When does it ever end?? Good lord....
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When does it ever end?? Good lord....
This has been the week from hell. I've had a super stressful work week and ABF only has added to the stress. I feel like I've aged 10 years at least.
I told him a couple of weeks ago that he could no longer drink in my home. His job had him working 12-14 hours a day but on his days off, I know he was drinking some. His liquor of choise is Jager which I despise. I can smell it on him the second I walk in the door and I swear it almost gives me the dry heaves.
Anyway, he did end up losing his job this week. I knew it was coming. You can't hold on to a job like he had (very much in the public eye) and drink. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was done.
We talked and I told him again that he would continue to lose jobs until he got help. Sometimes I feel like his damn mother and I am sooo not his mother.
Well last night was "one of those nights". OMG, I thought it would never end. I had a huge event the evening before and thank God he listened when I told him he couldn't attend with me. But he stayed home and drank. Then he must have been drinking all day Friday because by the time I got home Friday from work he was passed out on my living room floor. He finally woke up around 10pm or so and it began. We both said some really mean things to the other. I knew better!! I just couldn't shut up even though I knew I should have just walked away. But this is a man who will follow me from room to room so I just let it all out. We were both crying. It was a bad night and I was never so glad to see him crash finally.
This morning he was supposed to have his kids. Well he must have gotten up again in the middle of the night because I could tell he was drinking. By noon when he was supposed to have them, I told him to leave my home. I knew that was a bad thing to do because he'd been drinking but I didn't want him at my home any longer. I've been telling him that the next time he drank in my home, would be the last time. So he left. I immediately called his family to let them know what was up. So now it's in their hands. They can find him and deal with it. I'm beyond exhausted and just brain dead.
On top of that my college age son decided to pop home this weekend so I'm trying to deal with a drunken BF and his issues and try to keep it all from my son. Lovely.
So ABF has called me at least 3 times, with the last call threatening to blow his head off. He threatens to blow his head off a lot so it's hard these days to know if he means it or not. If he did do something like that I'd probably never forgive myself for ignoring him.
I'm just glad his family is in touch with him. My last communication from them was that he was talking to them and asking for help. Thank God!!
I just can't deal with it right now. My head is pounding and I just want relief and quiet. I need peace.
Sorry for the length but I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening. I know it's not over yet, but at least he's out of my house. I just wish I didn't love him so much. That part hurts but he did this to himself. I hope he can finally get some help or at least realize he even needs it. Maybe losing this second job was his rock bottom. Who knows.
I told him a couple of weeks ago that he could no longer drink in my home. His job had him working 12-14 hours a day but on his days off, I know he was drinking some. His liquor of choise is Jager which I despise. I can smell it on him the second I walk in the door and I swear it almost gives me the dry heaves.
Anyway, he did end up losing his job this week. I knew it was coming. You can't hold on to a job like he had (very much in the public eye) and drink. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was done.
We talked and I told him again that he would continue to lose jobs until he got help. Sometimes I feel like his damn mother and I am sooo not his mother.
Well last night was "one of those nights". OMG, I thought it would never end. I had a huge event the evening before and thank God he listened when I told him he couldn't attend with me. But he stayed home and drank. Then he must have been drinking all day Friday because by the time I got home Friday from work he was passed out on my living room floor. He finally woke up around 10pm or so and it began. We both said some really mean things to the other. I knew better!! I just couldn't shut up even though I knew I should have just walked away. But this is a man who will follow me from room to room so I just let it all out. We were both crying. It was a bad night and I was never so glad to see him crash finally.
This morning he was supposed to have his kids. Well he must have gotten up again in the middle of the night because I could tell he was drinking. By noon when he was supposed to have them, I told him to leave my home. I knew that was a bad thing to do because he'd been drinking but I didn't want him at my home any longer. I've been telling him that the next time he drank in my home, would be the last time. So he left. I immediately called his family to let them know what was up. So now it's in their hands. They can find him and deal with it. I'm beyond exhausted and just brain dead.
On top of that my college age son decided to pop home this weekend so I'm trying to deal with a drunken BF and his issues and try to keep it all from my son. Lovely.
So ABF has called me at least 3 times, with the last call threatening to blow his head off. He threatens to blow his head off a lot so it's hard these days to know if he means it or not. If he did do something like that I'd probably never forgive myself for ignoring him.
I'm just glad his family is in touch with him. My last communication from them was that he was talking to them and asking for help. Thank God!!I just can't deal with it right now. My head is pounding and I just want relief and quiet. I need peace.
Sorry for the length but I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening. I know it's not over yet, but at least he's out of my house. I just wish I didn't love him so much. That part hurts but he did this to himself. I hope he can finally get some help or at least realize he even needs it. Maybe losing this second job was his rock bottom. Who knows.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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He wasn't going to hit bottom on your living room floor with you there to deal with him.
You had to do what you had to do, and in this twisted game of addict-opoly you made a bold move that just might get him to hit bottom and climb out on his own.
It's the only way.
Let it all out, there are a lot of folks listening here.
Peace to you.
Hope you can find some joy in your son's visit home! College guy, huh? Nice! See, there's your sliver lining. Probably wants to do his laundry done.... Heehee.
You had to do what you had to do, and in this twisted game of addict-opoly you made a bold move that just might get him to hit bottom and climb out on his own.
It's the only way.
Let it all out, there are a lot of folks listening here.
Peace to you.
Hope you can find some joy in your son's visit home! College guy, huh? Nice! See, there's your sliver lining. Probably wants to do his laundry done.... Heehee.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
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Originally Posted by BrandiSue 
But this is a man who will follow me from room to room so I just let it all out. I've been telling him that the next time he drank in my home, would be the last time. So he left.
If he decides to blow his head off, that is his choice to make. You are not responsible for anyone choosing to drink or drug themselves to death. You are also not responsible if they choose to kill themselves with a weapon.
This is a frequent threat made by addicts. I believe their motive behind doing it is to manipulate their victim into feeling guilt. It's also popularly known as "quacking."
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Originally Posted by ItsmeAlice
He wasn't going to hit bottom on your living room floor with you there to deal with him.
You had to do what you had to do, and in this twisted game of addict-opoly you made a bold move that just might get him to hit bottom and climb out on his own.
It's the only way.
Let it all out, there are a lot of folks listening here.
Peace to you.
Hope you can find some joy in your son's visit home! College guy, huh? Nice! See, there's your sliver lining. Probably wants to do his laundry done.... Heehee.
You had to do what you had to do, and in this twisted game of addict-opoly you made a bold move that just might get him to hit bottom and climb out on his own.
It's the only way.
Let it all out, there are a lot of folks listening here.
Peace to you.
Hope you can find some joy in your son's visit home! College guy, huh? Nice! See, there's your sliver lining. Probably wants to do his laundry done.... Heehee.
He's a great kid and I'm fortunate. I have a wonderful daughter and new grandson nearby as well. They complete me. It's just been so sad seeing ABF go slowly down down down.
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If he is harassing you in YOUR home, you have the right to call the police.
I realize that. I've got a bit of a sticky situation there. He is very good friends with pretty much all of them. We've talked about this in the past. They all have each other's backs. I know I could pick up the phone and call the Chief and explain the situation and he'd be there.
But ABF would never forgive me for that. It's that weird brotherhood thing they've all got going on. I know what I'm saying is stupid, but I just couldn't do that to him as much as he's done to me. He isn't harrassing me. He's just yakking his head off. I guess you all call that quacking. <still learning terminology here>
He hasn't called me now in a while so am assuming his family is with him working through the latest. One can only hope. Can't help but worry about him but he made his bed. I've been telling him for a very long time now that some day it would come to this.
I realize that. I've got a bit of a sticky situation there. He is very good friends with pretty much all of them. We've talked about this in the past. They all have each other's backs. I know I could pick up the phone and call the Chief and explain the situation and he'd be there.
But ABF would never forgive me for that. It's that weird brotherhood thing they've all got going on. I know what I'm saying is stupid, but I just couldn't do that to him as much as he's done to me. He isn't harrassing me. He's just yakking his head off. I guess you all call that quacking. <still learning terminology here>
He hasn't called me now in a while so am assuming his family is with him working through the latest. One can only hope. Can't help but worry about him but he made his bed. I've been telling him for a very long time now that some day it would come to this.
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Originally Posted by Freedom1990
You have the option to not pick up the phone when he calls. 
Remind me of this when I start waivering....arrghh.
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Originally Posted by BrandiSue
This has been the week from hell. I've had a super stressful work week and ABF only has added to the stress. I feel like I've aged 10 years at least.
I can smell it on him the second I walk in the door and I swear it almost gives me the dry heaves.
Anyway, he did end up losing his job this week. I knew it was coming. You can't hold on to a job like he had (very much in the public eye) and drink. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was done.
Sometimes I feel like his damn mother and I am sooo not his mother.
Well last night was "one of those nights". OMG, I thought it would never end.
But this is a man who will follow me from room to room so I just let it all out. We were both crying. It was a bad night and I was never so glad to see him crash finally.
I'm beyond exhausted and just brain dead.
On top of that my college age son decided to pop home this weekend so I'm trying to deal with a drunken BF and his issues and try to keep it all from my son. Lovely.
So ABF has called me at least 3 times, with the last call threatening to blow his head off. He threatens to blow his head off a lot so it's hard these days to know if he means it or not. If he did do something like that I'd probably never forgive myself for ignoring him.
I can smell it on him the second I walk in the door and I swear it almost gives me the dry heaves.
Anyway, he did end up losing his job this week. I knew it was coming. You can't hold on to a job like he had (very much in the public eye) and drink. I knew as soon as I saw him that it was done.
Sometimes I feel like his damn mother and I am sooo not his mother.
Well last night was "one of those nights". OMG, I thought it would never end.
But this is a man who will follow me from room to room so I just let it all out. We were both crying. It was a bad night and I was never so glad to see him crash finally.
I'm beyond exhausted and just brain dead.
On top of that my college age son decided to pop home this weekend so I'm trying to deal with a drunken BF and his issues and try to keep it all from my son. Lovely.
So ABF has called me at least 3 times, with the last call threatening to blow his head off. He threatens to blow his head off a lot so it's hard these days to know if he means it or not. If he did do something like that I'd probably never forgive myself for ignoring him.
I'm also wondering why you are proclaiming love for someone who behaves in this way and treats you in this manner. Perhaps you should consider thinking about that.
As a former battered spouse, I never regretted getting a restraining order and having the police remove my ex from the premises. And I didn't give a good cahoot if somebody who harrassed me to the point of insanity forgave me or not. Just my opinion ....
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Originally Posted by BrandiSue
I haven't answered any of the calls. He left one message. I'm not going to answer any of the calls either. I'm sure his family be in touch one way or the other to let me know what's up. But I want to be clear with them that he is not coming back here. This is hard for me to say because I care so much for him, but I can't do this.
Remind me of this when I start waivering....arrghh.
Remind me of this when I start waivering....arrghh.
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I'm glad to see you coming on here and sharing what you're going through. Although I have never been in a situation like yours, I was the alcoholic/addict who was putting everyone through hell while I was using. Thank God those days are over with.
I think you are a very strong woman for sticking to your guns and having him leave. I hope you can continue to practice the tough love by not letting him back into your home until he gets help.
I do question why you care so much if he got mad at you for calling the police. He obviously wasn't thinking about how you felt when he was drinking in your home against your wishes, was he?
Hang tough and enjoy your kids and grandbaby. I have a 20 year old son who finally does his own laundry . . . so there is hope! lol
God Bless,
Judy
I think you are a very strong woman for sticking to your guns and having him leave. I hope you can continue to practice the tough love by not letting him back into your home until he gets help.
I do question why you care so much if he got mad at you for calling the police. He obviously wasn't thinking about how you felt when he was drinking in your home against your wishes, was he?
Hang tough and enjoy your kids and grandbaby. I have a 20 year old son who finally does his own laundry . . . so there is hope! lol
God Bless,
Judy
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Originally Posted by serenityqueen
I'm glad to see you coming on here and sharing what you're going through. Although I have never been in a situation like yours, I was the alcoholic/addict who was putting everyone through hell while I was using. Thank God those days are over with.
I think you are a very strong woman for sticking to your guns and having him leave. I hope you can continue to practice the tough love by not letting him back into your home until he gets help.
I do question why you care so much if he got mad at you for calling the police. He obviously wasn't thinking about how you felt when he was drinking in your home against your wishes, was he?
Hang tough and enjoy your kids and grandbaby. I have a 20 year old son who finally does his own laundry . . . so there is hope! lol
God Bless,
Judy
I think you are a very strong woman for sticking to your guns and having him leave. I hope you can continue to practice the tough love by not letting him back into your home until he gets help.
I do question why you care so much if he got mad at you for calling the police. He obviously wasn't thinking about how you felt when he was drinking in your home against your wishes, was he?
Hang tough and enjoy your kids and grandbaby. I have a 20 year old son who finally does his own laundry . . . so there is hope! lol
God Bless,
Judy
His brother checked on him this morning. He evidently had no heat in his house and was freezing and sick. Imagine that. It's still hard for me not to go over there and check on him myself. He has called me probably 10 times.
Oh and my son did his laundry!! Hallelujah.
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