TOPIC: Forgive And Forget. That Is The Question.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
TOPIC: Forgive And Forget. That Is The Question.
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP and the
fellowship of SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink
of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely
grateful.
FORGIVE AND FORGET. That is
the question.
Do you have that certain someone
who treated you cruely in the past
and years down the road u reflect
on that incident. Did you forgive
them and just move on with your life.
Or......
Do you still allow them to occupy
ur thoughts and continue to question
why they did that to you?
I know for me I was hurt as a child
growing and always wondered why
me out of the 4 kids my parents had.
I always felt singled out and made to
look different from the rest.
Fear had me to conceal the physical
and verbal abuse from my friends and
those that knew me.
When you carry on whatever abuse you
recieved from the previous enviroment
then it is now infected. The change
of events continue on.
As a result of her own childhood abuse
she passed that on to me.
I didnt ask to be chosen and wondered
why me many millions of times.
I got sober back in Aug. 1990 and learned
about alcoholism and lives affected . I realized
what was going on in my life. Why what
happened to me wasnt my fault and to not
blame the person who harmed me. They
were just as sick as i was.
Sure i remember often the pain i endured
as a child and will never forget it. However
i also learned to forgive the person that
harmed me and moved on with help from
an awesome program an guidance from
Above.
If i continued to harbor resentments towards
people that harm me, then im sure i would
still be drinking. Let Go and Let HP.
Thanks for letting me share.
By the Grace of my HP and the
fellowship of SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink
of alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and you I am truely
grateful.
FORGIVE AND FORGET. That is
the question.
Do you have that certain someone
who treated you cruely in the past
and years down the road u reflect
on that incident. Did you forgive
them and just move on with your life.
Or......
Do you still allow them to occupy
ur thoughts and continue to question
why they did that to you?
I know for me I was hurt as a child
growing and always wondered why
me out of the 4 kids my parents had.
I always felt singled out and made to
look different from the rest.
Fear had me to conceal the physical
and verbal abuse from my friends and
those that knew me.
When you carry on whatever abuse you
recieved from the previous enviroment
then it is now infected. The change
of events continue on.
As a result of her own childhood abuse
she passed that on to me.
I didnt ask to be chosen and wondered
why me many millions of times.
I got sober back in Aug. 1990 and learned
about alcoholism and lives affected . I realized
what was going on in my life. Why what
happened to me wasnt my fault and to not
blame the person who harmed me. They
were just as sick as i was.
Sure i remember often the pain i endured
as a child and will never forget it. However
i also learned to forgive the person that
harmed me and moved on with help from
an awesome program an guidance from
Above.
If i continued to harbor resentments towards
people that harm me, then im sure i would
still be drinking. Let Go and Let HP.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
WOW!
aasharon90, how on time can something be?!!
Really like the eleventh step prayer ( St.Francis prayer ). "...it is by forgiving that one is forgiven........". I, like you, experienced some very bad things at the hands of those who were supposed to be our protectors, teachers, guardians i.e. parents.....For most of my life I harbored such resentment (hatred) for my parents until, through the steps, I understood they were sick too. They were passing on to me what had been passed on to them....yes....I forgave them, and forgiving others is much easier as well. Within my innermost self I am forgiving. Each day I live the steps there is more and more inner forgiveness and a peace which comes with it. The program of recovery works, and works well if committed to. No forgiveness-resentment, no forgiveness-conflict, no forgiveness-pain, no forgiveness-using......Forgiveness-peace, forgiveness-sobriety, and lastly, forgiveness-freedom..................
aasharon90, how on time can something be?!!
Really like the eleventh step prayer ( St.Francis prayer ). "...it is by forgiving that one is forgiven........". I, like you, experienced some very bad things at the hands of those who were supposed to be our protectors, teachers, guardians i.e. parents.....For most of my life I harbored such resentment (hatred) for my parents until, through the steps, I understood they were sick too. They were passing on to me what had been passed on to them....yes....I forgave them, and forgiving others is much easier as well. Within my innermost self I am forgiving. Each day I live the steps there is more and more inner forgiveness and a peace which comes with it. The program of recovery works, and works well if committed to. No forgiveness-resentment, no forgiveness-conflict, no forgiveness-pain, no forgiveness-using......Forgiveness-peace, forgiveness-sobriety, and lastly, forgiveness-freedom..................
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by least 
My biggest problem is being able to forgive anyone but myself. I am trying to be kinder to myself but it so hard to love myself AS I AM.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Sober since 1990! Wow! So to emulate your success it would be 2036...
Back to topic, i was talking to my counseller last week and she said i would have to go through my feelings towards my family, especially my mother...nothing too bad just really cold house, no hugs, love etc! It is hard to forget your family i think as they keep popping up every so often so i guess, for me, the best thing would be to forgive, forget and move on. I don't think i will be forgiving and then renting a villa in spain for a family get together but i can move on i hope!
Back to topic, i was talking to my counseller last week and she said i would have to go through my feelings towards my family, especially my mother...nothing too bad just really cold house, no hugs, love etc! It is hard to forget your family i think as they keep popping up every so often so i guess, for me, the best thing would be to forgive, forget and move on. I don't think i will be forgiving and then renting a villa in spain for a family get together but i can move on i hope!
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by aasharon90
I always felt singled out and made to
look different from the rest.
look different from the rest.
I, too, was abused in the ways that I think we might be talking about here - 10 yrs. of it. Through the death of my son, I was able to forgive several people who'd violated and hurt me as a child and into my teenage years, thank God!
I'm blessed that I don't have that anchor around my neck anymore. Just the self-hatred anchor that I'm so acustomed to carrying! I'm ready to start loosening that noose by #1, not drinking, #2, doing what I have to, prevention if you will, to help me to not do #1!
Thanks for posting!
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