KindBird

I have two nights this week which I know will be a challenge and I just need to tell this to all of you. Tuesday we have a friend coming to dinner who I have had wine with for years. My plan is to have my favorite non-alcoholic drink ready (dilute cranberry juice) and simply say "no thanks" to the wine (I can't even remember if I have had a dinner with her and not had wine in the 10+ years I have known her).

On Wed I am meeting with a group I have known for > 15 years.. this group I have often met with and not had wine, so I am not concerned about what they will think, more concerned if I will be able to keep away from the open bottles of wine. I hope to get a glass of water and stay away from the wine area.

If you have any advice I would love it. Just putting this down gives me a big boost in my plan to get through these two days. Besides - Friday is day 20 for me and I really want to make it to day 20 this Friday! :ghug

fall

It's all about what you want for yourself KindBird. If you choose not to drink, then NO-ONE has the power to affect your choice otherwise. YOU are in control! Best to you!

Aysha

No advice. I dont have much problem with having my DOC in my face ever.
Good Luck tho. You can do it. Just have a good tasty non alcoholic drink at your reach.

ToABetterMe

Well, now you've made your self accountable, Good for you!
You want to be able to bump this thread on Thursday & say "I DID IT"

We will all be checking, so just know there are thousands of people cheering for you!
You can do it

Astro

Good plans to have for both events, usually just a simple "no" is all it takes. If that doesn't work and you feel you're being pushed to drink, then why not say "no thank you, I don't drink anymore"?

gemeritus

A. I can't see the wine drinkers as peer-pressure types. It's painting funny pictures in my head.

B. It is really easy to slip. My former drinking buddies did the pop-in last night. Probably would have given in, except these cheap bas*tards didn't bring beer.

Thank God for small miracles.

weekendbinger

Kindbird:

Do you think you could tell your close friend you are trying to stop? or maybe say you are "detoxing" from another too indulgent night?

TryingSoHard

You can do it, KindBird. Just make up your mind RIGHT NOW that NO MATTER WHAT you're not drinking Tuesday. Worry about Wednesday once Tuesday is over. Besides, making it through Tuesday's dinner will just give you the extra boost you need to get through Wednesday that much easier!

I bet it works out that tomorrow night's dinner is no big deal. Just have your cranberry drink ready and politely decline if the offer of wine comes up. Is the dinner at your house? If so, that makes it easier because then you've got more control! This is a good thing.

YOU CAN DO IT.

I can't wait for you to come here Tuesday night or Wednesday morning and tell us you made it.

KindBird

You are all so amazing. I have tears in my eyes right now because I just put this out there and here I have all this great support. This is amazing. I know you are all there with me and for me and I really feel like I will make it through these nights.

Wow and Thanks!

TryingSoHard

:ghug3

KindBird

Hey to all.
I got through the first of the two challenging nights, and I think last night was the more challenging. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT. I literally thought about this group a couple of times during dinner and it was so helpful. Somehow the wine just stayed away from my place on the table (I felt like I put out a forcefield keeping it in others' hands ).

Someone on SR (I wish I could remember who) said they drank cranberry juice with lime in it now that they were not drinking. So I added lime to my favorite drink of half cranberry, half water - it was really good (never would have thought of lime and cranberry). Thank you SR for this treat!

Will also check in after tonight's challenge. Will have all of you with me tonight too!
kindbird

masseyman

Accountable here.

This thread is helping me too KindBird. I have a couple of nights in a row this Thursday and Friday. I'll be in the UP (upper peninsula of Michigan for those that don't know) these two nights staying a friends little motel in a room alone. Snowmobiling with my uncle and cousin, also taking my daughter to Lake superior state. I usually alway drink alone, so I'm a bit concerned.

No phones, no internet in the sticks.

I too will try to think of all of you those nights.

Good job on no drinks at dinner.

Peace to ya.

ToABetterMe

KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!

KindBird

Just got home from Challenging Night Number Two - and I made it with soda water in hand! It was not as hard as I thought it might be! Yes!

Thanks to all of you so much. I do want to be accountable to this stuff and you are such good witnesses!

nickishine

Congrats Kindbird for "doing it"... You deserve recovery and sobriety!

I had a test last night.... My daughter took me out to the Hard Rock Cafe and her BF is one of the bartenders there (sweetheart)! Anyways, we had our dinner at the bar as it was sooo slow and we chit chatted there for quite sometime. I had sparkling water with lemon and lime and it was great and no desire to drink whatsoever. UNTIL.......I see a Cosmopolitan being served in the pretty little martini glass and that was it for me. Thank God we were wrapping things up for the evening at that point and I let my daughter know that that was my cue to leave. After leaving, I just kept thanking God that I'm sober and recovering! It was strange for me as I haven't had ANY desire or urge to drink these past 13 days, but seeing that one drink literally had my mouth watering! Passed that test.... and so did you! I'm proud of you... & me!:ghug3

sobrietyseeker

Awesome! Thanks everyone. This place is amazing!

I think you just have to be honest and say that you
don't drink no more. Period.

It's not going to help you to make up stories or white lies.
If your "friends" can't handle it, too bad.

I remember when I quit smoking weed, my friends
would try to coax me into taking a toke and I'd say no. If you
want to, go for it. But not for me.

They're still my friends.

Just be strong and honest and you'll be fine.

KindBird

Thanks to all of you.


Nickishine - I can see how seeing that one drink in the glass could be a trigger. It is amazing how that old stuff can pop up - some of it is predictable and some of it isn't. I keep hoping that if I think ahead I will have plans for how to deal with this stuff. And then there is the support of the SR group - I have to say I called on that in my heart a lot over the past few days - thinking "I want to go back and tell them that I made it".. that is a motivator.

Thanks for your story and your sobriety - Yes, we do deserve this!

In day 19 and feeling very grateful!

TryingSoHard

Isn't it?!? I love that. It gives you an extra little sense of accomplishment knowing that you can come here and share your success later.

I'm so proud of you!! But I KNEW you could do it.

Horselover

I'm proud of you too Kindbird. You are almost to 20 days or is it 20 days today! I don't know that I could have made those challenges so early in the game.

I registered recently on Facebook and I've got 2 old friends from high school that want to visit us here in New Mexico and I'm like all for it EXCEPT I will have to tell them I no longer drink. Both friends are still pretty big partiers, but they will have to party without this chick. I'm sure our relationship will change, but it will be so good to see them and have them back in my life that I don't care.

Again, congratulations!! Sorry I came so late, but glad your outcome was so great!!

KindBird

Thanks Horselover for checking in.. Tomorrow is my 20th day (will complete 19 today). It is amazing help to be here. I hope your old friends understand your decision. Now that I am not drinking I think about my non-drinking friends differently - like I can get something from them about being in life without alcohol.

Hey TSH - you have been such amazing support - wow, and thanks!