I made my own plans. Feels good.
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I made my own plans. Feels good.
I've read a lot of sound advice about focusing on me and making my own plans when ABF is out drinking. I've read it will do alot for my seft esteem and overall stress level.
I didn't realize how much fun even a simple outing would be.
My ABF is gone most nights for hours sitting in his truck getting drunk. Sometimes he calls to say when he'll be home. Other times, I'm left to wait for him.
Weeknights are easier, I work at home so I can focus on that until he comes in, and I usually stay in my office if he's ready to pick a fight.
Weekends are harder. Without work to focus on, it leaves me plenty of time to obsess about his drinking. How long he's been gone. How much he would have consumed. How angry he'll be when he comes home.
I decided yesterday that this Sunday, I would go out. I love movies, and we rarely go out to one anymore. I got a list of movies and times online and for the better part of the weekend, I actually looked forward to him leaving. I was actually hoping, instead of him quitting the drinking, that he'd stay away even longer than usual.
The stars aligned, my HP at work, and he was gone just in time for me to get to the theater, grab what I wanted to snack on all for myself, and get to the seat I got to pick out without a debate.
I could not stop smiling as I left the theater. To leave without hearing him bitch about the people, the expense, or the quality of the movie was like a breath of fresh air. It's so much more fun to do things without someone who's put off drinking to join you, and therefore in withdrawals. I could have sat in the car for 2 hours, and it would still have been fun, I think.
As I was leaving, I got a message on my phone. He was home and I wasn't, and he wanted me to be sure to know that. He used my full first name, not my nickname, so I would know how pissed he was.
I grabbed some chinese food on the way home and bopped into the house with a smile. ABF was bleery eyed and irritated and, you know, I couldn't have cared less. He had checked my internet history and had it all figured out where I went. He did a lot of quacking about how he could have taken me out if I wanted him to, how he thought I didn't like going out in the first place, how I just left him sitting at home to go galavanting around. Quackity, quackity, quack.
Thankfully, I was in too good a mood to point at that he really has it backwards when it comes to who's "galavanting."
This is a reminder to those who have forgotten, like me, what it is like to put yourself first over the A in your life.
Do it for you!
I didn't realize how much fun even a simple outing would be.
My ABF is gone most nights for hours sitting in his truck getting drunk. Sometimes he calls to say when he'll be home. Other times, I'm left to wait for him.
Weeknights are easier, I work at home so I can focus on that until he comes in, and I usually stay in my office if he's ready to pick a fight.
Weekends are harder. Without work to focus on, it leaves me plenty of time to obsess about his drinking. How long he's been gone. How much he would have consumed. How angry he'll be when he comes home.
I decided yesterday that this Sunday, I would go out. I love movies, and we rarely go out to one anymore. I got a list of movies and times online and for the better part of the weekend, I actually looked forward to him leaving. I was actually hoping, instead of him quitting the drinking, that he'd stay away even longer than usual.
The stars aligned, my HP at work, and he was gone just in time for me to get to the theater, grab what I wanted to snack on all for myself, and get to the seat I got to pick out without a debate.
I could not stop smiling as I left the theater. To leave without hearing him bitch about the people, the expense, or the quality of the movie was like a breath of fresh air. It's so much more fun to do things without someone who's put off drinking to join you, and therefore in withdrawals. I could have sat in the car for 2 hours, and it would still have been fun, I think.
As I was leaving, I got a message on my phone. He was home and I wasn't, and he wanted me to be sure to know that. He used my full first name, not my nickname, so I would know how pissed he was.
I grabbed some chinese food on the way home and bopped into the house with a smile. ABF was bleery eyed and irritated and, you know, I couldn't have cared less. He had checked my internet history and had it all figured out where I went. He did a lot of quacking about how he could have taken me out if I wanted him to, how he thought I didn't like going out in the first place, how I just left him sitting at home to go galavanting around. Quackity, quackity, quack.
Thankfully, I was in too good a mood to point at that he really has it backwards when it comes to who's "galavanting."
This is a reminder to those who have forgotten, like me, what it is like to put yourself first over the A in your life.
Do it for you!
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Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice 
I could not stop smiling as I left the theater. To leave without hearing him bitch about the people, the expense, or the quality of the movie was like a breath of fresh air. It's so much more fun to do things without someone who's put off drinking to join you, and therefore in withdrawals. I could have sat in the car for 2 hours, and it would still have been fun, I think.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I used to go the movies a lot by myself before I met my boyfriend. I've gone a few times over the years when he was out of town or what have you. Something about the early show crowd that I like. I used to get off work just after four, and I'd go to the theater across from my office to catch the matinee price.
I saw Frost/Nixon. I like action films best, but I also really like Ron Howard's directing. Apollo 13 is a favorite of mine. I thought the movie was great.
I was the youngest person in the theater by at least a couple of decades. Gave me a safe feeling actually.
When I was settling into my seat, there was a couple in maybe their mid seventies to one side watching me. The both smiled when I looked up (that really great kind of smile that shows up more in the eyes). They were probably just happy to be out of the house, too. When I got up to leave, the same couple gave me a little wave good-bye.
It wasn't until I got to the car that I realized I had a smile on my face. I bet that's what they were smiling at. I forgot how infectious that can be.
I saw Frost/Nixon. I like action films best, but I also really like Ron Howard's directing. Apollo 13 is a favorite of mine. I thought the movie was great.
I was the youngest person in the theater by at least a couple of decades. Gave me a safe feeling actually.
When I was settling into my seat, there was a couple in maybe their mid seventies to one side watching me. The both smiled when I looked up (that really great kind of smile that shows up more in the eyes). They were probably just happy to be out of the house, too. When I got up to leave, the same couple gave me a little wave good-bye.
It wasn't until I got to the car that I realized I had a smile on my face. I bet that's what they were smiling at. I forgot how infectious that can be.
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