I need to vent
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I need to vent
47 days sober today, and I'm hanging on by a thread.
I don't give a sh!t about anything right now. I don't like my father. When the hate wears off, I still won't like him. I'm tired of walking on egg shells around him because he's always in a b!tchy mood (he's an alcoholic, too). He never laid a hand on me, but he knows what to say to cause pain. For the first time EVER I said "F*ck you!" to him (and a lot of other things after that)...I know that's nothing to some people...but that's disrespectful. I'm done with this bullsh!t.
I'm doing my best to stay sober and I'm living everyday with untreated anxiety/depression. I don't know what to do and I'm stuck living in this house with him.
It would be so easy to f*ck it all. I simply do not have the energy or mental stability to do this anymore.
I've had it with as$holes.
I don't give a sh!t about anything right now. I don't like my father. When the hate wears off, I still won't like him. I'm tired of walking on egg shells around him because he's always in a b!tchy mood (he's an alcoholic, too). He never laid a hand on me, but he knows what to say to cause pain. For the first time EVER I said "F*ck you!" to him (and a lot of other things after that)...I know that's nothing to some people...but that's disrespectful. I'm done with this bullsh!t.
I'm doing my best to stay sober and I'm living everyday with untreated anxiety/depression. I don't know what to do and I'm stuck living in this house with him.
It would be so easy to f*ck it all. I simply do not have the energy or mental stability to do this anymore.
I've had it with as$holes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
bam...i'm glad your venting here. It will help....I think acknowledging our anger and pain is the first step toward changing things.
I can't tell you how very very impressed and happy i am for your 47 days....remember how you struggled to get that????
Please don't let your father take that away from you
I can't tell you how very very impressed and happy i am for your 47 days....remember how you struggled to get that????
Please don't let your father take that away from you
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I'm trying to calm down...I'm looking up information on my heart problems in order to try to stop the urge to get smashed. I'm so close to finding out what's wrong and I don't want to blow the sobriety I have. One week and I see a cardiologist (as long as that doesn't fall through...I have bad luck).
Am I ever going to get out of this hole?
Am I ever going to get out of this hole?
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I don't get it...I wasn't having a bad day until about 3 hours ago. One person with the wrong words is enough to blow a good mood for me...I can't control how I react AT ALL. Think it and be it does not work. If it did, I'd feel wonderful right now and would never have an urge to drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
bam hang in here....i ws eating dinner....you are doing so many right things write now!
Your posting, you're expressing, your identifying problems...
As bad as it may feel all of this is gonna lead you someplace good (hug)
and excersise is a great tool to release the anger and frustration.
How are you now bam????
Your posting, you're expressing, your identifying problems...
As bad as it may feel all of this is gonna lead you someplace good (hug)
and excersise is a great tool to release the anger and frustration.
How are you now bam????
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