Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Owning Our Power

We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.

The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can't do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves - what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.

It's important to surrender to powerlessness, but it's equally important to own our power. We aren't trapped. We aren't helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren't. We each have the God-given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.

Let the power come to walk that path.

Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

For many years, I was frozen in fear. I didn't know how to take care of myself because fear left me wondering what might happen if I did. I was afraid of losing people, by abandonment or by death.

When I began recovery, the first words that got through to me were "We admitted we were poweless over others, and our lives had become unmanageable" (CoDA version, Step 1).

Once I accepted the concept that I had no power at all over anyone else, once I accepted that nothing I did or didn't do could control them, once I let go of them and began looking after myself...my life began getting better and I have never looked back,

Hugs

imallright

As a Mom who is trying to influence her kids and do the right things to help them, I struggle with control vs. parenting. My soon to be ex... the addict in my life... doesn't believe in doing anything that is going to rock the boat with them and therefore they think he is just the "cat's meow".

How do I accept the powerlessness that is part of this equation and still do the right things for the kids and for me???

A bit off topic, but a good deal of this caused by an addict's deluted thinking and it's impact on our entire family.

Thoughts or suggestions on this chance for me to own my power?????

Thanks... as always... the topic is right on target!

Live

thank you for this POWERFUL sharing post