eeerooo

I haven't told you the whole story. I am in the process of moving to another tate because my boyfrend(ALSO AN A Got a good job and made arrangements for me to move in with him in this new place. Moving is extremely stressfull. I am leaving my family behind and I feel guilty and afraid. The result.....I'm on my 8th beer. The truth is...my boyfriend is an A but so is my 31 year old son. He was in the war. It sucks. The stress is just too much. Geez, I need to go to AA and AlAnon, Is anyone in this freaking position. You can walk out on your drinking buddies, but not your loved ones that drink.

I hope that when I arrive at my destination that I have internet so I can talk to you guys. You understand me, my family does not.

By the way, today is my 49 birthday(lousy excuse to drink).

From an alcoholic who loves other alcoholics. I hope I can communicate with you soon. Its just that the stress took over. Some alcohlics can handle stress much better than me. I can't for S***T. My God. I failed but please keep being my friends. I still love dogs and other stuff(wish beer wasn't one). Love you, the drunk(or almost) btch, Erica

grateful2b

Happy Birthday, Erica!!

6


I am glad you came to share..
we only fail when we stop trying

Aysha

Dont be so hard on yourself.
Happy Birthday by the way.
How bout stopping at 8 and calling it a night and wake up fresh?
Just take it easy.
Your not a failure until you quit trying. And a slip isnt considered not trying. Your here talking. So you must still got that fight in you.
I hope you get some rest and just go easy on yourself.

Horselover

What they said definitely. You haven't failed and I'm glad you came here and posted.

Happy Birthday 6

I hope tomorrow is a great day for you!! I also hope you'll keep reaching out. :ghug3

Hevyn

That's right, a real failure wouldn't even have bothered to come here. You're a work in progress, Erica, just like the rest of us. Some are further along than others. It took me months of reading on here to finally lay down the beer. I was led here for a reason, and so were you. I know you can do this - don't give up on yourself.

colagirl

Hi Erica,
I have a really hard time dealing with stress too, and have had a lot of false starts. It does get easier though as you start to get through things here and there without a drink... just keep plugging away!

Happy birthday!

eeerooo

I know I have real frends here. Its just harder for some of us to quit than others. God has blessed me with really good physical health, just lousy mental health. One day I will be able to do it. I just can't handle stress and I need help.

My boyfriend wants me to start waking up at 5:30 TO WORK OUT,,,,,i WONDER HOW HE DOES IT...HE DRINKS TOO. But he is a very nice person. Hess a nice drinker not a mean psycho drinker like me. He's one ofthose nices drinkers who will be affected phyically and I will lose him when he is 50. He drinks but he is nice. Never hurt nooone just got duis. I on the other hand am a psycho drinker. I do anything and everything when I drink. But I keep waking up every morning. Why?

seemethrough

Hey, happy birthday. I am sorry you aren't having a good day. I was feeling pretty bad today myself, but with the help of people here I was able to get past it. Help is here and people here want to help, keep reaching out. By the way, I love dogs too. I really wish I had one of my own.

Isaiah

Happy birthday!

Keep in mind that you are among an entire community of poor stress-coping skills. That's what landed us all in the bottle. We sure as the sun are your friends. Hope you'll have internet where you're going.

And definitely yes on AA and AlAnon! It's an hour or so of your time and if you absolutely hate the meeting you can try another or none at all. No commitment required! If you like it you'll have a whole other support network to keep you going.

You're awesome. Always come back.

eeerooo

I have to shihshus and i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITHTHAM YET BECAUSE i WILL B MOVING TO A RENTAL AND MY BOYFRIND TOLD HIM THER4 WR4E4 NO DOGS. i WANNA BE WITH MY DOGS. THEY ARE GOING ON 9 YEARS OLD THEY NEED ME. MAN, I MUST BE REALLY MESSED UPK, i CANT FIND THA CAPS LOK KEY. Where oh, I found it. Wow. I am not mocking anyone. I am just a harder case to treat than others but please, don't abandon me because i CAN'T STO RIGHTNOW.

LOVE ERICQA

eeerooo

i AM PROUD OF THOSEE OF YOU THAT WERE ABLE TO STAY SOBER. iF i KEEP DRINIG i AM GOING TO LOSE MY BOYFRIEND. IMAGINE THAT EVEN ALCOHOLICS CAN'T STAND ME. ITS BEEN 30 YEARS. HOW DO I DOIT????? i JUST CANT PICTUR4E LIFE WITHOUT BEER. I WAS IN THE ARMYT AN BEER WAS LIKE OUR SAVIOR. DAMN THE MILITARY

eeerooo

MAN, ALL OF YOU EXPRESS YOURSELVES SO FINE, MY BRAIN IS REALLY MESSED UP AND I CAN'T EXPRESS MYSELF AS WELL. I AM AFRAID THAT I HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE. OH WELL, IF I DO, ITS MY FAULT. I JUST CAN'T BECLIEVE THAT THERE ARE ALCOHOLICS THAT EXPRESS THEMSELVES SO WELL(YOU GUYS). i HAVE AN MS AND I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF WORDS TO SAY THAT IS WHAT REALLY SCARES ME THAT I HAVE BRIAN DAMAGE. AFTER I WITHDRAW FROM ALCOHOL, I HAVE TO WITHDRAW FROM KLONOPIN(VERRY FREAKING ADDICTIVE) SO ALL I HAVE AHEAD OF ME IS ANIGHMARE. i JUST WANT PEOPLE THAT WILL TALK TO ME. NOT SELF PITY. CHEMICALLY, I AM REALLY SCREWED. I ALSO LICKE COKE AND TRIED CRACK. BECAUXE SOMETIMES ALCOHOL WASN'T ENOUGH. I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. JUST ANY DRUG THAT WILL STEER ME AWAY FROM THE DRE4ADED DEPR3SSION. BY JUST TALK ME THROUGH THIS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

KenL

Erica,

You have had enough beer for one night. It is time to stop now. Stay online and talk to us. Just stop drinking.

What time is it where you are?

KenL

Erica dear, I'd like to talk you through this but you need to stick to this thread. Please reply so that those of us who are here can help you.

eeerooo

i KNOW ITS NOT MY BIRTHDAY ANYJORE ITT 12:30. i'M ON MY LAST. i'M ONLY 5'4 i'M, GETTONG CLOSE TO PASSING OUT. NO MORE BEER. YOU GUYS ARE SO STRONG ANY LITLLE BIT OF STRESS MAKES ME DRINK. i OWNDER WHEN I'LL BE ABLE TO STOP.

LOVE YOU, YOU ARE A SPECIAL FRIEND, KEN

KenL

thanks Erica,

Are you going to try to stay awake and alert, to talk, or go to bed?

Ken

seemethrough

With all due respect, perhaps it would be best if she went to bed or if this conversation continued through PM's and not on a forum where people are trying to stay sober.

eeerooo

I'M ABOUT REDY DO PASS OUT AND GO SLEEPY. I KMOW I WILL HAVE THE NASTY THIRSTY TOMMORROW. BETTER PUT THAT JUG OF CRYSTAL LITE ON MY NIGHT TABLE. WHY CAN'T I STOP????? STRESS JUST KILLS ME, HOW AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET AND KEEP A JOB? THERE IS NO WAY..i'VE LOST MY LAST 3 JOBS BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL. HOW DO YOU STOP AFTER 30 YEARS????? AA IS ALOT OF TALK BUT IT DOES NOTHING FOR THE CHEMICAL SCREW UPS IN MY BODY. IT DOES NOTHING FOR TH3 ARRYTYMIA THAT I GO THRU WEHN I'M NOT DRINKING NOR THE HEADACHES, BACKAKES. ALL THE CRAP i FEEL WHAN I STOP DRINKNG. WHAT IS THE SECRET. NO DTS JUST LOUSY PHYSICAL AN NERVOUS SYMPTOMS WHEN I STOP DRINKING. SORRY I'M SO NEGATIVE BUT I JUST NEED SOMEONW WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT IT IS HARDE4R FOR ME TO QUIT THAN OTHER(MAYBE I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT)??"??

KenL

I think so. Thanks everyone for trying to be there for her when she was asking for the help.

eeerooo

I'm sorry if i offended anyone who is trying to stay sober!!!! Sorry