Getting stressful
Getting stressful
One more day to go till rehab and i'm so stressed. i've had all these "issues" this week coming up. The practical side of things - keep trying to just handle them but i feel the stress taking over me right now.
First last week the rehab calls late Wed and says they messed up and need all his medical/dental/vision records and tests updated before monday. They gave me absolutely no time to get it done and all of this takes money which wasnt in the budget. AS's PO and I talked them into waiving some since they were just done a couple of months ago but i still had to have some done.
They have to have a TB test but that takes 72 hours. So we got the test friday and have to run back to the doc before rehab to get it read. When I took son the doc and he and the doc have a blowup because his BS is really high and he cant control his emotions when they're high - he got PO'd because the doc was checking him for signs of using and ran a drug screen. Because his bs was high one of his diabetic tests came back bad which is not going to go over well at rehab - rule is his diabetes has to be in control to go there. I'm trying to get him to really get control of his BS before we go back so that the doc can retest him and give him the clear. But of course I'm getting no cooperation in that area.
Then yesterday I go to pick up his prescriptions for the month and low and behold my insurance is messed up - they say i have a deductable which i dont. They say i have to pay 320 to get his insulin and of course i cant take him to rehab monday without a month's supply of insulin and i dont have the 320. Not to mention that my son is almost out of insulin right now so I ended up breaking down in tears at the pharmacy. Thank goodness my boss stepped in and offered to pay it because he understands that we have to have the insulin and it could take weeks to work this out with insurance.
Son's not packed and wont get out of bed. we're swamped at work and since i missed work friday and will miss tomorrow I'm having to work all weekend to make up. I refuse to pack him - he'll only complain if i do and its his responsibility - I'm trying to hold back from going upstairs and screaming at him to get it done.
He had his eposide of hiding the girl in his bedroom friday night and has pretty much been miserable to be around the last few days - keeps asking if people can come over to visit - to which of course i'm saying no. On top of it all, I'm broke and trying to come up with all the supplies he has to take with him - I'm working that out but its still stressful.
I keep telling myself one more day - one more day. I feel like there is something out there trying to stop us from making it tomorrow (that's the old codie control issues i know) - somehow its all getting worked out but its taking a lot out of me. I did go to bed early last night with a pot of herbal tea and tried to take a couple of hours to relax but today I can feel the stress taking over my body - my shoulders are on fire right now from the stress. I'm on the verge of a blowup and need to keep my cool or i could derail everything.
I've got to get through this one last day. I'm tired of being strong.
First last week the rehab calls late Wed and says they messed up and need all his medical/dental/vision records and tests updated before monday. They gave me absolutely no time to get it done and all of this takes money which wasnt in the budget. AS's PO and I talked them into waiving some since they were just done a couple of months ago but i still had to have some done.
They have to have a TB test but that takes 72 hours. So we got the test friday and have to run back to the doc before rehab to get it read. When I took son the doc and he and the doc have a blowup because his BS is really high and he cant control his emotions when they're high - he got PO'd because the doc was checking him for signs of using and ran a drug screen. Because his bs was high one of his diabetic tests came back bad which is not going to go over well at rehab - rule is his diabetes has to be in control to go there. I'm trying to get him to really get control of his BS before we go back so that the doc can retest him and give him the clear. But of course I'm getting no cooperation in that area.
Then yesterday I go to pick up his prescriptions for the month and low and behold my insurance is messed up - they say i have a deductable which i dont. They say i have to pay 320 to get his insulin and of course i cant take him to rehab monday without a month's supply of insulin and i dont have the 320. Not to mention that my son is almost out of insulin right now so I ended up breaking down in tears at the pharmacy. Thank goodness my boss stepped in and offered to pay it because he understands that we have to have the insulin and it could take weeks to work this out with insurance.
Son's not packed and wont get out of bed. we're swamped at work and since i missed work friday and will miss tomorrow I'm having to work all weekend to make up. I refuse to pack him - he'll only complain if i do and its his responsibility - I'm trying to hold back from going upstairs and screaming at him to get it done.
He had his eposide of hiding the girl in his bedroom friday night and has pretty much been miserable to be around the last few days - keeps asking if people can come over to visit - to which of course i'm saying no. On top of it all, I'm broke and trying to come up with all the supplies he has to take with him - I'm working that out but its still stressful.
I keep telling myself one more day - one more day. I feel like there is something out there trying to stop us from making it tomorrow (that's the old codie control issues i know) - somehow its all getting worked out but its taking a lot out of me. I did go to bed early last night with a pot of herbal tea and tried to take a couple of hours to relax but today I can feel the stress taking over my body - my shoulders are on fire right now from the stress. I'm on the verge of a blowup and need to keep my cool or i could derail everything.
I've got to get through this one last day. I'm tired of being strong.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Ah Winnie - You're doing it! Good for you.
Do you have 5-10 min to go for a quick fast walk around the block or something to help ease some of the pent-up frustration?
(((hugs))) You're almost there.
Do you have 5-10 min to go for a quick fast walk around the block or something to help ease some of the pent-up frustration?
(((hugs))) You're almost there.
It's never to late to start the day over, pause for just 5 minutes, and ask your higher power for some help today.
I have this hanging on my wall in my office.
The Difference
I got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day
I had so much to accomplish
that I didn't have time to pray
Problems tumbled about me
and harder came each task
"Why doesn't God help me? I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."
I wanted joy and beauty,
but the day was gray and bleak,
I wondered why God didn't show me,
He said, "You didn't seek."
I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and loving said,
"My child, you didn't knock."
I woke up early this morning,
and paused before starting the day.
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.
:ghug :ghug
I have this hanging on my wall in my office.
The Difference
I got up early one morning
and rushed right into the day
I had so much to accomplish
that I didn't have time to pray
Problems tumbled about me
and harder came each task
"Why doesn't God help me? I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."
I wanted joy and beauty,
but the day was gray and bleak,
I wondered why God didn't show me,
He said, "You didn't seek."
I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and loving said,
"My child, you didn't knock."
I woke up early this morning,
and paused before starting the day.
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.
:ghug :ghug
He's got you on the ole hamster wheel. It's seems the more you do for him, the more you do. Can you see it for the game it is?
So if he chooses not to self manage his emotional state ( which he is, as you know, quite capable of doing) his diabetic state will preclude him from returning to rehab and instead, going to prison?
If he chooses to not pack himself up, well then, guess what. He goes back to rehab or prison, with the clothes on his back, like a street urchin. His choices/his consequences.
So breathe. Take each hour as it comes. And let him begin to realize the consequences of his silly choices.
So if he chooses not to self manage his emotional state ( which he is, as you know, quite capable of doing) his diabetic state will preclude him from returning to rehab and instead, going to prison?
If he chooses to not pack himself up, well then, guess what. He goes back to rehab or prison, with the clothes on his back, like a street urchin. His choices/his consequences.
So breathe. Take each hour as it comes. And let him begin to realize the consequences of his silly choices.
In the words of Annie, "tomorrow, tomorrow, i love ya tomorrow, you're only a day away."
You post brought me back to the first time my daughter went to rehab. She had been in a dual diagnosis type place for 5 days - pretty much just stabalizing and detoxing and I had worked like crazy trying to get her in a 30 day program (they suggested outpatient..been there done that too often and knew it was useless in her case at that time, but they were not into fighting to get the insurance to cover it) In any event, finally succeded and flight was scheduled for the day after she was released. That 24 hours was one of the most insane I have experienced. I thought if she was doing it her way (going home first to pack, say good bye, etc) that she'd buy into more -Well she was buying into the idea of one last hurrah, so I spent virtually the entire time trying to make sure she could not use. Yes, I was deeply into my codependency at that time...each of us flying high in our respective disease.
I was never so happy to see as when I knew she had arrived and was safe in rehab. I'm glad you have better tools than I did then, Winnie - You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. You are almost there, hang on
I was never so happy to see as when I knew she had arrived and was safe in rehab. I'm glad you have better tools than I did then, Winnie - You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers. You are almost there, hang on
I remember the first time my son went to rehab. He made me promise not to cry as the bus drove away. CRY??!!?? Hell, I wasn't about to cry, it was all I could do not to jump up and down with joy until after the bus turned the corner.
I pray all goes well tomorrow, not just for him but you obviously need the break and rest.
Hugs
I pray all goes well tomorrow, not just for him but you obviously need the break and rest.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
One more day Winnie and then you can sit back and relax a bit. The cra* that life throws at us in certain times drives me batty. YOU can control yourself for a little bit longer than you can relax and breathe.....and hope the best for your son. I know how aggravating they can be and believe me ~~ I. also have had to hold my tongue at times with my son. Hopefully this rehab can change his life and yours...Smiles, Bonnie
Winnie, praying for all of you. I wish I would have known what I know now when my son was your age. I hope that rehab is a good place for your son's recover, and that you and your daughter also find serenity in the days and weeks to come.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
OMG Ann you had me laughing!!! And oh so right, my feeling were the same.
Oh I love that! The more you do for him; the more you do. Once I realized that (only not in such a concise phrase!) my life got SO MUCH BETTER!
(((Winnie)))
It's almost 5a.m. Hopefully, in a few hours, he will be heading for rehab. I'm sorry he was driving you crazy yesterday, or as OTL said, had you on the hamster wheel
I'm hoping that today, you're house is restored to a quiet, and peaceful haven for you and your daughter, and that your son takes advantage of the opportunity he's been given.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
It's almost 5a.m. Hopefully, in a few hours, he will be heading for rehab. I'm sorry he was driving you crazy yesterday, or as OTL said, had you on the hamster wheel
I'm hoping that today, you're house is restored to a quiet, and peaceful haven for you and your daughter, and that your son takes advantage of the opportunity he's been given.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Winnie,
I'm sorry I didn't see this last night to give you some encouragement. You have been through it all and this is just the last ounce before your son is off. I will be thinking of you today and I hope when he is in the rehab you have a chance to take some time for yourself............you so deserve it.
If it is not to late please tell your son we wish him well and we are looking forward to his recovery.
I'm sorry I didn't see this last night to give you some encouragement. You have been through it all and this is just the last ounce before your son is off. I will be thinking of you today and I hope when he is in the rehab you have a chance to take some time for yourself............you so deserve it.
If it is not to late please tell your son we wish him well and we are looking forward to his recovery.
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