Can I make "short-term" goals instead of trying to quit forever? Has anyone tried it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 44
Can I make "short-term" goals instead of trying to quit forever? Has anyone tried it?
Hi, me again. Please don't hate me for saying this, but I'm not sure that I want to quit PERMANENTLY. I'm not even sure I'm a true alcoholic. I LOVE to drink and always drink until I'm buzzed or beyond ( or else..what's the point?) I don't drink every day. I may go days or weeks without a drink and not miss it. BUT, I look forward to the parties, vacations, celebrations, etc. when we all drink and let loose. And those days I want a few glasses of wine, beer or whatever to unwind! Plus- I'm a nutritionist and take very good care of myself (physically) most of the time. Drinking doesn't/hasn't affect my work, my health (except for some weight gain), my family, my expenses, etc.So here's my plan: I set goals of 3-4 week increments where I don't drink. I mark a day on the calendar when the time is up and I can "reward" myself with a few drinks, then do another 3-4 weeks or so, and so on. Sort of like you do when you are on a diet.
Has anyone done this? I'd like to hear everyone's opinion on this. I truly do value your opinions. I'm just trying to figure out a way that I can enjoy a few drinks on occaision without binging or going overboard. I just can't imagaine totally quitting something that I enjoy.
Isaac
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Danville, IL
Posts: 3
My opinion
If you ask me, you need to decide if quiting is more benificial than drinking. If thats true than you work on staying sober one day at a time. This means that you wake up and say, "today my goal is to do what I can to stay sober." This needs to be done everyday, then before you know it you have months an years sober. Decide if you need your sobriety, than you can work on the rest.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
This probably will not be a very popular response here but I say give it a try. I know that won't work for me but if it works for you then it is all good IMHO. It id much better than faltering on one of those occasions, feeling guilty and drinking more because of it. If it isn't working for you you can always go back to quitting completely.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Hi HC!
Welcome to SR!
You are planning to drink "responsibly."
Yet you say when you drink you "always drink until buzzed or beyond."
Do you have blackouts?
How about behaviors while intoxicated..any remorseful mornings?
I am not sure why you want to stop.
I don't know if you are alcoholic.
I know I am, and if I picked up a drink, I would not stop until
"buzzed..or way beyond."
The way I stay sober is to not pick up at all.
One Day At a Time.
Hugs,
And Good Luck!
Welcome to SR!
You are planning to drink "responsibly."
Yet you say when you drink you "always drink until buzzed or beyond."
Do you have blackouts?
How about behaviors while intoxicated..any remorseful mornings?
I am not sure why you want to stop.
I don't know if you are alcoholic.
I know I am, and if I picked up a drink, I would not stop until
"buzzed..or way beyond."
The way I stay sober is to not pick up at all.
One Day At a Time.
Hugs,
And Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 196
Sure go ahead and try it.
However, I've read your other posts and this seems to me like rationalization to begin drinking again. I know. I've done it. Go and read my 1st post here. I was sober 30 days and 'wasn't an alcoholic' and ended up back in AA after 2 months of "moderating".
I'm not saying that you can't moderate but I am saying go and read your own posts with an open mind before you try.
However, I've read your other posts and this seems to me like rationalization to begin drinking again. I know. I've done it. Go and read my 1st post here. I was sober 30 days and 'wasn't an alcoholic' and ended up back in AA after 2 months of "moderating".
I'm not saying that you can't moderate but I am saying go and read your own posts with an open mind before you try.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Glitzville
Posts: 334
Hippy, you can do anything you want. I believe that this is the third time you've come here seeking outside opinions, and I believe the last time you were so hungover that you weren't a very happy camper. I guess what I'm trying to say is the only person who can decide this is YOU. I can't say that you'll be successful with what course you've outlined for yourself; you either will or you won't. But I suppose you will find out if you try to adhere to your calendar method over a period of time. So give it a go if that's what you want.
I can pretty much say that this forum does not espouse moderation because it doesn't work for most of us. To think otherwise is denial. That's why it is a recovery forum. And personally, if I had to work so hard to find only those occasions where I could "let loose" and then diligently abstain the rest of the time, I think I'd go nuts. It's a no brainer for me.
If you find your method doesn't work the way you want it, that alcohol proves to have more negatives than pluses in your life, please remember that there is a lot of support here for you.
Good luck.
I can pretty much say that this forum does not espouse moderation because it doesn't work for most of us. To think otherwise is denial. That's why it is a recovery forum. And personally, if I had to work so hard to find only those occasions where I could "let loose" and then diligently abstain the rest of the time, I think I'd go nuts. It's a no brainer for me.
If you find your method doesn't work the way you want it, that alcohol proves to have more negatives than pluses in your life, please remember that there is a lot of support here for you.
Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I agree with Donna - you can do what you want, HC.
but I have to say - this statement?
leads me to suspect you're gonna have some difficulty.
If you're 'always' drinking like this (or even if you're just regularly drinking like this) and then not drinking for a bit - that's not control, it's binge drinking.
As a nutritionist you'd know how harmful and undesirable that is.
It's also no less alcoholic behaviour than any others here.
I didn't see the point in not drinking to 'buzzed and beyond' either - that's why I had to quit, HC - because with alcohol things always get worse, not better.
I hope you buck the trend, but if you can't, I hope you come back and use us
Good Luck.
D
but I have to say - this statement?
I LOVE to drink and always drink until I'm buzzed or beyond ( or else..what's the point?)
If you're 'always' drinking like this (or even if you're just regularly drinking like this) and then not drinking for a bit - that's not control, it's binge drinking.
As a nutritionist you'd know how harmful and undesirable that is.
It's also no less alcoholic behaviour than any others here.
I didn't see the point in not drinking to 'buzzed and beyond' either - that's why I had to quit, HC - because with alcohol things always get worse, not better.
I hope you buck the trend, but if you can't, I hope you come back and use us
Good Luck.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 44
Originally Posted by desertdonna 
Hippy, you can do anything you want. I believe that this is the third time you've come here seeking outside opinions, and I believe the last time you were so hungover that you weren't a very happy camper. I guess what I'm trying to say is the only person who can decide this is YOU. I can't say that you'll be successful with what course you've outlined for yourself; you either will or you won't. But I suppose you will find out if you try to adhere to your calendar method over a period of time. So give it a go if that's what you want.
I can pretty much say that this forum does not espouse moderation because it doesn't work for most of us. To think otherwise is denial. That's why it is a recovery forum. And personally, if I had to work so hard to find only those occasions where I could "let loose" and then diligently abstain the rest of the time, I think I'd go nuts. It's a no brainer for me.
If you find your method doesn't work the way you want it, that alcohol proves to have more negatives than pluses in your life, please remember that there is a lot of support here for you.
Good luck.
I can pretty much say that this forum does not espouse moderation because it doesn't work for most of us. To think otherwise is denial. That's why it is a recovery forum. And personally, if I had to work so hard to find only those occasions where I could "let loose" and then diligently abstain the rest of the time, I think I'd go nuts. It's a no brainer for me.
If you find your method doesn't work the way you want it, that alcohol proves to have more negatives than pluses in your life, please remember that there is a lot of support here for you.
Good luck.
Peace & Love, hippychicky
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I tried it. It worked fairly well at first. My rule was to just drink when my girlfriend of the time drank. So I'd just have a couple when we went out to eat or she'd bring a decent beer home with her. I cheated a few times, but felt that I'd still kept myself under control. But I used job stress as an excuse to break down and went right back into daily, heavy drinking. So I would say if you're going to take this route you do not want to accept even the smallest deviation from your rule. As the adage goes, "give it an inch and it'll take a mile."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Phila, PA
Posts: 41
You seem to spend an awful lot of time thinking about it..posting here...planning schedules around it
I wonder if people who don't have a problem with alcohol spend so much time thinking about their drinking?
I wonder if people who don't have a problem with alcohol spend so much time thinking about their drinking?
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
I pretty much agree with what the others have said. You are free to do whatever you want, with or without our "approval". I don't think you'll get too many positive responses about this experiment, because it wouldn't work for 99% of us, but we're not you.
Just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth, but I agree that this sounds like a desperate attempt to rationalize and convince yourself that things aren't as bad as they really are. I've certainly done that myself. I had to learn - the hard way - that yes, my problem was such that the only way to control my drinking was to end it completely. If that winds up not being the case with you, then good for you!!
Try your experiment. See how much you think about alcohol during the 3 - 4 weeks you're not supposed to have any. See if you crave it or obsess about it or cave in and drink on days when you tell yourself you won't (or if you bump up your reward date... perhaps you'll start by setting it at 4 weeks but then after 3 weeks think 'this is good enough'). See how you feel the morning after you drink. See if, once you start drinking, you can stop.
You say you drink "to get buzzed or beyond - or else what's the point". Go read the Friends and Family forum. They drink normally, and almost NONE of them drink to get drunk. They don't understand the point of THAT! LOL If you ever want a reality check on what's normal drinking, go read there for a while. Comments about sipping on one drink for a couple of hours, leaving a glass of wine after only drinking half of it, and thinking 2 beers is a lot will really set you straight in a hurry.
Please let us know how it goes.
Just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth, but I agree that this sounds like a desperate attempt to rationalize and convince yourself that things aren't as bad as they really are. I've certainly done that myself. I had to learn - the hard way - that yes, my problem was such that the only way to control my drinking was to end it completely. If that winds up not being the case with you, then good for you!!
Try your experiment. See how much you think about alcohol during the 3 - 4 weeks you're not supposed to have any. See if you crave it or obsess about it or cave in and drink on days when you tell yourself you won't (or if you bump up your reward date... perhaps you'll start by setting it at 4 weeks but then after 3 weeks think 'this is good enough'). See how you feel the morning after you drink. See if, once you start drinking, you can stop.
You say you drink "to get buzzed or beyond - or else what's the point". Go read the Friends and Family forum. They drink normally, and almost NONE of them drink to get drunk. They don't understand the point of THAT! LOL If you ever want a reality check on what's normal drinking, go read there for a while. Comments about sipping on one drink for a couple of hours, leaving a glass of wine after only drinking half of it, and thinking 2 beers is a lot will really set you straight in a hurry.
Please let us know how it goes.
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Oh, one other thing. You said drinking doesn't affect your health, except for some weight gain. That is totally untrue. Alcohol is very harsh on many major organs in the body, especially when large quantities are consumed (as during binge drinking). If you can moderate, that's great. But please don't fool yourself into thinking it won't affect your health if you are drinking to get plastered at least once a month.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
I certainly didn't want to drive you off HC...I guess 'come back' was a poor choice of words on my part.
I think SR is for anyone with alcohol problems - you've every right to post here
You mightn't find many supporters tho, mostly because we've all tried this way, or variations of it, and well - we've all obviously failed.
Not that I wish you failure, but I hope we do see you again - if that makes sense LOL
D
I think SR is for anyone with alcohol problems - you've every right to post here
You mightn't find many supporters tho, mostly because we've all tried this way, or variations of it, and well - we've all obviously failed.
Not that I wish you failure, but I hope we do see you again - if that makes sense LOL
D
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Originally Posted by JBones77
You seem to spend an awful lot of time thinking about it..posting here...planning schedules around it
I wonder if people who don't have a problem with alcohol spend so much time thinking about their drinking?
I wonder if people who don't have a problem with alcohol spend so much time thinking about their drinking?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Phila, PA
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Dee74
I certainly didn't want to drive you off HC...I guess 'come back' was a poor choice of words on my part.
I think SR is for anyone with alcohol problems - you've every right to post here
You mightn't find many supporters tho, mostly because we've all tried this way, or variations of it, and well - we've all obviously failed.
Not that I wish you failure, but I hope we do see you again - if that makes sense LOL
D
I think SR is for anyone with alcohol problems - you've every right to post here
You mightn't find many supporters tho, mostly because we've all tried this way, or variations of it, and well - we've all obviously failed.
Not that I wish you failure, but I hope we do see you again - if that makes sense LOL
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,055
HippyChick~ IMO and in my experience, when I tried to do what you are suggesting I would only end up back at square one, drinking way too much and way too often. It does sound to me like you are rationalizing, but another thing is that just because you "only" do it once a month it doesn't mean it's not a problem. All of us are different, and if you are able to control your drinking then that is great. But you just stated that if you drink and don't get buzzed or drunk then "what's the point". That statement in itself should tell you something. Just something to think about Hon =)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Phila, PA
Posts: 41
My vote is a big, resounding NO.
about as much as they think about broccoli........
The two don't go together. They're opposites. There's no logic in that.
I don't know if you have a problem with alcohol Hippy, as I've already read many times on this site, you're the only one who can determine if you have a problem. If you do feel you have a problem, I hope you come back. If not, hats off to you and bottoms up.
The Legend returns!
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 762
Personally I'd say do whatever you think is right. I'm the kind of person who as a kid had to burn their hand on the fire before i'd listen to my mom telling me i'd get burnt.
But just think about two things... what else in your life do you think about giving up and plan programs to "reward" yourself with if you manage to abstain for 3-4 weeks?
And finally
Don't you think every single person on this forum was at the same point you are now?
Where they felt in control of it and were sure they hadn't got a problem?
But hey go ahead, make your plans. Let us know how it goes
But just think about two things... what else in your life do you think about giving up and plan programs to "reward" yourself with if you manage to abstain for 3-4 weeks?
And finally
Don't you think every single person on this forum was at the same point you are now?
Where they felt in control of it and were sure they hadn't got a problem?
But hey go ahead, make your plans. Let us know how it goes
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
Yeah, it seems all of us here have experimented in one way or another with this idea.
I think you're always welcome here, HippyChicky! Regardless of whether or not you're intentions are to drink, the point is that you are, like all of us, trying to create manageable situations for life with or without alcohol. You've got a plausible goal in mind and this is a perfect place to ask for opinions since we've almost all been there.
I think you're always welcome here, HippyChicky! Regardless of whether or not you're intentions are to drink, the point is that you are, like all of us, trying to create manageable situations for life with or without alcohol. You've got a plausible goal in mind and this is a perfect place to ask for opinions since we've almost all been there.
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