deezaldog

I had a great opportunity to make a number of amends over Christmas Holiday. God put me at the right place at the right time!
I basically stated to each person that I regret any part I had in the breakdown of our relationship. Each amends went well, I thought. I found two of the young girls (V1, V2) on facebook. After making my amends we were able to have a great conversation and catch up on what has been happening. Later I saw that V2 had posted a most vulger video on her facebook site. I sent her a message letting her know that employers monitor these websites to see what potential employees post and this does not give a good impression. She understood, said "it is only a video" but removed it. Her sister V1 was stating some angry comments and I asked if she was o.k. she said "yah, just annoyed" Well, yesterday out of nowhere I get an email from V1 telling me to stop whining and never call again :wtf2.
My sobiety is stable but I am confused.
I did get angry for a bit and was about to remove her from my friends list.
Thanks for letting me vent. SR

C23

In my humble opinion, those of us who have found sobrierty are also enjoying life way more than peiople who have never gone through life with the "fog" we have. It sounds to me that you were just more aware of somethings your friends were doing and you were trying to be helpful. Sometimes people take you being helpful as you being invasive and opnionated. I personally would take this with a grain of salt, and if the person is really meant to be a friend, the relationship will continue.

Aysha

Sometimes its better just to keep some comments to yourself.

Sorry your helpfulness wasnt taken the way you would have liked.
Dont let it bother you too much.

Anna

You can only take care of yourself and your friends feelings are her responsibility.

You did what you could.

Fubarcdn

I think as a friend you did the right thing. Dr. Phil had this very thing on his show to warn people of the hazards of posting things anywhere on the internet. Their reactions probably had little to do with the fact that you are sober and more about the fact that you are more mature and see things that may hinder you in the future. They will hopefully come to their senses.

Ananda

Well...despite my desire to let others know things that I believe might be helpful to them, in general I find that others don't really appreciate me sharing my wisdom with them on what they should or shouldn't do.

And likewise I'm not real keen on others telling me what they think i am doing wrong either.

So most of the time i try to keep my thoughts to myself and let them walk their own path unless they have asked me...and even then I use care.....

Is it the truth and IS IT HELPFUL is my motto.

deezaldog

Wow folks, Thanks for the great insight. I did not think I was telling her she did something wrong, now I see I was only giving unsolicited advice.
Your input has been a great help.
That is why I think SR LOL

sugErspun

Ammends is about correcting harm caused more than it is about re-connecting with people from our past.

Just my opinion - but it seems like you created some harm by criticizing their facebook page, now you have some more ammends to make. What is vulgar to one, is not to another - and our problems are of our own making.

I have found it best that when making ammends to someone from my past - I stick to exactly why I am doing it (to correct a harm I caused) and move on...if part of "What can I do to make this right?" is being part of their life again - it is to be in their life the way THEY want me to be.

nickishine

We are only responsible for our side of the street. Are you doing amends on your own or are you working with someone?? Just curious is all.

Texasblind

Remember, we are to make amends "except when to do so would injure them or others."

Meaning, not all amends need to be made directly. Sometimes just writing them out and reflecting on it yourself is the best way. Did you discuss your amends with your sponsor before you made them?

We have already hurt these people with our abuse. If bringing that subject up will cause pain to the person, the amends should not be made directly. Rather by refusing to badmouth or even discuss that person to mutual friends or to keep a journal of un-realized amends and move forward free of regret.

Not everyone is ready to hear our apologies. It takes patience and time.