prettypoison

I went to see a counselor today in an attempt to deal with some of the issues that contribute to my drinking, the things I believe I'm trying to drown out.
As I'm answering questions for my assessment she gets to the medical history part and asks me if I drink. I say 'I've been sober two weeks today, I am an alcoholic'. She stops writing and looks over at me. She tells me she doesn't uaually deal with clients with alcohol and drug problems. She goes on to explain to me that it's because "we" alcoholics etc. lie, manipulate and she can't trust if "we" have been using. My heart fell into my stomach.

I didn't know what to say, my head was spinning and my heart racing. I felt so embarrassed, I felt like apologizing for having a drinking problem.

As the session went on she basically said she would work with me under two conditions:
1) that I got into AA and obtained a sponsor (BTW, I have no problem with AA)
2) that I take antidepressants (to assist in not drinking?)

Well I'm conflicted about this. She seemed like a nice lady, are her requests reasonable? I've never had anyone give me "conditions" for talk therapy, but I'm looking for help and I don't know if I'm just being sensitive about this. Please let me know what you think....

Anna

No, I don't think you're being too sensitive.

Clearly you had to be honest with this person about your drinking. But, if I were you, I would not want her to be my therapist. I don't feel that I could depend on someone with an attitude like that to help me. Also, I think that it's your dr who should be talking to you about antidepressants. I think your therapist could recommend something to you, but it's up to your dr and you to make that decision.

sugErspun

I think she is right about the lying, manipulation, trustworthiness.

I had therapists sign off my BS and "overuse of alcohol" for years because of my: depression, ADD, OCD, mania, agoraphobia, social awkwardness. It's true - we are rarely completely honest with a therapist that we are paying to make us feel better. These days I think that if a therapist isn't making someone uncomfortable - challenging them - they aren't doing their job (this is just an opinion - I have been a patient to no less than 15 shrinks over the years [psychiatry and psychology])


Are you being sensitive? - Seems like she hit a nerve, so ...yes.

Jomey

Umm... that's interesting. I have no experience with talk therapy, but my gut reaction to your post is that I can understand, if she does not usually deal with drug/alcohol addiction problems, that she would like you to have the support of AA and a sponsor, but she will need to be able to support you as well.

As for ordering medication, I personally would not be comfortable with that kind of blanket statement at a first meeting with a counsellor. What is her professional title? Would she be writing the scripts for you, or would you be referred to a psychiatrist or MD for that?

As I said, I don't have experience here, but I think your questions are very valid and I'm sure someone who knows more will have input.

KindBird

I would be concerned about a therapist telling you in the first session to go onto antidepressants.

desertdonna

PP, I don't know if I could continue with a therapist who demanded those stringent conditions in order to have a therapeutic relationship with me. I'm sorry that you felt so downcast after seeing her; I'd feel the same way.

I have no problem with AA either, only the demand that you attend.

I do have a problem being told that I must take antidepressants if I'm not sure that I want or truly need them.

She may be nice, but I would be very conflicted as well. It sure wouldn't hurt to look around for a different therapist, someone who will work with you without the stringent stipulations.

Good luck.

Big hug,

Donna

grateful2b

((Pretty)), I worked with a woman years ago...she was amazing..and she shared with me about a client she worked with who used(she brought it up because we were talking about my AD)...but she tended to focus on the work they did which was bringing him closer to the day when he wouldn't use...this woman was very good
the way I see it , the person you saw had boundaries for herself, good or bad. I personally think I would not want to work on my addictions with someone who had such a biases.
For me, therapy should be a safe place, free of judgment...I would keep shopping for another therapist

allport

You might be better trying to find a trained substance abuse counsellor if at all possible, I don't think her requests are reasonable.

Are you paying for this service or is she doing you a favour?

It's fine to work with a challenging therapist but not a controlling one.

This is only my opinion of course check out some more opinions and maybe try for a second medical opinion.

Aysha

I think in all reality. Alot of therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist that say things like that have little or no education on addiction. I doubt it has anything to do with lieing and manipulation. It doesnt take an addict or alcoholic seeking therapy to be like that. I am sure alot of people seeking that kind of help do it too.
My guess is she didnt want to say she has no idea about dealing with addicitons.
I would suggest finding a new one that does deal with or even speacializes in addictions.
IMO..If she wants to see you. She will see you. Not with conditions like that.
It can always be suggested that a person attend meetings. But it should never be a requirement unless your mandated by a court.
Thats just my 2 cents.

December15

Sounds like she was having a bad day - get another one.

Sn0man

I'll agree with other posters here - you should probably find a councellor who has some experience or otherwise deals with people with addictions. The therapist you saw shouldn't be 'prescribing' you medications on your first visit, when you didn't go there asking for one.

I don't think she's the kind of therapist you need.

Fubarcdn

If you don't feel comfortable with her and her demands then you should seek help elsewhere if possible.

LaDita

Pretty,

I was turned down for counseling that I sought for my issues other than my own drinking, and when I told them that I had a problem with alcohol and they referred me to someone who specialized in chemical dependency. It was a real let-down, but I think it's somewhat common-place and I pretty much understand their motive for doing that. However to insist that you take anti-depressants right away seems a little suspect to me. In any case, I would 'shop around' a little more for someone who is more understanding and feels right for you. *hug*

bugsworth

I absolutely do not think her request are reasonable and agree that if I were you, I would not want her as my therapist. aa is suppose to be "voluntary", go if you want but not as a condition for her treatment.

Dee74

I wouldn't be seeing a therapist who's already pegged me as lying and manipulative simply by virtue of the fact I'm an alcoholic.

Get to know me first and then we'll talk about it LOL.

Good therapy should be personalised - it shouldn't be needlessly challenging or uncomfortable - it just needs to be effective.
D

prettypoison

I really appreciate your input. I am paying to be there because I need help. I was honest about being an alcoholic because it's important for me to recover. That wasn't easy for me to do. And that made her reply that much more hurtful, I finally lay it all out there and she rejects me for being an alcholic...(even though she conceded with terms). I agonized over that all the way home in my car.

I agree, I need to go to someone who does deal with substance dependancy issues. And at this point I don't believe I need meds...just someone to help me untangle my emotions and teach me how to cope with life on it's terms (without my old crutch white zinfandel).

I doubt I would ever be comfortable bringing up anything related to bad choices related to my drinking in the past....sadly, that is part of my story.

James13

Like many who have already responded, yes, there are some concerns here, imo.

AA can be a good idea, but it clearly states it is a program of attraction, not promotion. This seems like promotion.

Also, if this is your first visit and the condition is that you take medication, well, that seems odd.

Peace.

bugsworth

You were right to be honest, but you have the right to be treated with respect.

louis

Hi Pretty.

I saw my psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago and we talked about me seeing a psychologist. My psychiatrist said the psychologist may ask for abstinence before/while treating me as my alcohol intake could/can effect progress in therapy.

I see a seperate therapist for my alcohol issues, but this didnt seem to matter.
Personally I'll stick with the therapist i've got and trust that doesn't put pressure on me and knows i will do what i need to do in my own time. Also if there's no outside pressure i am more likely to succeed in this battle.

Just an after thought. As far as i remember.
Psychiatrist - use medication
Psychologists _ use therapy

Psychologists & therapists CANNOT medicate.

Either way. You need to do whats right for you and you will never recover/work through things if you dont/cant trust who you speak to.

Be well
louis

littlefish

She was way off base saying that because you are an alcoholic you will lie and be manipulative. That may be true when we are out there deep into the abuse: but what motivation would there be to lie to a therapist you are paying money to talk to?
why the anti-depressents?
The only thing she said that made sense is that she doesn't normally work with alcoholics: so she admitted she is not qualified.
I would keep looking, for a substance abuse therapist.