My sons keychain
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My sons keychain
My 16 year old has a NA 6 month clean key chain that he carries that is not his. It belongs to a good friend of his, who has been clean for over a year…problems with benzo’s . When I asked him about it, he said that he has not had a drink, or “done anything else” for over 6 months…he was busted about a year or so ago smoking pot and I put him in counseling.
This is the thing, I am proud that he has decided that he “doesn’t want to ruin his life his families life or be that guy that everyone pities” and therefore has chosen not to drink or experiment with drugs. What concerns me is the image that he is portraying to others that see the keychain. I am not sure if I should say anything to him or not.
This is the thing, I am proud that he has decided that he “doesn’t want to ruin his life his families life or be that guy that everyone pities” and therefore has chosen not to drink or experiment with drugs. What concerns me is the image that he is portraying to others that see the keychain. I am not sure if I should say anything to him or not.
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could be his opportunity to share the program with someone else who may benefit from his recovery/progress. Shame is one of those things that keeps lots of us imprisoned in our addictions and especially our codependencies. I am proud of him for being able to 'show' his recovery without shame.
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Originally Posted by BeyondBSC 
What concerns me is the image that he is portraying to others that see the keychain. I am not sure if I should say anything to him or not.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
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Addiction/alcoholism are shame-based diseases.
We are as sick as the secrets we keep.
I often found the discomfort that I felt with things that my kids did as they got older was not in what they were doing, but in how it might reflect on me as a parent.
Thank God I have moved past that in my own recovery.
My mother is now 76 years old and is still stuck in that mode of thinking, and it's really sad.
We are as sick as the secrets we keep.
I often found the discomfort that I felt with things that my kids did as they got older was not in what they were doing, but in how it might reflect on me as a parent.
Thank God I have moved past that in my own recovery.
My mother is now 76 years old and is still stuck in that mode of thinking, and it's really sad.
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I have a 16 year old son (no alcohol/drug issues), his Mom is our A qualifier and active.
I would be enormously proud of my son if he did what your son is doing. And I wouldn't give a rat's behind what people thought about it.
Larry
I would be enormously proud of my son if he did what your son is doing. And I wouldn't give a rat's behind what people thought about it.
Larry
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I agree with all the posters here, when I was growing up, getting loaded was considered "cool", now being sober is considered "cool", I'd take that any day.
I mean C'mon, I'd rather have my son carry around a NA keychain the a Coke Spoon or a Pot Pipe.
Is it his image you are worried about? or yours?
I mean C'mon, I'd rather have my son carry around a NA keychain the a Coke Spoon or a Pot Pipe.
Is it his image you are worried about? or yours?
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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I am 63 and 1/2 years old. I have been sober and clean over 27 and 1/2 years.
EVERY vehicle I have owned, since finding recovery has 2 bumper stickers on the back. Since I drive pick up trucks, they are on the tailgate where they are more visible.
On the left is "EASY DOES IT" and on the right is "ONE DAY AT A TIME".
I personally believe that in this day and age, addiction is NO LONGER something to be ashamed of, especially when one is doing their absolute best to stay sober and clean.
So, I too will ask:
"What image are you afraid of?"
If it helps your son stay away from drugs and alcohol, how about saying "thank you" to HP and smile?
J M H O
Love and hugs,
EVERY vehicle I have owned, since finding recovery has 2 bumper stickers on the back. Since I drive pick up trucks, they are on the tailgate where they are more visible.
On the left is "EASY DOES IT" and on the right is "ONE DAY AT A TIME".
I personally believe that in this day and age, addiction is NO LONGER something to be ashamed of, especially when one is doing their absolute best to stay sober and clean.
So, I too will ask:
"What image are you afraid of?"
If it helps your son stay away from drugs and alcohol, how about saying "thank you" to HP and smile?
J M H O
Love and hugs,
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Wow…I really love the replies on this one…
I am very proud of my son, who has chosen to take a tougher road by NOT drinking/drugging. I wonder, and worry, that maybe during the period of time when he was smoking pot, that he was experimenting with other things. I THANK GOD that he was also angry, which led me to get him in a program and him to his true self. Now, I have this 16 year old boy who is working on becoming a man, I am proud of every bump that we have had in the road. I am not worried about my image. He was able to recognize that he was heading the wrong way and pull himself away. If only we could have all done the same at such a young age.
I was concerned that he was trying to portray an image, of someone who partied…I was worried that maybe I missed something a year ago, or ignored a symptom. I was worried that he wants to fit in so much, that he now has a friend in recovery, which I think is pretty extreme at 16, and i worry of the chance of that friend steering him in the wrong direction somewhere down the road. just being honest here...there is that chance!
After reading the responses, I feel better. I am hopeful that it will serve as a reminder to Dougie of where it is that he never wants to be. In NA, working on six months.
Is there a teen alanon program???
I am very proud of my son, who has chosen to take a tougher road by NOT drinking/drugging. I wonder, and worry, that maybe during the period of time when he was smoking pot, that he was experimenting with other things. I THANK GOD that he was also angry, which led me to get him in a program and him to his true self. Now, I have this 16 year old boy who is working on becoming a man, I am proud of every bump that we have had in the road. I am not worried about my image. He was able to recognize that he was heading the wrong way and pull himself away. If only we could have all done the same at such a young age.
I was concerned that he was trying to portray an image, of someone who partied…I was worried that maybe I missed something a year ago, or ignored a symptom. I was worried that he wants to fit in so much, that he now has a friend in recovery, which I think is pretty extreme at 16, and i worry of the chance of that friend steering him in the wrong direction somewhere down the road. just being honest here...there is that chance!
After reading the responses, I feel better. I am hopeful that it will serve as a reminder to Dougie of where it is that he never wants to be. In NA, working on six months.
Is there a teen alanon program???
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Where should I start??? Hahaha…
Honestly...without my kids knowing...having to be accountable, being a bad example, kidding myself and trying to fool them into believing that it is ok to date, marry, divorce and befriend active alcoholics. I am truly afraid of facing myself and the choices that I have made and continue to make.
It was easy when they were little. Now they are young men, who know what goes on behind closed doors…I am more afraid of them judging me.
I am not afraid of them making right choices though. Being better than me.
Honestly...without my kids knowing...having to be accountable, being a bad example, kidding myself and trying to fool them into believing that it is ok to date, marry, divorce and befriend active alcoholics. I am truly afraid of facing myself and the choices that I have made and continue to make.
It was easy when they were little. Now they are young men, who know what goes on behind closed doors…I am more afraid of them judging me.
I am not afraid of them making right choices though. Being better than me.
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My son _was_ using drugs at 16 and it took him ten years of 'research' to finally get to the point where he was ready to turn his life around.
When I read your last post I was reminded of the guilt that I felt because of his bad choices. He made lots of good choices too....but it's odd how I never took credit for those but instead had a nagging sense that somewhere, somehow I had failed as a mom.
Al-Anon came to my rescue and I learned that I didn't cause, can't cure and can't control someone else's alcoholism or addiction. (The 3 C's)
Do you attend Al-Anon?
When I read your last post I was reminded of the guilt that I felt because of his bad choices. He made lots of good choices too....but it's odd how I never took credit for those but instead had a nagging sense that somewhere, somehow I had failed as a mom.
Al-Anon came to my rescue and I learned that I didn't cause, can't cure and can't control someone else's alcoholism or addiction. (The 3 C's)
Do you attend Al-Anon?
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Originally Posted by BeyondBSC
Is there a teen alanon program???
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