RightAngled

This site has been such a help to me. This is (I hope) my last day off work before I go back. I have been signed off since I had a seizure at work that required 5 days in hospital. Thankfully I have had 13 days sober behind me. I am so bored and even though it is 9:40am here in the UK, if I was off work and drinking I would be in the bar that opens at 9am and probably on my 2nd or 3rd beer. At the moment I am staying at my sisters, which is great but hard too as she has a controlling husband and two children. I dont feel wellcome or that the understand the true nature and extent of the problem. I have my own flat but am scared to death to go back there and be on my own. However, my long term recovery is dependant on me being in my own place and being back at work. I spent most of my time round my ex-girlfriends house before she dumped me just before Christmas, they day before the memorial service to commemorate the first anniversary of my dads death, without any emotion, or explanation and is now back with the ex she spent most of our realtionship telling me how bad he treated her. Anyway - a 4 week binge ensued which led to my hospitalisation. I think I am repeating myself - this must sound boring! Like many others, I am living from one moment to the next. I am finding the most simple tasks difficult - even taking a shower ro making a cup of tea exhausts me.

My one consolation is at least by not drinking and being honest with myself I am moving towards where I want to be, whereas if I was drinking I would be moving further away.

This is a great resource - hopefully, day 13 will be day 14 this time tommorrow!

Bamboozle

Hello, RA.

Congrats on the sober time! 6

I know what you mean about living from one moment to the next. Hang in there and come post on SR as much as you need to.

ViciousCycle

Hey RA,

It sounds like through all the crapola, you are still taking care of yourself by not drinking. That is HUGE, do you know that?
You have been through alot of emotional things, with the holidays to top off the mix. Now it is time for YOU.........maybe do something completely new, something you never would have done while drinking........baby steps though..........go take a walk.......get out of the house doing something. I found being in the house, which I was for the better part of 6 weeks, really was exhausting.......so one day, I went to the bank......the next to the Vet.........etc.......and finally I just kept going and it did alot for me mentally. It makes you stronger.
Relationships can be so devastating.....I just ended a three year with a guy I thought was forever.......I still have pangs but know that I must move forward..........for me.

Hang in there and vent to us anytime. I care, we care!!

masseyman

Hey, great job on almost 2 weeks of sobriety RA! Today is my 14th day as well.

This stuff is pretty tough some days eh? Has been for me. Hang in there and better things are around the corner for you I know they are.

God bless.

RightAngled

Cheers Bamboozle and ViciousCycle - means a lot. My big problem was doing things both in my professional and personal lives to please others in the spurious beleif that if I could make others happy then I too would be happy. What a mistake. I had been doing it for a lot longer than I care to remember. I am bad at doing things for myself and thats something I have to learn - to be happy and content and indeed sober, by myself and for myself.

Relationship splits are hard at the best of times, guess it was the manner and timing that led me to hit self destruct. It may not have been nice but at least it has got me sober for as long as I have been. It takes what it takes I guess.

Just wanna get back to work now - fingers crossed it will be tommorrow!

Strangef8

Just hang in there and keep coming here and posting.

I know it's hard to go through relationship problems and o just say screw it have a drink or whatever. I know you have heard this, but it won't help anything. Most likely you would end up drunk dialing or doing something even worse.

Thinking of you.

Anna

Ah, yes, I had to learn that it was most important to make myself happy. That was a hard lesson to learn because I truly believed I should put my children and husband first. But, it turned out, when I did that, there was nothing left for me.

Relationships are hard, no question about that. You are learning how to deal with life without alcohol and that's the main thing!

Fubarcdn

Hello RA. That is a terrible thing that woman did to you, especially the timing. I am sure you have heard this before but you deserve better and will likely make a better choice next time. Stay well and come here if you are feeling a bit low. People here care about each other.

RightAngled

Cheers - been on here pretty much all day and it has been so helpful. I dont feel so alone here. Been on my own all day and my sister and her husband will be back in half an hour so I wont get to use this, I will try and pop out tomight to one of my friends houses to chill. Its hard to be round a 'normal' family so early into the process. I need to head back to my flat as soon as I can. Begin my life again.

IO Storm

RightAngled..

Congrats on 13 days!

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

It is how we all have done it..and are doing it.

Hugs and prayers for your health, and continued sobriety.