inner battle....

Old 01-22-2009, 08:35 PM
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inner battle....

For the first time in a year I must say I am relatively calm tonight. Ah is in his 2nd week of a 3 month program. We have had no contact so far. House rules at this point. I am so worry free at this time knowing that he is safe where he is and I am not on eggshells wondering if he is coming home tonight or if he is where he says he is. Its just me and the girls and it is wonderful. I really think we would be ok on our own. In this short time apart I have realized that I dont want to give this up on a "maybe he will do it this time".
I dont ever want to go back to what our lives were.
Now, I just have to work on not feeling guilty about putting me and the kids first.
Why do I feel like I am abandoning him when he is trying really hard to fight this thing.
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:31 AM
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Hi Pegasus,

Enjoy that peaceful and serene feeling! I'm glad to hear that your AH is working a program, and I hope that it will last.

You have no reason to feel guilty about putting yourself and the girls first. You have to be a complete, whole, and healthy mom for your girls, and your girls deserve a stress-free and carefree childhood.

Good luck and good wishes! HG
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:03 AM
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I dont know if this helps any but I'm the parent of an addict and even I feel that sense of relief when my son is gone. I had such a peaceful time when it was just my daughter and i and i learned that life actually doesnt have to be so hard - in fact life can be pretty nice when there's not a lot of drama. I was happier and in turn my daughter was happier. He's here now and even though i do feel guilty because a parent doesnt naturally feel these things, i look forward to when he leaves again and we can get back to just living. As a mom its your responsibility to put your children first and you have to take care of yourself to be the best mom you can for them. You are absolutely right in putting yourselves above the problems he has caused in your lives.
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