IantheWino

Hi! I'm new here, and made it through the last couple nights. My drink of choice is wine. I always had sleeping issues, and about 10 years ago, realized that wine helped me sleep. So I developed about a 3 glass per evening wine habit. I don't crave alcohol during the day, don't go out to bars, don't get silly drunk, don't get hangovers, and do the very occassional social drinking or every now and then a Saturday afternoon beer. Other than the nightly wine, my drinking is quite sparse and people would be shocked to find out I have an issue. But I love wine, and I look forward to the relaxing feeling during the last hour of my day.

I work out at the gym, run almost every day, and I recently had a physical exam and the doctor told me I was healthier than the average teenager (I'm 42), which lead me to think that the drinking wine must be ok.

What changed my attitude was that I became a father of twins last Spring. When they first came home, it was so much work for us, and I cut back on the wine out of necessity, needing to get up multiple times at night. Now they sleep through the night, so I've been back at it. But I don't want my children growing up in a home where one parent uses alcohol as a crutch. I just won't stand for it! Plus I look at the expense of it - probably $150 per month, and think what that money could be doing for them, like a college savings account. Not to mention times are tough and the expense of twins is quite high.

My main challenge is winding down in the evening and falling asleep naturally. When I get into bed sober, the silence is deafening. After a couple glasses of wine, I'm asleep in 5 minutes. Last night took an hour. Then I had crazy, vivid dreams that woke me up, and then night sweats. But this morning I feel fine and have no issues.

One thing that helped me calm down last night was that I layed on the couch, watching TV, with one of the twins in my arms. He was so content to just sit there with his daddy for about 45 minutes until he fell asleep in my arms. I want that to be the highlight of my day, rather than glasses of wine!

Ian

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Chronic insomnia was the issue that pushed me over the edge too.

And, it turned out that I was an addict waiting to happen. It was shocking to me, how quickly I became addicted. I had never been a drinker, but in my mid-forties, things became overwhelming. I had two teenagers at home, one of whom was acting out dangerously, a husband who travelled constantly and a stressful job. I needed to sleep and it worked so well at first, but before long, the drinking was controlling me.

I am glad you have decided to live a sober life.

Eclipse

Congratulations on the twins! I have 14 year old teenage twin daughters...that'll drive anyone to drink. I have had sleeping issues in the past and am finding the wine is what is making it worse. After I had quit for a few weeks, I slept just great...then I started up again. I find that getting into bed with a cup of tea with honey and a melatonin helps alot. And all I have to do is open a book and I fall asleep!

Good luck and welcome!

IantheWino

Thanks Anna! That's really what made me mad, when I realized it was controlling me, and the fear I had if there was no wine for bedtime. I stumbled across this site when I was trying to figure out why I got such bad night sweats to see if it had anything to do with stopping drinking, which was also a sign to me that I have an issue. The doctor (and things I've read) say that one or two glasses of wine per day are very healthy, and I don't doubt that, but I crossed the line.

I've tried a couple times in the past to stop by taking sleeping pills, and that worked, but then I'm just a slave to the sleeping pills and they made me groggy in the morning, so not an option. You'd think after work all day, running, and dealing with babies all evening, my body would just shut down and fall asleep! Who knows, maybe it's been so long since I went to sleep naturally that my body has changed.

One other reason for quitting is that I want to live to at least 90, since I became a first time father at 41. I eat well and have been exercising/working out regularly for over 20 years, so at least I have that on the plus side. I also feel fortunate that the need for alcohol doesn't haunt me throughout my day.

Ian

IantheWino

Thats great to hear that you were able to start sleeping well. I tried substituting "sleepy time" tea for wine for a few days last year, and stopped because I got crazy dreams. Now I know the dreams weren't from the tea, but from the lack of alcohol. Last night in my dreams I ran over and killed three people with a VW-- on purpose. I'm the most non-violent person you could meet, so I woke up terrified! From what I've read, the vivid dreams and night sweats shouldn't last too long.

Ian

Fubarcdn

Welcome Ian. it is good that you are wanting to quit for the sake of yourself and your twins.
I got a boy in college and I can vouch for the fact that it is expensive. He lives at home with us and if it was not for that I wouldn't have the money on hand to help fund him. If you invest that saved money at 5% you will have over $16,000 come college time from the wine savings alone. That alone is probably worth it.

Anyways just wanted to say and wish you well.

KindBird

My habit was not unlike yours, Ian - but I usually had 4-5 glasses and it was always wine. One thing that really woke me up was reading about longterm use at that "moderate" (NOT) level - the consequences are so yucky - your twins would have a not so healthy dad in the long run.

Great for you for stopping - and SR is a huge support place to be. Looks like you are getting some good tips re sleeping from other SR-ers. As long as I get exercise I can sleep deep and long. The first two weeks without wine I did wake up a few times in the night, but that ended (I am 27 days no drink).

Welcome and way to go!

backporchpoet

Congrats Ian on realizing that you have a problem and for quitting drinking. A lot of people think that just because they aren't drinking all day long or out partying until they wake up covered in their own puke with no recollection of the night before, they don't have a problem. You are being smart here and taking back control of your nights so that you can spend more time with your kids. Trust me, you will be so happy that you enjoyed your nights with your kids over your wine. They grow so fast and you can never get it back. Welcome Ian!

Erin

IantheWino

Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone. Coming up on the weekend shouldn't be any more of a challenge than a weekday for me since I'm at home and we don't go out to bars or anything like that. There is no wine in the house either.

I remember about ten years ago, I kept telling myself, "you really should try red wine - all this information is coming out that says it's good for you." If I'd only known! It's also difficult for me to understand why I could go out for dinner with friends and have one glass of wine and that would be it, no cravings for more, etc. Yet when I drink during that hour or so before bed, I couldn't stop until I was very tired. Or why I could go to a neighbor's cocktail party on rare occassions and have one or two drinks and be done with it, or one beer on the front porch on a Sunday afternoon. I suppose addiction is addiction, but mine seems very situational and connected with easing into sleep.

Gypsy Feet

I had nightmares for about the first 3 weeks of being sober, but they seemed to have passed. Oddly enough, the best thing about all of the recovery books I keep checking out from the library is that they put me to sleep within a page or two HAHAHA!!

least

Wine was my poison also. But I started out innocently and soon was drinking all day every day. Yes, it helped me sleep. But it was not good sleep as I woke up early am and couldn't get back to sleep without a couple more glasses of wine.

Good for you deciding to get sober. It's worth the effort!

:ghug3

IantheWino

Thanks everyone - Soon will come the difficult time of my day. As the evening begins, I'll begin to crave the stuff. I'll try tea this evening, and know that I'm not only doing it for me, but more importantly, doing for my boys!

wanttolive

My story is alot like least's. That few glasses of wine can soon turn into a few more and before you know it...well we all know the rest. The twins will grow before you know it so don't waste a minute! Start that college fund because it will be money way better spent! Good luck to you.

grateful2b

Welcome Ian!
congratulations on choosing sobriety

IantheWino

Thanks everyone! I made it though the weekend and other than headaches (which I never get), I'm fine. I really slept well last night - all the way through without waking up, although I'm still tired this morning. I've never been a morning person, and I doubt that'll change.

Yesterday after leaving the gym, I thought for a second that I needed to stop at the liquor store and pick up wine, and then remembered I no longer do that. $20 saved!

I think the surprising part to me is that this really hasn't been horrible. I should have quit years ago.