Mimimalone

Hi there... I am hoping that someone can help me out and share their experiences as I head out into completely unknown territory. My AH is Day 10 in his rehab program and is really committed to change and is doing really well. I have been allowed to visit twice and each time, it has been 2 hours of his tears and apologies and pleas to stick with him. I want to be encouraging and supportive and feel that these conversations have been necessary for both of us... although I have not and can not make any promises about the future and am taking it one day at a time.

My dilemma is this. There is another visiting time this weekend. I want to go but I don't want to go over the same pleading and begging for another 2 hours. Maybe this is what visiting times at rehab are for... apologies and making amends. However, I can't face another 2 hours of this. I am too emotionally drained. Can anyone suggest alternate activities or things I should or could do during the visit so that we don't go round and round up and down again and again?

prodigal

I want to thank you for posting a question that I don't recall seeing on this board; that is not to say it hasn't been posted, I just don't recall it.

I have been through THREE rehabs with my AH. Three. And on visiting days, each and every time, all the family and friends met with an addictions counselor prior to meeting with the family member in rehab. We discussed our own concerns, fears, and backgrounds.

From my experiences, no, this is NOT what occurs during the vistation period. There have always been counselors present during the visting sessions in case things became a bit difficult for the visitor or the "inmate." I have seen similar situations. The counselors always took the parties involved into a separate room. The rest of us would continue our visits in a serene atmosphere.

How about getting his main counselor, or one of the addictions counselors to talk with you prior to the meeting? Give the facility a call and voice your concerns. They probably will speak with him too. If you feel uncomfortable, ask one of the counselors to be there to mediate. If things become too emotionally draining for you, feel free to leave.

I never had this happen in any of the three rehabs my AH was in. Not that he ever got sober, but at least in rehab there were always counselors there to protect his emotional well-being and MINE too.

tommyk

Don't stay for two hours.

Spiritual Seeker

Is there a family counseling component at his treatment ctr. ?

Set your boundary with him about you will talk about and tell him you'll leave if he doesn't abide. Stay in a group.
3 visits in 10 days seems excessive. Why is visitation so often?

Taking5

Tell him you don't want another marathon apology session and if he still makes it one, leave.