Finally Got Away
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Salem Oregon
Posts: 7
Finally Got Away
So it has been a month in a half since i had seen my XAB. IT wasn't how i planned on leaving the relationship. It started two/three months back, when I finally told him I couldn't be with him anymore. That he had to leave. His drinking, though only being with him for 7 or so months, was getting out of control. He is the type of drinker who you don't want to be around and every time he got drunk, he was thrown out for the night. I couldn't stand the thought of him drunk, nor could i stand to look at him while he was drunk. Lets say in the 7 or so months i was with him, i never saw him drunk and when i did it was only for a few minutes, enough to tell him to get out. He would always come back though, begging me not to kick him out, that he loved me and this time it would be different. Well i fell for it the first few times. He seemed sincere and even stated he was going to start AA. Shame on me, i actually believed him. And when I saw he wasn't attending any AA or even attempting to go to AA, it wasn't even a week when he got drunk again. That was the end of it for me. I told him to leave. He wouldn't leave. We had just found out i was pregnant. I told him fine, he didn't have to leave, but as far as i was concerned, he and I were not together anymore and he would be sleeping on the couch. It was at that point where I knew i didn't love him anymore. I couldn't even look at him sober anymore. He had lied to me so many times. He was on the couch for month. I stood my ground. I was done with it. I was done with him. He would get mad and say its been long enough. But I didn't let him back in. Even though i knew at that moment I didn't love him anymore, deep in my heart i was still hoping he would realize what he was doing, that he would actually TRY to make himself better, show me that he was willing to stay sober, TRYING to stay sober. It was only wishful thinking.
One Monday, I came home and he was gone and he did not come back the entire night, not one phone call, nothing. He came back the next day. I asked where he had been. He said he had the urge to drink so he went and stayed at the Union Gospel Mission, where they have AA. This seemed suspicious to me. The following Friday, he disappeared again. This time he stayed gone. I was more stunned than worried. I got a little worried as the weeks went by, but not worried enough to call and report him missing. I was done with him and though it did cross my mind to check maybe the hospital or file that report, I did not. I did not care. I feel like that is totally heartless to say, but i didn't care anymore. He left. He had the chance to change. He left me, 3 months pregnant with his kid.
Come last week, i ran into my daughter's nana at WalMart, who informed me that my XAB had been staying with my daughter's dad for the last month, drinking it up, came to their house XMas eve and drank a whole 5th of Rum to himself (supplied by my daughter's dad). This was a big reality hit. This man, who I thought I loved was nothing but a selfish piece of sh**. He was gone for this long, hadn't even called me, hadn't even called to see how his baby was, instead he went and stayed with my daughter's dad (who i don't like with a passion) and drank it up for a month. How could i have been with such a guy. Someone who was very good at lying and manipulating his way into situations, someone who doesn't care about no one but himself, someone who would always want alcohol instead of a real life. I realized something very important. This guy was perfectly content with being a bum on the street, sleeping under bridges. This guy was perfectly content with bumming or stealing money for his next drink. He didn't want to change. He would only change for so long as it suited him. I am happy he is gone. I am happy that I finally got away from him. I am happy that i will never probably see him again and perfectly happy that he will not be in the life of our child. I have only cried once over the situation and that was when i was erasing his pictures from my computer, but only the pics when we were honestly happy.
I just thought I would share my story with you all. If you look at prior posts, you will see that i have come a long way. He might have been the one to leave, but I stood my ground and would not let him back into the relationship.
PS for that month he was sleeping on my couch, saying he was sober, I have found beer cans underneath my bed.
One Monday, I came home and he was gone and he did not come back the entire night, not one phone call, nothing. He came back the next day. I asked where he had been. He said he had the urge to drink so he went and stayed at the Union Gospel Mission, where they have AA. This seemed suspicious to me. The following Friday, he disappeared again. This time he stayed gone. I was more stunned than worried. I got a little worried as the weeks went by, but not worried enough to call and report him missing. I was done with him and though it did cross my mind to check maybe the hospital or file that report, I did not. I did not care. I feel like that is totally heartless to say, but i didn't care anymore. He left. He had the chance to change. He left me, 3 months pregnant with his kid.
Come last week, i ran into my daughter's nana at WalMart, who informed me that my XAB had been staying with my daughter's dad for the last month, drinking it up, came to their house XMas eve and drank a whole 5th of Rum to himself (supplied by my daughter's dad). This was a big reality hit. This man, who I thought I loved was nothing but a selfish piece of sh**. He was gone for this long, hadn't even called me, hadn't even called to see how his baby was, instead he went and stayed with my daughter's dad (who i don't like with a passion) and drank it up for a month. How could i have been with such a guy. Someone who was very good at lying and manipulating his way into situations, someone who doesn't care about no one but himself, someone who would always want alcohol instead of a real life. I realized something very important. This guy was perfectly content with being a bum on the street, sleeping under bridges. This guy was perfectly content with bumming or stealing money for his next drink. He didn't want to change. He would only change for so long as it suited him. I am happy he is gone. I am happy that I finally got away from him. I am happy that i will never probably see him again and perfectly happy that he will not be in the life of our child. I have only cried once over the situation and that was when i was erasing his pictures from my computer, but only the pics when we were honestly happy.
I just thought I would share my story with you all. If you look at prior posts, you will see that i have come a long way. He might have been the one to leave, but I stood my ground and would not let him back into the relationship.
PS for that month he was sleeping on my couch, saying he was sober, I have found beer cans underneath my bed.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Every time someone manages to free themselves from the grips of alcoholism or another person's drinking it makes my heart sing. You've given yourself and your unborn child the gift of freedom. It doesn't get any better than that.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fort Myers, FL
Posts: 161
I'm sorry you've had to go through so much with him, Meagan. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding me that with the A, "it's all about me and my DOC." You deserve to have someone in your life who treats you like gold and cares for himself as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Salem Oregon
Posts: 7
Thank you all. I am happy and content with being by myself right now and just enjoying the time with my daughter and not worrying about whether my boyfriend is drinking. Right now it is all about me. 
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