Notices

Triggered Friday after work...

Old 01-30-2009, 01:37 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
NAP
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 97
Triggered Friday after work...

Hiya, it's Friday night and again the weekend looms ahead of me. I was really triggered getting off work tonight, firstly bypassing the regular Friday drinks at work, and also being in the city where it was so warm and everyone seemed to be outside sitting at bars drinking. Everyone seemed to have someone, or something to rush off to. This time of Fridays always makes me so sad. It triggers a real loneliness that is rooted in one of my first and most traumatic memories as a teenager, having moved away from a small town where I was very popular and involved, to another town (just before grad!) wherein I just didn't fit. We lived close to a school and I remember sitting with my window open listening to kids laugh and talk. I seriously contemplated suicide more than once but I pulled through. That is why I drank and always what triggers me most - being part of something I guess. Subsequently, I hate missing out and have spent alot of time, energy and money desperately trying to avoid it.

I'm only 28 days sober so I'm still grieving the loss of booze and the lifestyle I had with it. It's like an opposite - the weekends used to be great and the rest of the week sucked, and now it's reversed.

Fridays make me sad also 'cause I have nothing to look forward to now, even with the misery it sometimes brought.

I'm invited to a lovely gathering tonight but I feel like isolating...

Thanks for listening!
NAP is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 01:51 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
mergirl
 
Gypsy Feet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Most (maybe all) of my friends got shipped out with the booze as well. I am looking forward to someday making some new healthier friendships. In the mean time, I will spend my friday night with my year old nephew and a good book.
Gypsy Feet is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 02:53 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 381
Nap,

Your story really resonates with mine. I know the Friday Night Loneliness all too well. I live in a very urban area where come 7:00 on a friday night, the place just gets wild. And even though I'm supposed to feel better about *not* being one of those loud drunk people causing a ruckus leaving the bars, I still get pretty envious.

Since I joined this board, alot of my loneliness has gone away. Stick around and keep posting. This is a wonderful place. Glad to see you here.
LaDita is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 05:11 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
peaceful seabird
 
Pelican's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822


Welcome to the SR family, NAP!

We're glad you are here. Congratulations on your 28 days sober. Stick around and read and post, you can have a network of international friends!
Pelican is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 05:40 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Awaiting Email Confirmation
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Congrats on the 28 days!

Friday night meetings and/or planned activities with clean/sober friends are great.
tommyk is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 05:45 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
adore79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi and welcome NAP! I just replyed on another thread the importance to our happiness of having small things to look forward to. As you progress in recovery I'm sure you will find other activities that you enjoy and replace the need to drink. For loneliness, my dog is always a source of unconditional love for me and I look forward to seeing her everytime I come home. Welcome again, and congrats on your sober time.
adore79 is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 11:46 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
heidicldwll's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 25
Hi and welcome to SR, keep coming back and sharing we are very supportive and will not judge you for any reason. Congrats on 28 days.

Heidi
heidicldwll is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 12:16 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: MN
Posts: 528
I had problems my first weekend trying to stay busy & sober. I like you used to associate weekends with having a blast by getting drunk, WHo-Hoo!
Last weekend I spent lots of time here, chatting, getting support. Then watching movies.

Stay strong! We all have had to get over that first weekend. You can do this!
ToABetterMe is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 06:13 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Too far from the beach
 
lovinmenow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Hey Nap,
Please don't feel down. You can always come to this board for support. The people here are great. I myself have made a list of things I can do instead of drink. Maybe you can do the same. It is also always fun to learn new things like maybe a new language, a musical instrument, read a good book. I recently got into making jewelry. I don't even wear much jewelry buy I found it keeps me busy. I also love to go fishing. The list of things/hobbies one can do is pretty long. Tonight I went skating just to stay busy. Good luck this weekend and stay clean. I will be thinking about you. Keep in touch.
lovinmenow is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 06:35 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
crypticpoet777
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 38
28 days sober is a lot, it may not seem so at times but it is.
Every day counts, ever hour counts, you're on your way to
a better life, I'm glad you're here.
crypticpoet777 is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 06:57 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
sfgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
I totally know what you mean. Today we had nice weather and I was in the park eating lunch with the dog and a friend and there were all these people drinking beers and talking. I felt a slight pang of jealousy at the beer for a second. There is something about sun and alcohol— I just don't know what it is.

My friday nights now are often just me, my computer, my dog, and my tv, and I am so used to expecting that. I think it is funny that you say you are "isolating"— I always say that I am "hermitting". But I am in month four now and it is actually so normal that I don't miss going out at all. Changing habits is funny because it seems so impossible in the beginning and now staying in just seems as normal as going out every Friday night used to seem. It used to seem like everyone always went out. Now I feel like everyone always stays in. My perception seems to have changed as well (or maybe I just think the world revolves around me). It is true that you have to grieve the loss of alcohol like it was your best friend or something who died. It sucks. Ugh. But got to be done.

Anyway the good thing about good weather is that during the day you can go walking and I have never been to Sydney but I bet you guys have amazing beaches. Watersports? Hell, I kind of want to be there right now. I just think of my days as the fun, outside social time and night as the me, relax, alone time and I really don't want people around me now that I am used to it. I always say that I need to hermit now.
sfgirl is offline  
Old 01-30-2009, 07:24 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmmm..
I just got home from an AA monthly birthday meeting.
60 members gathered ..we had 6 who celebrated. years.
They had...23-16-9-4- and 2 had been sober a year.
Many were going to dine at a local Mexican cafe.

Tomorrow night some will be playing poker after the meeting
Super Bowl Sunday ...2 members are hosting open houses.

AA? an awesome adventure in sobriety with great friends!


Congratulations on your sober time...
CarolD is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:00 AM.