kermit

Okay the kids and I are not moving in with my parents as I said in my last post.My Dad is really sick right now and it would have made perfect situation, however my daughter can't seem to find a reliable room mate and we can't afford her to be in her own place, that would defeat the purpose. I make ends meet, not much extra money but I do okay. Moving in with Mom and Dad would of helped everyone out. My mom just sits in her pj's everyday and complains, my Dad is not much help. And now he is going to start dialysis and I know he is going to get weak.
I had come up with a plan for the house so we could all fit, we were going to make the garage into a place for my A brother to live, but Dad said we were stupid and we could not do it. So my brother went on his tantrum about how and I quote "They just want me on the street thats all, no one cares about me blah blah blah" So I just looked at my Mom and said I'm sorry I have to go.
It is very painful to see my parents this way. Mom goes no where, is so sad and just wants to die.
I know in my heart that this is there choice to live this way, but it hurts.
I hate what Alcohol does to people and families

FormerDoormat

Me, too, Kermie. I find that when one solution (or job or home or what have you) doesn't work out as planned it usually means that there is something better waiting for me on the horizon.

Rella927

Kermie Sorry that you are going through this-It is not an easy situation-
I know that "In between" well myself right now but, I have faith that things will get
better for you! Keep that head held high and keep moving forward-and reaching!

Yup I agree!

kermit

I'm just so beside myself right now, my parents need me as much as I need them, why is it that my 47yr old A brother is more important then their health. I just want to help my parents, and yes it will help me a great deal too financialy, I think my parents can benifit as well. It is painful to see this happen to them. Why can't my Dad see what he is doing?

blessed4x

((((kermit)))).....Sounds like wherever you end up will be a much healthier place for you and your kids. My dad went through a couple years of dialysis and was very tired at first, but it did get better over time. He really just wanted to come home and rest and not have people, especially kids, around.

Sometimes we don't know why things don't go as we plan, but I have to believe that often it is to spare us the heartache we would have suffered.

Rella927

Sometimes we do not see what we are doing to ourselves-I do not think it is that
your brother is more important- I use to think that way with my brothers-but that is or was my mothers guilt playing there!

Can you talk to your Dad and sit him down and tell him what you just said here? Just a thought....

kermit

My kids will be there regardless. But they are old enough to be helpful, they know Grandpa is going to need rest. Here is what gets me, my Mom and Dad love having the kids, it keeps them going, so they tell me. My parents are all for us moving in, my Dad is just not for putting his son in the garage, even my brother said he is okay with it, we were making plans to insulate it ect... I'm wooried if I'm not in that house my Dad will do things he is not supposed to be doing, like driving my brother to work in the middle of the night, ect...
I just want what is best for everyone, I also know that having the kids there helps my Mom not be so depressed.
Rella, I have he won't hear me

Rella927

I can understand your worry there Kermie and that is a good thing that your kids will be there. Kids have a way of keeping most anyone going! Which is a blessing-

If your brother is ok with it then why not have him discuss it with your Dad....

I know it is hard on you right now but, try taking some of the burden off yourself and
allow others to help out!

Maybe if Dad hears it from him then he maybe ok with it.....

kermit

Rella, my brother did, but it is what it is. I will do the best that I can from here. ( I'm only 3 houses up from them) I can be there is a heart beat.But there is noone else willing to help, I have to clean, do laundry for two homes.. I take taht back my daughter helps me at our home when she is not working or going to school. I have to bathe Mom ever since she got hurt a little over a year ago. I also give her her insulin shots daily. The one thing that worries me the most is that they don't eat right, no matter how hard I try to get them to do something like meals on wheels , they won't have it! URGH!
Thanks for listening, I will be better tomorrow!

Bjen

It will be better tomorrow, that's funny, that's how I just ended my post!

And you're right, it will be. Hang in there.... Hugs

kermit

Not so much better today, however I Have the Day off so me, my daughter, and sister are taking Mom out to one of the reservations to play the slots today!

Still working on Dad!