First comes into play in my mind. Make a list of priorities and what you can begin to change today. Ok, take a hot shower, clean up. . . start taking better care of yourself. Tackle the house one room at a time. You can't expect to get everything back in order in one day. When your son comes home from school, spend time with him. Look at his school work and help him where you can. Cook a healthy dinner . . . .
I thought I had completely lost many people in my life. My son was 16 and living with his Father when I got clean and sober. In time, your kids will see that you are changing. Again, this takes time.
Can't give you much advice on the Husband. I was twice divorced when I got into Recovery. The situation may not be as hopeless as you think. Right now, things are looking pretty overwhelming but chip away slowly and you will find the person you are and will begin to love yourself enough that others won't have any choice but to love you too!
Hugs from someone who understands,
Judy
A couple slogans come to mind here, First Things First, Easy Does It and Keep It Simple. Now that the fog has cleared, you're beginning to see the wreckage of your past but guess what? It's where you need to be right now. Instead of looking at this as a huge, overwhelming mess, use these things as a motivation to get through today and then tomorrow, begin the next day. I think everyone of us want to clean up the mess our lives are in overnight. Wouldn't that be nice if we could?
I noticed that you're a list maker. This is where the First Things First comes into play in my mind. Make a list of priorities and what you can begin to change today. Ok, take a hot shower, clean up. . . start taking better care of yourself. Tackle the house one room at a time. You can't expect to get everything back in order in one day. When your son comes home from school, spend time with him. Look at his school work and help him where you can. Cook a healthy dinner . . . .
I thought I had completely lost many people in my life. My son was 16 and living with his Father when I got clean and sober. In time, your kids will see that you are changing. Again, this takes time.
Can't give you much advice on the Husband. I was twice divorced when I got into Recovery. The situation may not be as hopeless as you think. Right now, things are looking pretty overwhelming but chip away slowly and you will find the person you are and will begin to love yourself enough that others won't have any choice but to love you too!
Hugs from someone who understands,
Judy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Originally Posted by TheLadyb 
My biggest trigger is that my life is a total mess. I did hold it together in some aspects, but I am in hole due to my drinking.[LIST][*]MY Mess[*]My body is a mess, I mean I use to be a model and now I am 50lbs overweight[*]my son is failing in school because his mom is a drunk[*]my house is disorganized[*]my finances are in mess, I owe money my husband does not know about[*]my husband is repulsed by me[*]my marriage is in disarray, and he wants out[*]my adult children have lost their confidence in a women they once respected[LIST}
So with all of this, it is easier to drink,,,,to get away from it....but I will not. I have my 8 days if nothing else, and I am going to hold on. And just for this day. I will not drink alcohol.....but i need your help.
So with all of this, it is easier to drink,,,,to get away from it....but I will not. I have my 8 days if nothing else, and I am going to hold on. And just for this day. I will not drink alcohol.....but i need your help.
You are in my prayers
A new dawn and new chapter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
Something about that number 8. That's when in the past after the first few days I wasn't feeling so sick and my head was a little clearer. It's like I almost forgot what a hangover is and the stuff I was seeing in my life was a lot more easier to deal with drinking then the other way around. But one thing you have to tell your self is no matter how bad things in your life are, drinking WILL NOT make them any better. It's not a easy path to walk, but it's better then the alternative.
Congrats on making it to the 8th day, keep hanging in there!
Congrats on making it to the 8th day, keep hanging in there!
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
It's rather ironic that we find comfort is finding out that there are millions of people just as messed up as we are in early Recovery! I have to laugh about that. I thought I was so unique, and not in a good way. I thought that there was no one out there quite as sick as me, whose problems weren't quite as bad as mine and who's life wasn't in such a disaster.
Judy
Judy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 112
Hang in LadyB! Day 8 is awesome, and I'm glad to be sharing it with ya.
Like the others have said: Getting a hold of my sobriety is the biggest thing I can do to have the drive, clear-head, and coping mechanisms to deal with the other things I've put in disarray while drinking.
For me--it's not just one day at a time--but one thing at a time. God knows it's hard to stay sober--much less let ourselves pile on everything else that is "wrong".
Confront that you can handle comfortably. There is no super-fix that will work in one day.
Like our sobriety, if we take manageable nibbles each day--eventually the whole wheel of cheese will shrink to a size that we can easily manage. And we'll be one satisfied mouse!
Like the others have said: Getting a hold of my sobriety is the biggest thing I can do to have the drive, clear-head, and coping mechanisms to deal with the other things I've put in disarray while drinking.
For me--it's not just one day at a time--but one thing at a time. God knows it's hard to stay sober--much less let ourselves pile on everything else that is "wrong".
Confront that you can handle comfortably. There is no super-fix that will work in one day.
Like our sobriety, if we take manageable nibbles each day--eventually the whole wheel of cheese will shrink to a size that we can easily manage. And we'll be one satisfied mouse!
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